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3.9k · Apr 2015
Nightmares
EdVance Apr 2015
Nightmares haunt
My waking hours
Evil voices sing

Raindrops cloud
Unearthly visions
Darkness hides unseen

Moonlight seeking
Hallowed places
Darkness smothers light

Madness laughing
Prayers unanswered
Lost within the night

Empty feelings
Broken soul
Abandonment of hope

Children crying
Fear consuming
Fog revealing smoke

Evil chants
Bring heavy silence
Revealing the unseen

Deep dark secrets
Mystic places
Everything unclean
1.5k · Apr 2015
CrossRoad
EdVance Apr 2015
Here in this place
I stand on my own
All by myself
Yet still not alone

Where do I turn
At this crossroad
“I wonder”
A storms brewing now
Lightning breeds thunder

East come the rain
The pain of this place
Razor like hailstones
Tearing my face

West flashes lightning
Booming with thunder
Making me shiver
Puzzled I wonder

South I feel evil
Yet pleasure it be
Beckoning to me
Pulling at me

North comes a vision
That fills up the sky
Overflowing with love
And everlasting life
1.3k · Jul 2013
Window
EdVance Jul 2013
A window shows
Me many things
As I look out
It stares back in

An icy frost
Morning dew
A summer breeze
I think of you

The nighttime stars
Destroyed at dawn
Leaves of fall
A violent storm

A purple sky
The sun at noon
Reflections of
The autumn moon

The heavy rain
And rolling fog
A rainbow smiles
To end it all
1.2k · Dec 2011
Spaces
EdVance Dec 2011
I look at this blank page
I see nothing there
So I start to fill spaces
Between all the air

And then I did wonder
If it truly was me
That filled in the spaces
That lie in between

Or where all the spaces
Already there
And I only traced them
To make them appear

I know it sounds crazy
But what if its true
That all is prewritten
Everything that we do

And every step taken
Is merely a print
That’s only revealed
When we step upon it
1.2k · Jul 2013
Darkest
EdVance Jul 2013
Deep within the darkest
Cobwebbed pathways in my mind
Behind the locked and rusted doorways
Are the answers I must find

The pathways reek of sorrow
Long lost lovers crying softly
Endless choices offered
Twisted mazes lie before

One path to eternity
Another to abyss
Clouded by uncertanty
Decisions turn and twist

Mind distraught then crystal clear
Reality or magic
Nowhere evolves everywhere
Time ticks into the madness

No completed songs are sung
Phrases incomplete
Lost my footing stumble down
On my knee's I weep
1.0k · Jul 2013
Trash
EdVance Jul 2013
Take out the trash!!

Take out the trash!!

Its a chore

But in the back of my mind I know

I am the last piece to be taken

OUT
1.0k · Dec 2011
OIL
EdVance Dec 2011
OIL
Gleaming chrome
Reflecting skin
Revving up
Climb on in

Leather seats
Lay Em back
Open wide
Commence attack

Engine screaming
Round the turn
Oil and sweat
Bodies’ burn

Pistons thrusting
Up and down
Primal screams
Rumbling sounds

Friction building
Perfect time
Checkered flag
Cross the line
944 · Jul 2013
Walls
EdVance Jul 2013
These walls they taunt
With frilly linings
They try to hide
The truthfull meaning

The walls designed
To hide the screams
But clearly hear
Them in my dreams

The air around
Reeks of death
My pain
The only pleaseant scent

I fear i'm doomed
To roam these halls
To slowly fade
Into them all

This dark depression
Somehow sweet
I choose the fate
And then repeat
887 · Jul 2013
Today
EdVance Jul 2013
Little voice
Angel eyes

