I want to die and I've never been known to lie
I want to cry but my eyes are dryer than a sunny day
I want to fly just say goodbye probably do it by Friday
I've been asked why got no answer but here I lie
I've been burnt to ash  addiction not the answer it gets in the way
I've been turnt from cash an corruption for benediction I pray
I say "we can do this" even though I'm about to lose it
I say "Its all okay" even when there's no good news on the way
I say "I wanna die" even if the times are good I can't lie

bullets out in the thunderdome
five five send bullets at your dome
glock glock shots **** ya in your home
nine one one callin from a payphone
Someone pay for the dial tone

So if any one has problems with me
I take care of them I keep the peace
Don't need the ******* police
Don't need more dead bodies
Blue boy gang stay out the lobby

Besides don't you got a starving kid to arrest
In aisles shoplifting a box of chex mix
Put in slammers for feeding himself
Throw someones life away like kleen ex
Dead to society life of the ex convict

Lost it all, coulda avoided it for 3.50
But they need cell fillers cant be left empty
Cuz slavery is the cornerstone of american currency
Tell me would you fight to end slavery?
Or lie to yourself and say slaves are the enemy

If this society collapses thats fine by me
I would rather live in a land thats free
Than one where people swing from trees

The things I write have no meaning
I hardly even know what I am saying
I speak on and on its kind of like praying
All while I know my kind live like dying
We wile away the time and cry while smiling

What is it I'm hearing, that you have given it all up
All while knowing that your effort or lack of matters not
Even if your not going I must go
Its empty resistance? but even so
I must go

I would rather live and die alone than live where I've grown
This town would rather live under the thumb of those that govern
I will have no sovereign that is tyranny to everyone who is born
Heirs to grief I renounce my throne and I give up my home
Belief in a life without chains I know I'm not alone

Its all often misunderstood failure to understand where I stand
Appear broken but nothing to mend and nothing is planned
I wear down but I'm not waiting for the end or for something grand
I tend the soil until its grown even when I hate the land
Some toil until its late and they are grown according to fates hand
For me that's what was planned for me to be buried in the sand
Shifting and lost in the land so I ran and I ran

I can't die until I hold something with meaning give me anything
Even a lie, I am boldly running toward nothing and everything
And sadly the land is lacking, barren with loathing
So onward I am going looking for belonging
Onward and trying to make something of nothing

An overture of laments come from above
Gods signature sent on the wing of a dove
As an angel is sent by his wing toward what was
Fly away, away from farther days toward my words
Turn away, away from sharpened swords and words
Winds sway a breeze silent struck a chord, so now its time to go forward

Can anyone one hear it the sound crashes as much as its effervescent
Fall down and crash to the ground, ashes may be the present
We all fall down in the ashes and not a lesson is learnt
But move on or in ashes you will be burnt
Stand up and use those lessons learnt

Positive that I am foolish and that it is all nonsense
Positive that you are foolish and full of nonsense
Insane with foolish ideals, but you are no prince
These are not your people watch they are silent
Loathe you for all your defiance

Still a knight you may be without a king to fight for
Still is the night darkness about in moonlight it soars
A message on the wing of a dove seen only by the poor
It speaks of a place of a thing never before seen an open door
Beyond lays the face of nothing and no one yet it is a mirror

Give in not to fear, and step into the night
Walk and it will draw near drawn to sight
Dress warm as winter will wear you tight
Stay calm and steady if you care you must fight
If you do not, be ready to be lost in the night

My opinion is that no one may chain away your defiance
Even when dyin no one has to remain silent
Redemption in remembrance a stain in the quiet
Conviction to perseverance the shine never wanes a diamond

We will one day rise above I saw it written on the wings of a dove
It must be true I saw the rise of people seething forward with push and a shove
It must be true that we are more than what was onward we go with love

Theres no more reservations left in heaven
Living in hell my expectations but more at seven
Live to talk its satans words out the television
Driving me to drink till I see in 2020 vision
Doing drugs so I dont think with double vision
Red thugs out and their on a ****** mission
Maga mugs sold out make a billion on commission
Red hats worn out looks like its the new fascist
Oops I meant fashion

