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She always smiled, and finally had cried,
She got tired of all those people who lied;
Her eyes, no longer bright and wide,
This is a story about a girl who died.

She cut her wrist and watched it drip,
With blood so red, as the color of her lip;
She took the chance, not letting it slip,
She added more to the wrist she had slit.

It wasn’t enough, so she tied a noose,
Making sure it was secure, not loose;
She grabbed a chair and took off her shoes,
There she stood, covered in bruise.

She never found ways,
To die, without a trace;
But the thought of finally dying, made her heart race,
She then pushed the chair, with a smile on her face.
You might hate me. I would understand. I’ve been through a lot to get where I am. I’ve become monster after monster, those things that make us horrified. I’ve looked in the mirror without knowing who is staring back. I’ve tacked and taped myself up. Picked and racked myself up, into piles that could last miles, no wonder you can’t stand me. It’s petrifying to see where ive been and see what I had to become to become who I am. To see how the denial made my tongue so slick when spoken to. To see all the toxicity that left me rotting. And who I am, not even I completely understand.
Is love an illusion or is it real?
Are these just hormones or is it something supernal I feel?
Have I been fooled by the stories in books and on TV screens?
Or are they proof that love does exist.
Do you think love is real? Let me know.
as silent as the moon & sun. Traveling back to your pressence.
Can i tell you a little secret?
one that will leave your skin dancing?
You are the glass cup, & everything you put into it is everything else.
Long day.
Hard day.
Bad day.
You think on the way home from school or work that you will feel better when you get home. You drive down the street and start to think. You think about how your life is ****. You think about how you have told yourself your whole life that it will be better soon. You think about how soon is now and its not better. You think about what to do. Your choices are limited to you but you already seem to know your choice. You walk into your house and walk upstairs into your room. You look in your closet. The rope is still there from when you were moving. You grab it. You throw your bag on the floor. You walk to your bed and sit down. You try to tie different knots and realise you fail at that to. You end up googleing how to tie the knot. You struggle for a few minutes but you tie a noose. You tie the other end to the bar on the ceiling of you closet. You go to the bathroom and grab the stool your little sister uses to reach the sink. You put the stool underneath the rope swaying in your closet. You step up onto the stool. The noose sways on front of you. You grab the knotted rope and slip it over your head. You tighten it. Your heart starts beating faster. Your breath gets heavier. Your thoughts start racing. You feel like you cant breathe. You think to yourself its now or never. You make the decision. You jump and kick the stool back. Your neck didnt break immediately so you struggle. You cant breathe. You have so much pressure on your kneck. You cant breathe. Your back hurts. You cant breathe. Your kneck feels bruised. You cant breathe.  You sit there with your arms flailing everywhere. You cant breathe. You decide to quit struggling. You calm yourself. You close your eyes. You let go.
“What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong is that I can feel myself slipping
Into that deep, dark place again.
I want to tell someone
So I don’t have to face it alone,
But I feel like I am just wasting their time.
I am starting to feel hatred towards myself,
And I can’t even look at my own reflection anymore.
I feel as if I am on an emotional rollercoaster.
One minute I am happy, then sad, then mad
Until now because I just feel numb.
I am exhausted,
And it is the kind of exhaustion that not even sleep can fix.
I am tired of trying.
I am tired of life.

“Nothing I’m fine, just tired I guess”
Been a while since I have written anything. But I guess here is a look inside my head.....
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