Here today
Now I  cry

once again
twice begin

without loss
without win

Here today
Gone to hell

Absent speech
Cannot tell

Another time
Another place

Constant falling
Lose the race

Sea of time
Through the glass

No continue
nothing lasts

Endless midnight
Moonlight shine

Silent mist
Cross a line

Morning mist
Heaven calling

Emptiness
All forgotten
886 · Jul 2013
Pills
EdVance Jul 2013
I’ve ****** up so much
Of my life I don’t care
And the more that you say
Is the less that I hear
I got nothing to lose
And I don’t see no gain
So just back the **** up
For I show you insane
They all say somethins wrong
With the way that I think
So they give me these pills
And they send me to shrinks
They just talk and they talk
And it don’t solve a thing
I just want to explode
I just want to cause pain
I have dreams in the night
That I don’t understand
So I drink and I drink
To **** pain that I’m in
I just wish I could sleep
And just never wake up
Just to stop all the feelins
Of never enough
Cuz I live in a world
That’s just crushin me down
They just kick and they punch
And they push me around
Till I can’t take no more
And I start pushin back
All the anger just builds
Till I finally crack
And the ones who all tell me
To be who I’m not
Can just go **** themselves
Or just **** on my ****
I can’t take it no more
And I’m gonna explode
Now you’ll finally see
How the story unfolds
When I finally snap
And I start breakin bones
I go out of control
And I start burnin homes
So you better just watch
What you say and you do
Cuz I’m ****** insane
And I’m comin for you
776 · Apr 2015
Clock
EdVance Apr 2015
I don’t stop
When I cop
All this rock
In my hand
Or I chill
With a pill
And I’m
Noddin again
All this ****
I agree
Is my way to get by
And the molly
Good golly
Helps me Find
Reasons why
LSD
***
Now I’m in
Outer space
Then a shot
Watch the clock
Always loosing
The race
All this ***
A new Ex
And I don’t
Really care
Life in hell
My own cell
And I don’t
Think it’s fair
As I walk through
This storm
And I scream
Out in pain
Like a weight
Pushin down
Someone else
In my brain
Always holdin
Me back
Whispers that
I’m insane
Never up
Always down
Like I’m playin
A game
With the odds
And the scales
Tippin further
Away
Still I walk
And I talk
Like I think
That I know
But I’m really
As blind
As a fool
In the snow
771 · Apr 2015
Path
EdVance Apr 2015
This life I lead
These paths I follow
Sometimes run deep
Sometimes grow shallow

All through the muck
And murky mallow
Reveals a dark
Disturbing hallow

From whence it came
Begins again
Alone   Alone
Not nare a friend

I scream to heavens
Holies past
Who curses thee
Whose fist has wrath

With nare a sound
Or slight response
Again begins
My hellish haunt
721 · Jul 2013
Rebirth
EdVance Jul 2013
Today I stopped
I looked around
A long deep breath
A sigh out loud

How long have I
Been in this place
And never noticed
Solemn grace

The air around
The trees alive
The clouds above
The endless sky

A morning dew
A ray of sun
A summer breeze
Alone with one
715 · Dec 2011
Story
EdVance Dec 2011
When I look back at my story
When I was very very young
I was given no direction
I often stared up at the sun

I tried to find the answers
Without a question on my mind
I searched through pain and suffering
Never read a single sign

I worshiped only pleasure
And it always paired with pain
I thought I’d learned a lesson
But I’m right back here again

I robbed, I stole and cheated
Thinking only of myself
I never cared for others
All for me and no one else

I projected my reflection
Saw an evil sinful world
Everything around me
Caused my peril to unfurl




Then I stood upon a crossroads
I was a broke and tired man
With no home or destination
Nowhere was a helping hand

Then I looked upon the life I lead
And the things that I had done
And I thought about that little boy
Who would stare up at the sun

And I wondered what would happen
If I had another try
If I had someone to show me
How to live a better life

How to love a little better
How to spend a little time
Making other people happy
Never caring what was mine

Not to worry about the money
Do away with foolish pride
Take some time to smell the flowers
Truly find the reasons why





Find a God of understanding
Ask Him who I really am
Stretch my hand out to a brother
Be the one to lend a hand

It was then I got a feelin
One I’ve never had before
The answer I’d been searching for
Was standing at my door

He reached his hand out to uplift me
I rose a strong but humble man
Now all the things that brought me down
Where now my armor to defend