One bullet wont change the world just change a life
Bullets shout short changed and sold in the age of strife
The guns cry more than aged men ordering the death
Sons left to die in the sun nothings left, nothings ******* left
Rights dont apply at the point of a gun enforcers commit theft
Dark sights below locked in the joint welcome to the shaft
No dark night so we're all ****** wonder who gets the last laugh

I've done the math and we don't have the numbers
Cousin did the **** and now it all feels somber
What was best I just dont think I can remember
Know we won't last barely made it to december
When no ones real every ******* a pretender
I dont have enough real to lend here so it draws near
The collapse coming in clear should I raise a beer

Its all empty life is just empty it all gets to me
The pain of friends who wanna end it gets to me
The pain of an enemy the **** just gets to me
I know I'm not sane no one feelin the same as me
Should just stay in my lane but some things I cant unsee
A man choked to death gasping to be free
Sands passing as children rest in cages in the land of the free
Fires spreading an uprisin in a late stages just wanting to be free
Hate spreading from the president who wants nothing but money
Is it tragedy, is it dark comedy, should I laugh, is this funny?

Burn the whole house down
Hand down her blouse and gown
Go down on her without consent
Electrify men for fun if your mike pence
Watch out Bidens got your scent
And trumps stealing your rent

So if you tell me not to worry get bent
I'm busy asking where my freedom went
Why is she in a casket buried in a trench
What the **** is with spikes on a bench
Why the **** does everyone follow a *****
These ******* lived where I lived they'd get hit

But the police dogs work for these *****
I disagree with how they hunt amongst us
Killers and kidnappers now my uncles lost
Systems clutching his ***** his minds the cost
Blames half with him when he pulls a knife to my throat
Half with them who left him with only a knife and a rope

Choice is crime or ******* die
I aint gonne lie if it were me then its crime
And **** the time **** a cop before I get stopped
**** a cop before I get popped for living on dimes
Everyone saw the signs if you didnt you lyin
Life is cheap and look whos out buyin

Your a slave same as me so beg your owner for closure
Or rise up and in a day your life faces foreclosure
Everything you are hit by an eraser got no place here
No more tears to cry anymore hollowed out by fear
And if my death draws near then clutch what you hold dear
Cause I'm burning this whole house down, its time for war

Dont care if I could live comfortable if my brothers live miserable
The conditions are all squalor look me in the eye tell me life isnt terrible
I dont have any wise parables no lesson to learn in this ****** fable
If you have no life, if you will never get to rise, only thing on the table
Is to burn this ******* down to the mortar
End everything give no quarter

No Fuehrer here just hate and fury
Feels like the time is late so lets hurry
**** living till January      
Within ashes I will be buried
With self-destruction I'm married

Times up tabs up daisy's up
Hit you up like whats up
Get bags don't **** up
Don't talk no cutting up
Snitch an your lucks up
On the street getting ****** up
Got a bottle and its bottoms up
Your girl in the club bottoms up

On the clock moving dope
Smoking up on your block
Hold the rope and the glock
Hold the rock and the soap

Got a pound from the homie
Flipped it now I'm makin money
Eating eggs its all sunny
Making rent on the monthly

Last week dug a ditch for the bag
This week was out playing tag
To keep out of wearing these rags
Steep the cost of playing without toe tags

Its all luck and yours ****
Now mines up got it on lock
Up goes my stock what a shock
Now I rock got out the box

Times up tabs up daisy's up
Hit you up like whats up
Get bags don't **** up
Don't talk no cutting up
Snitch an your lucks up
On the street getting ****** up
Got a bottle and its bottoms up
Your girl in the club bottoms up

We ain't got no cash now thats ***** talk
Go out get your cash thats how a man walk

Pour one out if you got dead homies
Get the **** out if your found phony

Cooking it up like chef Boyardee
Looking me up cuz I'm the dope boy

I keep business on the low
But you know I'm finna glow
So who is it you wanna know
Know who it is if you need mo blow

I come in the the party with a splash
I pose in every camera flash
Me and the bro's with a fourty an the stash
How it goes every night smashed

Now I spend my nights lookin at cash amounts
Bike into the night tradin out the stash an bounce
Home all night smokin up the stash there goes an  ounce
Tonight livin it up puff puff pass we smoking blunts

Times up tabs up daisy's up
Hit you up like whats up
Get bags don't **** up
Don't talk no cutting up
Snitch an your lucks up
On the street getting ****** up
Got a bottle and its bottoms up
Your girl in the club bottoms up

