Why am I still waiting...
Even if my heart is bleeding...
Maybe I should've stopped caring...
Because I am just "Nothing"...

I should've followed myself...
But now it's too late.
I've done it myself.
I've fallen for an angel dragging me into an eternal dark place.

Dying, Falling & seeking help
My efforts wasted, I lost myself
You seek love and I am always here
But here all along, My feelings can't be heard

I was never enough...
And will never be enough...
Even if I try rewrite the stars
We were never meant to be

My death will be liberating.

And I do not say that in the sense
that I am going to find a cliff
and take a good jump off.

No.

I am just trying to find a
clever way to tell you

that I do not know what is going
to happen next.

You see,

there is a
fine line
between
dreaming and
mortality

and

I am finding out for myself
that being in love
does not always
involve

being awake.

And for my sake
I fall in love with daydreams,
nightmares,
hazy realities
and

the hung-over idea

of not being enough.

It is all out of my hands.
                 It is all out of time.

And the only thing I have left to do,
now,


is decide.

put all the words
in the world
in my two hands,
each a microscopic dot
of near invisible,
teeming, heaping,
ricochet intersecting
colliding,
cell splendid splitting
leaping,
until they,
wordlessly forming
a sign inquiring,
in neon flashing:

“What did I demand of them?”

”New combinations,” my reply.

how we
laughed together...
as they procreated
My Happy Request