As I looked upon this crossroads
From a different point of view
My life now had a meaning
I felt empowered by the truth

The fear and pain have left me
I can help my fellow man
I truly think that little boy
Would be proud of who I am
691 · Jul 2013
Torture
EdVance Jul 2013
My mind it just will not stop
It wakes me just to torture
From now to then up and down
The past becomes the future

I never seem to get a break
From dusk to dawn I tumble
I walk within the morning mist
My mind forever mumbles

It always seems I’m searching
For a place that I can hide
But never can I run away
From self voices deep inside

My happiness is locked away
In the darkest of the night
I chip away unendingly
To bring it to the light
665 · Apr 2015
The Dr.
EdVance Apr 2015
I came here today, To tell you a tale
A story of convicts, Of prisons and jails
I speak of a man, Who when in a pinch
Will turn on his friends, They call him
THE SNITCH
I remember that day, That we lie in our bunks
And I told him a story, Of how I got drunk
I drove way down town, I was feeling quite ill
I stopped POPS the hopper, And bought me a pill
I stepped on the gas, And sped out of town
I ran through a light, And I mowed a man down
In a couple of days, Sergeant McKIRK McGURDER
Dragged me to court, For a new charge of ******
The Judge slammed the gavel, With a sneer gave out time
My sentence then grew, Nine hundred times nine
It didn’t take long, To figure what happened
When that punk in my cell, Was soon granted full pardon
My anger grew stronger, But I’d nothing but time
I waited and waited, Revenge
Would be mine
Then came the day, We met in the shower
With fear in his eyes, He started to cower
He knew in his heart, The time had arrived
My shiv it sank deep, In his side nineteen times
So the moral I tell you, Is don’t be a *****
Cuz it’s always the end, For the one called
THE SNITCH
This is a tribute to one of my earliest and favorite artists
642 · Jul 2013
Fade
EdVance Jul 2013
Alone appears
Familiar decent
Captivating
Long regret

Upon the night
The whisper calls
A beckoning
Invites the fall

Thoughts revealing
Long gone pain
The banishment
Began again

I watched the slip
Control the fall
Did nothing
To resist at all

I watched it grow
And take control
Upon a string
I dance alone

Awakened pride
As I look back
Too late now
Off the track

Its all ok
Its just one more
Stronger now
Bad luck before

I'm all I need
Just stay away
Your tongues of fire
Run run away

You don't know
How this feels
This inner pain
This broken wheel

Just get away
From deep inside
A little voice
Run run and hide

Thoughts controlled
The inner pain
The banishment
Completes the ring
632 · Apr 2015
Dice
EdVance Apr 2015
Every time I get on
It’s like rollin the dice
I just wanted it once
But I still did it twice
All these days roll on by
Like a flash of the light
But I’m still ****** here
On the edge of a knife
I just wish I could stop
But I still want to go
So I run to the edge
Till I can’t run no more
I live like I think
And I think like I don’t
As my mind swirls around
So don’t think that I won’t
Turn around and smack down
Or just choke on your throat
Cuz I don’t ****** care
So don’t think it’s a joke
I have nothing to lose
You have nothing to gain
So just back the **** up
For I show you insane
On the edge I will sit
Till the ending of time
I will never give up
Till I get what is mine
615 · Apr 2015
WINGS
EdVance Apr 2015
Today i met an angel
Who fell out of the sky
Her wings were badly damaged
Full of teardrops in her eyes

She thought her soul was broken
She thought she was alone
But other fallen angels
Surrounded her with love

As time went by the wings returned
And all the teardrops dried
The beauty and the glow reborn
With magic in her eyes

She rose above the demons
Left them far behind
Renewal of the spirit
On new wings began to fly
583 · Jul 2013
Wish
EdVance Jul 2013
I woke upon a moonlit night
The stars seemed never ending
A slight breeze blew across my face
I sighed and then imagined

I wonder if you gaze upon
The same stars that I see
I wonder if you look above
And sometimes, Think of me

Sometimes it feels like you are here
Or maybe I am there
Even darkened stormy days
I feel we are together