Nothing numbs the pain it aches in my brain
Blades scrape across skin trace lines where its been
Maybe its cuz of a world of sin things dont feel the same
A baby dead in the crib and the ones to blame
Own a world and live like gods in private planes
Maybe its my life of sin I dont feel the same
In the rain and in the sun it all feels the same
Don't feel the same, since when?
Since pandemic, since panic, since eighteen, since then
Since I lost it been manic became an addict bordering on fiend
Failed to be apathetic others can I don't get it so I lost friends
So I would lend when I knew should just let it end
Feels like the end a relationship moulder when they dont tend
Nothing left to send just a cold shoulder left for them
Permanent damage my back covered by scars got like ten
Permanently in a stage of bein worried, what if? and when
Sanity nonexistant in this late stage game of monopoly
Sever me this instant my heart cant take living in a colony
Only thing I'm passionate about is ending despondency
Don't care what its all about just let me out, no apology's
Their unnecessary like post mortem biography's    
Less remembered of me the better erase my chronology
Better to have erased my history in its entirety
Every letter off the face, because I'm tired of me

Years chewed up and spit out like double bubble
Chains accrued bit by bit, growing out a stubble
Gains accrued lost in a night in one drunken stumble
Flowers burned blast off in the night sky like Hubble telescope
Me and my homies float without a boat couple a tokes
Everythings funny and I just need to smoke
Got like half a pound in my ****** coat
Without it I might just choke
***** just a joke

Stoner at the party I aint a loner
Under the stars feel like a goner
David Bowie I'm a black star
Cloud my eyes so I don't see far
Clouds roll out the car
Lungs full of dinosaur tar
**** the earth I chill on mars
**** livin ***** a chore
**** bullshittin its a bore
**** im low I need some more
Living high the choice, or

Living a lie every week till friday
Paying my way every payday
Making a choice which do I say
Which way does the rope fray
Do I stay or off the edge I sway
***** just a joke laugh in may

Winter comes and I die in December
Enter the reality of someone noone remember
******* regularly hand grips the member
Participate in everything the club im a member
The party you know im gonna be there
That 40oz im swimming in the amber
No more mind lost it like kramer
Build every line cuz I'm the framer
Wish I made time to be a star
Wish upon a star hope I'll go far

Instead of drowning in the dinosaur tar
Dead in the morning wont last four more bars
Dont have any mourning my passing anymore
Dont have anything left, not existing I'm in the dark
Its all crashing despite the trying nothing seem to work
No more lying, told you I wouldn't last this is the last bar

All the things I have done spent far too long playing dumb
Have I finally won or do I just lose the some one I once was
I have shunned any who do as I displease never spared the crumb
Many turned away by who I chose to be turned by my flaws
Flaws turned the world but the never do they turn the sun

All of my regrets I leave to my empty space
I wear each on lines that mark my face
Speak them away with my silent voice
I speak out to you in white noise
Can your hear what the sound says?

Crash on your drums is the reply a locked door
I am on your dialtone I lie on your floor but no more
Disappear  just as I was here guess the signal was poor
Everything around screams and I don't hear a sound
Nothing is found as nothing is lost as something goes around

In nothing you participate your fingers just twitterpate
Your looking underweight get some eggs with sodium nitrate
Instead of eating up drama an hate you a library of it au fait
Still no ideas or plans to fix **** just sit ******* your privates
Hashtags you post it, celebritys you cancel it, actions you dont do ****

Thats the way of the internet facades as thick as brocades
Your whole persona patent stolen read it off some cards
Copy pasted your fit its blatant obvious in your intent
Every word a dishonest bent not worth a cent
Dont got a shred of sense wont ever repent
Need the roleplay to supplement the lack of respect

Internet gangsters, keyboard warriors, fake woke supporters  
Plenty a arrogance, talk hard put out airs, tell everyone they inferior
Feign ignorance when it benefit but anothers mistake never forgotten
Take any stance all you are is happenstance you aren't anyone
Clone of whoever but only in fairweather never in the autumn

You kick at any who have fallin but ride when they ballin
At another **** you baptizin on the ground kneelin
Before anyone whose poppin your legs are droppin
Which one you feeling today whose personality you groping
which mask your morphine hit to keep you coping

