Do you know that feeling when
your heart is full
Of that horrible feeling
Everything is wrong
And your heart swells so much
That it's in your throat
And you might just throw up
Retch and retch and dry heave?
Yeah, neither do I

I don't want to write about you
.
.
.
.
.
Yet again.

Walking barefoot head swaying
To the music that the moon plays
only for me on nights like these
My hair scraping the very shoulders
That stand proudly arched back
  Under  dark windy skies
  But otherwise stoop with the sun's weight
I could say that I am tangled
Or maybe I toy around with the idea
of being a mess,   One who's knots you'll lovingly detangle
With your calloused inked fingers.
I dream with open eyes
And surround myself with longing sighs
I'd rather experience you as a pain
Than not remember you at all
That's what these nights do to me
They Take my movements and turn them into a ballad
If only daytime was as light

We say we won't let them go
That we'll hold their memories oh so close
That their imprint will linger on our souls
When they aren't with us any more
But time passes and we forget
And there remembrances don't make you cry
You can even mention them with dry eyes
And shards of glass that their absence had become
Slowly soften their edges with time  
So we forget, we forget the pain
But we forget the joy of their memories too
And we move on, like life does
Trudging on with issues new
One day we suddenly think of them
Rather how we haven't thought of them in so long
And then guilt hits dressed up as nausea
Like we cheated on them and did them wrong
And see I'm scared that now that I've lost you
With time I'll even lose your memories
what if I forget you? I can't I won't
I don't ever want you to leave me completely

Coldness, I have watched you
in the shadows,
and you have given me mine
from time to time, awake
I slumber down paths
of moss and who knows what all
darkness we can gather
one at a time, but not one soul
can make a bouquet from another
soul, it is too cold to be dreaming
and there is no place for the duelist,
the two of us, lovers of black clothes
and fairly good looking women,
it is almost winter and the wind
is my second, wearing a dark cloak,
breathing in the dead eyes
of my brother, how they shine
and listen to him sing that sad song
will you, while gathering snow
and turning darker than starlight.

No room for me
The little creatures that lurk in my head,
They say there is no room for me
I don't posses the required amount of instability
It takes to be me
So they will do it instead
They will rewire me and fix me
These little hollow things will fill me
Then I shall be hallow too

I told myself to fall out of love
I needed to know why I fell into it at all
Like late nights talks I missed
Like take care of yourself please
Like fall asleep to me every night
Like please don't let me down again
I let myself down again..

To get myself out of those pools of green and blue of yours
That aren't really either of those colors
But I saw them as those
And now I saw your true colors..
Like you looked better in greys
Like I never really liked girls
Like they all called it a phase
Like I needed to stop feeling trapped
Like love is freeing
And why do I feel trapped?..

So when you didn't need me anymore
And didn't call much anymore
Like not knowing what to say
Like no this doesn't feel right
Like I know I deserve better
Like why did I do this is the first place
Like God look at me now I'm perfect
Like you're a metaphor and I'm in love with similes
Like I'm sorry you will never see it.
Like I see now...your true colors. And how ******* great I am
And how I deserve better

I figured it out
You love yourself
And you give into who you are
Like he's attracted to me?
Cool me too!
So let's talk about me
And him not having a problem with it
Like I'm over you
And you better deal with it.
Because he and I
We're dealing with something new
Like me and you?
That wasn't true
Like me?
I've fallen out of love
*Just like you