As days go by I think of you
And wonder where you are
I stare upon the moonlit sky
And wish upon a star

I dream of being with you
Till that day I walk alone
With heavy heart and cloudy eyes
Awaiting your return
581 · Jul 2013
Winter
EdVance Jul 2013
The shadows cast
A somber glow
The sounds drift
Into silence

The air hangs
Heavy, Hauntingly
My heart skips
With excitement

The moon shines
Bright upon the scene
I feel as one
The dark and me

A creature’s howl
Cuts through the air
My eyes reflect
An eerie tale

As clouds obscure
The winter moon
The wind doth play
Unholy tunes
576 · Nov 2012
Greener
EdVance Nov 2012
I went to where
I shouldn’t go
I went there
Even though I know

The grass was sweeter
So it seemed
But the other side
Hides in deceit

I traveled over
No way home
Illusions gone
Now all alone

The painful truth
Is now revealed
With flesh is sin
And hell is real

As sweeter taste
Of dreams subside
I  savor only
Sour times

Again regret
I must endure
Self-broken
Heart forevermore

The inquiry still
Puzzle me
Again I ask
How can this be

How many times
I’ve been a fool
I’ve drank upon
This poison pool

I see no ending
To this pain
I’ve lost all hope
Lost all refrain
518 · Jul 2013
Scratch
EdVance Jul 2013
nothins ever good as we want it to be
Nothing last forever and so nothing is free

Life is full of choices every twist another turn
Second guessing chances forever fly to only burn

Decisions all uncertain
Living life on faith
searching for the one
The only only save

looking for an answer
not a question on my mind
Speaking tounges in circles
Only never find

even bad decisions
lead a pathway to the light
Planning of the outcome
Increases only fight
517 · Jul 2013
Weep
EdVance Jul 2013
My prayers today
Fell on deaf ears
Is God to tired
Or will not hear

So many prayers
That I have sent
With no response
With no repent

I ask Him why
My life’s this way
He sends his words
I don’t obey

Yet still I pray
And ask for more
But never try
The narrow door

He weeps for me
I feel the shame
Another day
Of constant pain

I curse at him
You owe me more
The tears rain down
I hit the floor

This man of clay
That I’ve become
Cannot be changed
By none not one

But still I pray
And ask of Him
He sits and waits
I don’t come in

The tears rain down
I brush them off
The clay gets hard
My life gets rough

I can’t go on
With life this way
I wonder why
I even pray


Still on I trudge
Day by day
It’s all my will
The only way


Until one day
I can’t go on
I hear the words
I look above


I scream to Him
I scream out loud
On bended knee
God help me now

I’m yours forever
This I say
My will to you
Release this pain

The tears rain down
And melt the clay
Within Gods hands
I rest and pray


He shapes my life
He guides my time
He teaches love
His will not mine

Today I weep
But not alone
No longer clay
But flesh and bone

My God with me
We weep as one
To save another
Fallen son
512 · Jul 2013
Pocket
EdVance Jul 2013
I sit all alone
Crowded the room
All of the pain
Cell made of gloom
I remember the days
That I could not go on
But heavenly grace
I pushed on to the dawn
Many  a prayer
Sent every day
Looking for guidance
Seeking the way
Then all alone
It all came quite clear
The answer to all
Was really right here
Disguised as a giggle
A tickle in time
A soft loving snuggle
In pockets of mine
491 · Apr 2015
Heartache
EdVance Apr 2015
I woke alone in heartache
A place I never want to be
My feelings turn against me
My soul begins to bleed

My teardrops feel like winter rain
Yet burn my eyes like fire
The pain feeds, Tearing endlessly
Killing every wish, desire

A hopeless state of consequence
I never ever want to feel
My inner light is faulting
Please God make this unreal

Waves and waves of cold despair
Are thrashing through my soul
My mind aloft with final thoughts
My heart collects its toll
479 · Aug 2013
Noon
EdVance Aug 2013
I woke up late this morning
I felt all out of place
almost like I'm happy
But this cannot be the case