Empty of whats real your life is revolting
Red pill, black pill, everyones a shill, its insulting
Hate leaves behind a shell empty and floating
No anchor fell lost in a sea of loathing

Its a lovely day, love the smell of ****** in the morning
Its all okay, dank copped in my palm every mornin
No more paydays everything's stopped but Im not mourning
Its another friday aint that somethin outside its pouring
Inside its smoking baking home-cooking

Homies and I all ready to die
Shorty said lets all get high
Sevenfourtyseven time to fly
No worries no more suit and tie
I like ta party not to pry

Its a lovely day, Love the view of Cali Palms in the morning
And its all okay, me and the crew on one since the mornin
Aint working anyway nothing to stop us we soaring
Its another friday aint that somethin a drink I'm pourin
Inside its smoking baking home-cooking

Party favors in designer flavors
Stop n savor on recliners
Pop life savers in  highwaters
Trashed proper I teeter totter
Smashed party rocker

Double shot of *** drink harder than a privateer  
Backwoods, blunt smokin like a famous rapper
Outta wraps roll with hunnids whole lotta paper
All outta drugs call the plug for more favors
All about a good time its all we're after

Homies and I all ready to die
Shorty said lets all get high
Sevenfourtyseven time to fly
No worries no more suit and tie
I like ta party not to pry

We're just kids at war with the gods
Prometheus's fire against the odds
Minimum wages, working at a loss
Burnt pages years of historys lost
Taught nothing over information they gloss
Comic how easy it is to mislead like stone toss
Red states uneducate so tell me whats the cost
Gerrymander why even participate its run by Faust
In the gutter liquor flows in better off gettin smashed
We getting sicker while kids in camps atleast they aint gassed
Cutting medicaid so a ceo gets paid as an employee is slashed
Living in a democracy so fashionable but whys the fit feel so fash
Dying to make the cash and the middle class they aint gonna last
Protesting the past we marching at last the reply is the whips lash
Wage slaving still a living, but now wages to make without class
Daddy hand me down jobs while Joe workers are called slobs
He told me the narratives administered the sedatives from tweets
Its not true just read wiki leaks even silenced the truth speaks
Quarantined for weeks I hear the system creak
Pressurized heres the heat matter of time till the crack
Said something got a rapsheet said somethin skulls cracked
They treat us like rats and got is in a corner backed
Surprised we bit back now their brains racked
Cause we out of line off track our minds plagued
Kings agreed with Tupac violence is their comeuppance
Peace failed so citys are sacked a conscience with no compliance
Leases pulled so streets are packed and tense to much to rinse
Hoses failed to clean unwashed masses so out come gasses
Pop eyes then spread lies leave bricks and break glass
Cops terrorize in front of your eyes you wait till resistance dies
Ropes noosed up to lynch ******* these days with some its okay
Draggin ******* across lots to some its no loss well okay
Spics taken by ice from jobsites its alright nod and say, okay
No suprise your homes alight drag your *** outside, okay
Self defense killin patriot americans its just justice so its okay
Your scared of us, well we're scared of the US all there is to say

Alarms off, barn chicken soundin warns sun risin
Warm in the kitchen, finger lickin greazy livin
Mournin in mornin, four am mind *******
Just in reporter on a camcorder record ya
Was untoward asking opinion on ya lord
Funny looking color like a funyun my answerin
whiny vision velour clothing,  demon spawn
When gone might pawn golf sets off lawns
In the end money tight even lint gone
Opinion bent left plant facin a light dawn
No prawns starving its lent living in a tent
Woes found working paying rent with money lent
Toes cold staying in boots, boldly saying let go
Cow bell ringing meat packaging on the blow
Flow swells bringing dead whales in undertow
Wont tell no snitches no tales how trust grow
Bows n ties oft means lives built on lies, so
Below tries most the honest living and dies
Boo hoo momma cries over a racist, my my
Here lies a body of a sexist marxist, no longer exist
Goodbyes in winds are ******, believed in lists
Why try when points missed, wished but unblessed
Covid coughs bless you, hands rinsed lead laced water
Void laughs in stints empty cans scraped and placed wherever
Devoid of soap stinky citys unclean even when precipitated
Dubois protests violently retchs wholehearted tenths participated
Soy and leeks replacing meat costs a whole check to be sated
Boys an chicks dancing feet lost to most fact is their elated
Whiskey sticky drink at meet an greets an bar posts

Its all one unknown, dead seeds sown
Born from broken homes, just how it goes
Some days swing low lotta bodys in the undertow
Beachside all alone down a bottle down I go
Into the tide to drown my woes

Look at the mirror knowin I could die here
Nothin held dear no one held me dear
Still have no fear cause one day I'll die here

And you know what just **** it
Everyone leave me alone you ******
Watch me ****** up never gave a ****
Down to the last bill keep it one hunnit

All I can afford is to think for a few
Shut off heater I'm a far too coo'l
Pills like water in US nothin new
Drugs choked down in us beautiful
Thrills looked down on by you

Beachside and the tide pulls at my feet
Wayside in no one I confide my piece
Wayward son put aside like a felon with rapsheet
The prize won is pride useless like a renters lease

Last hundred dollar bill might rob the till
In my head in this hood to live I might ****
Or be dead hollows spread blood on a windowsill
Suicidal addicted to lead, one bullet my fill

Left to rot I ferment sadness out the still
In picture caught lament my final still
I wonder about what it meant even still

Smoked a whole lotta gas but I've been on empty
Puff puff I don't pass cause I feel so ******* empty
Breath it in till its ash, I know this wont save me
Walked into the waves they crash I let it take me

Trick *** *** says I gotta go
Everyone is like woah, slow up
***** this is low and ****** up
Bounce on the home, should shut up
wants others to slide in like a nip tuck
***** a bother blindside with hardluck
Hit a ***** broadside with the left hook
It might hit a switch when her brain shook
Make Ms.***** **** woman the **** up

This isn't aspiration its ****** desperation
Whole life spent in dehydration an starvation
Bein real I don't even want salvation
Schizophrenic walls are talkin
Tell me I'm overdosing

**** it though atleast I'm feeling something
even if its suicidal atleast its something
Peak its oncoming then a crash landing
Minds changing its shifting
Uplifting but its shifting

I'm wishing on stars written in a few bars
Doing **** going too far endin up on mars
Engine aint working, smokin spittin out tar
Burn up in the atmosphere with no fear
Torn up by g force smackin the planets core

I'm watching myself die every day I just
Watch myself die, most my friends lost
Worry that today could be the last
Hope today might just be my last
Doesn't life move fast

Thought I was gonna be rich thought I was gonna be famous
I was just out of touch right now I'm just depressed
I miss her touch now my rooms a mess
I failed that much is clear if this is all a test
I'm under too much water waves I couldn't crest

Me and my friends will never be rich
Me and my friends doin drugs chasin a wish
**** aint life a ****** *****
Too many friends done switched
Stealin many ends watched me eat ****

****, every year feel like the final year
No ones ever here alone with my fear
Its cool even I don't care got an empty stare
So I guess abandonment was my fare
Tellin myself life just aint fair

Thief in love he gotta thick goth gf
Russian chick few days boutta be bff's
Rushin in, few months he's her bf
Lookin like future with her to his left

Passion burns, at a Kebab shop it starts
Thief done got robbed took his heart
Helen and Bob, Incredible its art
The young heart throb with a sweetheart

Soft flesh an brittle bones or solid steel with copper wire
Failing gristle, mushy brain or slick oil with combustion fire
Walkin legs overtaken when tarmac gets hit by tires
Eisenstein surpassed by a TI-84's processing power
Humans expire, a robots life can be forever
Mortal morals never bother a mechanical processor
The worlds owner could be either which would you rather

Thousand bullets a second call me Trigger-Tron
Heaters out can't cool it I'm on a ****** marathon
Wanted posters dead or alive the names Trigger, Tron
Rode off into sunsets with twin lead trails drawn

Saddle up go round an round I been outta town
Makin ghost towns when I do my rounds
Addled up go round for round then head outta town
Souls wander I put em in the lost an found

Money bags with the big $ just a lil' bank robbery
Heavy saddle bags ridin out with all I can carry
Money bags with the big $ just a lil' train robbery
Heavy saddle bags rode out with all I could carry

Thousand bullets a second they call me Trigger-Tron
Heaters on fire I ****** in marathons
Wanted posters out name on the bounty, Trigger-Tron
I ride into the sunset with twin lead trails drawn