I saw you to the left of me
I wanted to run right
I'm trapped, insane, insane
Again, I cringe upon the light

I dance around
Skips of the heart
The mind plays tricks
I have to run

This is the start
Of all the end
The screams within
destroyed again

Please save me From myself
I cannot resist
No more no more pain
Please please no refrain
453 · Apr 2015
PEN
EdVance Apr 2015
PEN
As I put down this pen
To this pad and I write
All the feelings just flow
Like the stars in the night
All the fear and the anger
The guilt and the shame
Though it cuts like a knife
It releases the pain
So I bleed and the blood
Freely flows from my soul
All the lyrics come out
And I have no control
And I can’t tell you why
Cuz I don’t understand
How it all just appears
With this pen in my hand
It’s a curse but it’s not
At the very same time
It’s my brain it won’t stop
So on to the next line
It’s a skill that I have
That is freeing my soul
And I’ll use it until
I’m far down in a hole
450 · Apr 2015
Peril
EdVance Apr 2015
Somewhere in the darkest night
An innocent was crying
Beyond the reach of holy light
A believers slowly dying

The cries go out, But don’t return
Then slowly fade away
A silent whisper, fills the air
All hope begins to fade

Their faith dissolves into the dark
Loyalties for sale
Worshiping whoever will
Rescue them from this peril

The angels cry, And sing out loud
Hopelessly aware
The power of the holy light
Beyond the reach of this despair

All alone with waivered faith
The midnight hours creeping
A child alone just out of reach
The enemy awakens

Fear creates a wanton hole
That evil quickly fills
Removing all the loneliness
A false promise now revealed
447 · Jul 2013
Ending of another day
EdVance Jul 2013
Twas the
Ending of another day
Was it worth the time I spent
the pain the guilt .....
the long regret
was it worth the time I spent....

I prayed for love
I wished it gone
I hummed a tune
But hate the song

I feel the sun
But hate the light
Calling friends
Starting fights

outside alone
alone outside
only joy is
under cry

I dream upon
A rainy day
And curse it
As it goes away
435 · Jul 2013
Thread
EdVance Jul 2013
I don't know why I do the things I do
It makes me wonder am I really in control
Or just a puppet falling under
Someone else's evil spell then I wake up from the screaming
Saying how the hell just did I get away from all the dreaming
About the end of the beginning or the start of something new
Cuz I cant tell if its me or if its really only you
Who says it first then makes it last until the sun comes up again
And then the moon it takes control until I cannot comprehend
Then I'm right back where I started then I have to start again
Without a reason or an answer only thoughts are closing in
Until I have no where to run and hide I break from deep within
As it snaps my final thread of hope but still I'm glad that its the END
423 · Jul 2013
Pit
EdVance Jul 2013
Pit
This pit
I dug it alone
false pretenses i assure
But none the less
Dug it alone
Alone
Alone i cry out to the unknown
alone
421 · Jul 2013
Not the one
EdVance Jul 2013
I’m not the one
To dry you’re tears
I’m not the one
To hold you near
I’m not the one
To calm you down
I’m not the one
To turn your frowns
I’m not the one
I’ve kissed your feet
I’m not the one
I won’t repeat
I’m not the one
To take the blame
I’m not the one
To hide the shame
I’m not the one
Who’s on your side
You’re the one
Who did decide
I’m not the one
To share your life
I’m not the one
Goodbye Goodnight
396 · Apr 2015
Walk
EdVance Apr 2015
The music plays
And I remember
The times we had
The times we never

Got to see
The other side
Although we wanted
But never tried

To find a way
To walk as one
Yet love fell like
The setting sun

Rise again
But not this way
Will I walk
Until the day

I walk with you
Into the night
And hold you till
The morning light
388 · Apr 2015
Shift
EdVance Apr 2015
Forever is a lonely place
Time offers no forgiveness
Like a drip ,,Again ,,Again
It slowly turns to madness

Unfolding everlasting change
Back and forth returning
Unending themes appearing
Silent voices still conversing

Imagination building
On a sea of shifting time
Thoughts unbound and flowing
Approaching the divine