The young Billy with the Iron "I'll make ya famous"
Rustlin jimmys sheriff and posse never catch us
Billy draws the big Iron "I'll make ya famous"
Rustlin Jimmys with the iron in *******

The sheriff and his posse after my bounty
If they wanna hound me I'm your huckleberry
Sheriff and posse, lotta bodys dead in the county
Fresh tombstones last count was about twenty

Hounds down like old yeller guns sure like to holler
Winds down at night retire the dual death dealers
Coyotes creep towards the fire start up a holler
From bush an ambush a few more dead 'fellers

Hands quicker than rattle snakes draw an fire
Leads flyin hills rattle an shake guess its war
Outlaws firin shells sounds like a two pair
My hands five aces four shots they fold for sure

Then I ride off into the sunset with twin lead trails drawn

Like police hound dogs diggin up dirt
Breakin ground, pigs investigatin perps
****** hands communicatin my flirtin
Death my mistress her fat *** flauntin
Backseat body of a rat with no brain
Plastic blanky keep out a ****** stain

No stressin cuz this is an insoluble coppers caper
The evidence insubstantial cause improbable no paper
Trails lead nowhere 21st century jack wheres the ripper
Case put to bed, outta here, Marth hit em with the tipper
Cold lead, cold case, acid laced body lie in lye face melter

Shadowy alleys Sirius Black disappear in dark smoke
In the valley all serious never laughs like a bad joke
Anotha body add to the tally dead how they woke
Harry with the kedavra another cadaver in my ice box
Somebody actin funny call me make a runny neck +

Crimes stackin Jack Sparrow with the dirt
Moses with the staff I make rivers part
Stiletto in hand now your kidney hurt
Cop car chasin in circles never closer, roundabout
Tooth fairy molar pullin to messy burned my shirt
Villain of the story big bad wolf eatin your heart

Through a portal, indigo swirls outta volcano
Erupts in Eyjafjallajökull lava flows to the core go
Down below rests angry god Quetzalcoatl
Rhymes on tap no bottle off they rattle
Like those southerner rattler snakes
Sheddin words better than dandruff flakes
Weddin phrases better than catholic Primates
Ancient titles dustier the desert around Euphrates
Files in piles get higher down comes a wire no waits
Paypal cash transfer launder from feds to white sheets
White washers in backwaters sponsored by red cysts
****** wishes in defeat losers too justice
Equal rights, they weep never wanted this
Protests against it in streets in the winds they ****
In Texas first in race to govern to oppress colors
Heaters out to greet ya like 'ello guv'nor
Deport you like a foreigner sent over Charons border
Memoir of the late lead hoarder aka bullet holster
Noir black and white gore at the scene of the ******
A disaster all over white plaster red drips faster
Turn brown oxidize on the alabaster

Who am I to wear a crown
Someone falling down
Rain its falling down
Soon it'll hit the ground
I've come unwound

On rooftops with a bottle of crown
Trying not to fall all the way down
Last drop falling and I drown
Ground rise up to smack me down
I've come unwound
Unbound so hear this sound

One parent only father raised without a *** to suckle
Dad did his best hammer raised knees buckled
Every night hammered drugged up and tired
He gave me life, he raised me, he failed me

Now twenty tabs in wired all night long
Need to sleep so I hit the ****
Need to live so do drugs then I'm gone
All my fake friends know I'm on one

No benz, two wheels across town
Back paths and alleys gone down
No smiles round here only a frown
I'll die afore I can afford a hospital gown

Twenty shots of costco gin
Broke the same as broken
Soon to be in the trash bin
So I turn to crime again

Dealin like part time workin
Flippin like life is dependin
Profitin off others addiction
Is this really livin

Gotta get outta these places I been in
Aint any place for me to die in
Aint even got a place I'm buyin
Just rentin a slum ****** apartment

I can't exhale breath it all in
I've failed and I'm chokin
Lost and no ones looking

Ghost amongst smoke
Laughing without a joke
Smoke drags in till I croak

Do anything just to smile
Its been a ******* while
Its been the longest mile

Wasted I love it
My life spent wasted
Wasted my times spent

Show up at the party I'm already wasted
Day I was born my life was wasted
Roll it up, drop it down, pour it up lets get wasted

I can't exhale choked caps down
I'm the plug its all home grown
Dead head, death caps, did a pound

Did it all, ****** with Lucy and Mary
Memory hazy, eyes lazy, nothin phase me
Colors shifty on the nightly shine brightly

I've died on the daily does anyone feel me
I don't know but lately leaf comes freely
Acidy melty its unsightly really die nightly

Maybe I want it to take me
After that don't know where I'll be
Not here and unhappy, maybe

We in the gulag
Warm fires we burnin our god
So sit and chill dog

Heat waves shimmer every winters dimmer
But summer is an oncomer heat waves for the sinners
Shimmer for all the winners losers lost in the winter
Heatwaves they shimmer over the river
Here I shiver and I feel it in my liver
Heatwaves in my liver while I think about livin here
Winter draw nearer cold shivers an wood splinters
Another heatwave another summer another winter
Sit and shimmer if your a winner
I sit and shiver away the summer
Never ever shimmer lost in the river
Flowin in deep water I teeter totter
Falter heat waves in my liver
In the middle of winter
Always wanted to sit and shimmer in the summer
Be like those winners like stop and shimmer in the mirror
But in water life go where it go always forward never clearer
Never fair without care about who or where waves in layers
Everyone a player some losers some winners all those sinners
Come winter all shiver but not all shimmer not all star chasers
Seein farther than father or how I got here visions clearer
Seers in the shimmer life livers who go farther than their father
While others sit and shiver in winter thinking about dinner
Some summer I'm gonna shimmer like just look at him in the mirror

Body pacing while my heads racing
Anger surfacing replaced by euphoric feeling
Thoughts are tangling each dropping like its raining
A thought falling then pooling till they hit the ceiling

What am I feeling, something different than moments ago
Am I happy, sappy, mad maybe I just cant tell I dont know
All I know is feeling are crashing and I'm caught in the undertow
Electricity grabbed me, body pulsing it won't let go

All I can do is sit and wait as every cell vibrates
Wait for time to make it all turn quiet
Patience while everything in me riots
Silence while screaming have to try it

Bullet proof vests to go to school
Future is full of automatic tools
Streets got kids played like fools
And killers enforce the rules
While kings collect gold coins and jewels

War machines grind youth into years
Watch grown men get juiced for tears
Death in the mirror closer than she appears
Meanwhile and idle fool tries to keep his cheer
Its out of fear as his lover she draws near

Masks on in public no longer metaphoric
Ignore the pandemic you'll still catch it
Faceless claims made baseless face it  
Maskless heartless degenerates
They got an epidural so they cant feel ****

**** with negligence while pleading allegiance
Twenty twenty decade of the convergence
Some say year of the divergence
Glaciers lurk below the Dow index
the Titanic awash in market resurgence

Oh woe is me woe is me, woe is they
We won is what the slow in the head say
Cause we're all sitting in Pompeii
Don't matter if your candidate won yesterday
We all gonna be toe tagging today  

Whatchu you know about management, a delegate, a canidate
What your told what you heard its ****** sad isn't it
Don't know about Gadaffi, Benghazi, just emails from Hilary
Their propaganda prattle blaming the soup kitchen ladles
Act like cattle and they got you saddled and addled

Something in the water get caught and you'll drown
Just bought a bottle and we're all headed down
Doesn't matter if you drop out or got a cap and gown
Bitter but feel better after a night out on the town
Go getters and quitters all buried under this ground

Its the future and the time flows like mercury
Retrograde, retrowave, means lost in nostalgia
All composure in present is from more *****

Citys alight at night fires burn brighter futures lookin brighter
Ash and blight fills our sight screams and sirens get louder  
Crash incoming cant see obstacles incoming hit the powder
Blast off explosions turn projects to dust and mortar
As it settles to coals after pyrotechnics a moment is quieter

Regain composure in the present with more *****
The future is a toxin and it flows like mercury
Look back retrograde, retrowave, lost in nostalgia

Details weigh heavy in the air we breathin  
Deceit flys every way as broadcast speakin
Repeats leak in many lungs as they breath it in
Doors open and now the thieves are in
Laws broken and the people are misbegotten

Obsessed with retrograde, retrowave nostalgia
Losin composure theres never enough *****
Toxins flow in, time flows out, its like mercury