Crystal spirits laughing
Unforgiving hallowed ground
Distant sights revealing
Smelling silence in the sound

Flowing to eternity
Neither here nor there
Amazing destinations
Thoughts cloudy although clear
375 · Apr 2015
20%
EdVance Apr 2015
20%
Its all in or all out
There is no in between
Only twenty percent
Really know what i mean
You can lie with the dogs
That are snoring in hell
Or get up off your ***
It's your soul that you sell
I go up I go down
But its always the same
Now I sit in this room
And i'm wracking my brain
With the what and the why
Do I do what I do
Why I cant take the blame
And i;m pointing at you
348 · Jul 2013
Mirrors
EdVance Jul 2013
Why did you bring me
If you didn't know
How to show love
How to nurture and grow

Why did you bring me
To do nothing right
To curse me with stupid
To prove yourself right

Why did you bring me
To feed on my tears
Don't you have feelings
don't you have fears

Why did you bring me
I've done nothing wrong
It isn't my fault
I'm not who you are

Why did you bring me
Then cast me away
You cursed me with mirrors
You gave me your FACE
325 · May 2015
Dance
EdVance May 2015
The fall leaves dance upon the wind
A spiral of excitement
A chill blows shivers up and down
The air breathes heavy silence

A wisp of cold crisp winters breath
Bring vibrant colored sounds
A sky of marbled purple hues
Connect the heavens to the ground

Outstretching sky of speechless beauty
Brushed with strokes of life
Scents and colors fill the air
As day bows down to night

As the twilight washes over
One by one it all appears
The endless destinations
On a sea of time revealed
325 · Jul 2013
T
EdVance Jul 2013
T
I thought I dreamt a dream today
all the pain had washed away
I thought I dreamt a dream today
A cool breeze blew across my face
I thought I dreamt a dream today
The birds sang songs and angels prayed
I thought I dreamt a dream today
Two lovers kissed like their first day
I thought I dreamt a dream today
I hope I dream another day
308 · Apr 2015
Mask
EdVance Apr 2015
Is this pain I feel
A test or curse
Will it make me a man
Or something far far far worse

I try not to show it
It hides way inside
I cannot control it
It eats me alive

I dare not show weakness
I have to push on
Yet don’t have the power
To stand on my own

So I hide in the shadows
Away from the light
The darkness brings comfort
I live for the night

I wrap in a blanket
Of lies and deceit
I wear many masks
To hide the defeat
303 · Apr 2015
Would You
EdVance Apr 2015
Would you still love me
If I wasn’t the same
If I had lots of money
If I wasn’t insane

Would you still love me
If you knew who I was
Would it change how you feel
Would it smother the love

Would you still love me
If I told you the truth
Would you just run
Or stand win or lose

Would you still love me
If it was all a lie
If the one that you see
Is much different inside

Will you still love me
As I go through this change
As I reshape myself
As I’m once born again
296 · May 2017
Hidden
EdVance May 2017
Somewhere between the light
And the other side of night

Lies a place that hides
Away from you and me

Somewhere before tomorrow
And what yesterdays all follow

Are the demons
Lie awaiting to be freed

Somehow between our dreams
And our lonely nightmare screams

Manifest the things
That keep our souls unclean

So when you lie awake in sorrow
Remember that tomorrow

Is todays great secret
Waiting to be freed
292 · Apr 2015
Forever
EdVance Apr 2015
I woke up last night crying
From a long lost dream of you
I thought that I’d forgotten
But I guess it’s still too soon

I remember how I loved you
All the times we spent alone
I never saw an ending
Never thought you would be gone

Those days are all behind me
But the memories still clear
Of the love we shared together
And the dreams that we did share

You are forever with me
In my dreams our love survives
Although were not together
I hold you close for all of time
284 · Jan 2018
Fallen
EdVance Jan 2018
Today I met an angel
Who fell out of the sky
Her wings were badly damaged
Bleeding teardrops from her eyes

The sky above was heavy
It threw her to the ground
She couldn’t seem to catch a breath
Her demons dragged her down

She thought her Life was over
She felt so all alone
But other fallen angels
Surrounded her with love


The other angels loved her
Until she loved her self
They taught her how to live again
By helping someone else

As time went by the wings returned
And all the teardrops dried
The beauty and the glow reborn
Now magic in her eyes

She rose above the demons
Left them far behind
Her wings built of compassion
Helping others of her kind
261 · Apr 2017
Lapse
EdVance Apr 2017
Today I heard a silent sound
A sound I’ve heard before
I thought it had gone silent
But it’s louder than before

I didn’t want to listen
Just wanted it to stop
But it grew and grew much louder
It became my only thought

My mind knew how to stop it
But I didn’t want to go
But soon I could not take it
I felt so all alone

The little voice was speaking
It told me what I need
Get it Get it Get it now
It will give you the release

With no one left to turn to
And nowhere left to go
I listened to the voices
And now I am no more
229 · Apr 2017
Listen
EdVance Apr 2017
Today I did listen
And I heard a new sound
Twas the sound of hearts breaking
Every time I come round

Today I did listen
Not like other days
Not only for self
But for some others pain

Today I did listen
And prayed for you all
For all who had contact
For all I had harmed

Today I did listen
With nothing to say
I heard the unspoken
I heard all the pain

Today I did listen
And i dont like the sound
For its I that create it
And its far far to loud
228 · Apr 2017
Lost
EdVance Apr 2017
I lost another friend today
His past reached in and pulled him way
He tried to run but couldn’t hide
From deep dark secrets locked inside

A man like me who turned around
Pulled himself up off the ground
He tried to find an inner peace
But years of chains would not release

I try to look but turn away
Is this my fate is this the way
Are all these trials I face in vain
Will my past come to reclaim

But change is what I must endure
Transformation forevermore
Never is this battle won
But day by day we rise above

Never will it be the same
Change is such a splendid thing
We take it in to give it back
To be the hand that pulls them back
222 · Apr 2017
Angels
EdVance Apr 2017
I entered to a place of pain
Like many times before
Full of shame and hopelessness
As they shut and locked the door

I spent the day reflecting
On the things that I had done
I wept and sobbed unendingly
I never want to see the sun

But someone watches over me
Disregarding all my wrongs
Surrounding me with angels
To show me I’m not done

I watched the angels caring
For the suffering of man
I watched them put themselves aside
Just to lend a helping hand

Day by day my spirit rose
As I watched unending love
As angels gave their heart and soul
Just to help man rise above

I reflect upon the time I spent
As if night to day I see
New faith in man and angels
Are the things they left with me
221 · Apr 2017
Magic
EdVance Apr 2017
I dreamt last night that thing again
That thing that’s never let me in
The happiness that flows inside
Of other people that they hide
But still I woke within a smile, a smile
That spoke a thousand miles
They can hide it if they wish
But I stole some from within their bliss
I’ll hold this for a day or two
And every day I’ll think of you
There’s magic in the mind they say
And believe it moreand more each day
219 · Apr 2017
Bone
EdVance Apr 2017
Is it wrong to be lonely?
To no want to share
To be hidden and ugly
To be stuck in a hell

I just want to be told
That its really ok
I just need to be held
On my darkest o days

If you could feel all the things that I really do think
Would you  think or think twice bout takin a drink
An im not tryna say that im right or im wrong
But your actions against me are certainly strong

So I back up and puff out
So I look like im  strong
But im really a boy
That’s just faking it all

And I just don’t know how
To explain all these things
They just run and they run and they play in my brain
But I want to do right but I don’t understand
How it feels so ****  good to be wrong like I am

So im trapped in the dark seeking out for a light
But unable to stop all the thieves in the night
They keep coming along all with mirrors in hand
So I never can truly see who they or I am
but they take and I give and I give and I die
slowly on and its on till the cycle subsides
then they harp and they harp and the moan and they moan
and I cant and I cant go alone so I choke on the bone
it’s a thing that I know is just killing inside
but my lust for companionship brings be aside
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