The earths baked and the landmass disappears with snowflakes
Hearts been staked in class learned we're all soon to die its fate
Parts they break and these are the last as fear grows it gets late
Charts talkin they doomsay, hearsay, naysay, scream mayday
Just wanna say its gonna be okay, but I won't lie not today

All the things I've survived
Demons, beasts, fiends
Skinwalkers whom I complied
Get on with friends

Get on with anyone, anything
Diseased minds tell me lies
Listen as time is festering
Eating away their lives

They claim godhood expect worship
I stand in mock appreciation
They see my smile and see worship
A smirk hiding condemnation

I laugh and smile commiserate with a devil
They think it's with them but it's at them
Slowly they realize I'm not on their level
When for help to me they come

I turn them to their sins and crimes
As I refuse them even the smallest crumbs
I've seen better men beg for dimes
So I lack pity I will not be a crutch

I'm dyin inside listening to dead outside
Husks without things clutching dreams
Always in me do they choose to confide
Noone else will listen noone cares

Even they don't care for what they say
Still they talk and talk trying to be okay
No one will sway to the sound they make
Still I listen just in case that's all it'll take

Hope they shed their horns and fangs
Become men once more through the pain
Can't do more or risk losing skin of mine
So I listen while they fester with the time

Dark streets at midnight Not a soul in sight
Wander by streetlight, light up a spliff for the trip
Wander in shadows closing in as they follow
Wander into shadow fade as they swallow

Another night shift done another night gone
Sleeping in fits straight on through dawn
Wake up and bake then I'm gone

The walls dance on the hillside
Claws pull from fester tides
Unease in tall knives
Grass and tall lies
Underfoot the fall lies

Shaky walkways over the abyss
In the middle idle and gaze
Watch as the bridge sways
Look up and see idle days
Am I crazed or am I unphased

Feels like I could just slip into the abyss
Fall and leave behind all the fleeting nothingness
But I'd hate for others to feel amiss
If I were to be missed
So I sway and make lists

Lists about why I am so listless
Maybe cause I sleep in fits
Or cause nothing really fits
Is it cause everyone's sick
Is it cause no one'll ride my ****

The devil resides in my mental state
Where lust and wrath own real estate
Greed and envy are my fate
Sloth is why I'm always late
My pride allows them to stay

Devils in the details, devils in my failures
What does that entail for a being of years
In the entrails read a future filled with tears
Dangerous trails are predicted by seers
Death on the pale predicted by my fears

Still believed to have a few years staring at the abyss
More years to wile away with my shaky hands and lists
When the bridge collapse and I can say this is it
I'll say cheers right before the ground rises and hits
As I relapse in my personal apocalypse

If I had a crown I would have them all worship me
Every child born free at the price of fealty
Imagine single mindedness in law in propaganda on TV
And if they don't agree then they must be the enemy
If the world was mine then they would be trespassers
So deport them from my reality no time for dissenters
Excess and charity will make them ignore their lost family
If they choose to rise against me then we can all die with me
All your lives on my property and I'll evict them all to vagrantry
When they question if their free answer simply, free to swear fealty
Do as you please as it pleases me and I'll give you silk fetters
Even allow you to speak freely as long as you live to my letters
Allow arms to all if only they are to safeguard from the enemy
Give alms to the poor if only they are to serve me
Allow any godly sanctity that encourages support of me
All the power to me, all the control to me, all of society under me

Blood on my hands and the dead are risen
I can see black smoke off of the west horizon
My hearts on the line, my heads in prison
Now I'm doin time and the bars are crying

Fires are far away but the rains on me
The sky is hazy with heavy lies
With every line a few more fly
With every line another man fries

Dead friends, dead family, and dead faith
Wanna say don't give up, but its not my place
Wanna say just get up, but its not my place
My place is with dead blood and dead belief

Razor lines on glass tables
Dead kids in dark fables
Eyes are jaded, head is faded
But drugs make me elated

Fill the liver with  joy
Treat a life like its a toy
Wind it up and watch gears crunch
Couple keys of the green og kush

Smokin one while my brothers get rubbed out
Wonder if they'll ever let my uncle out
I hope not, If they do I'll cut his lights out
Blood is thicker than water now whats that about

The blood pumps down storm drains on a sunny day
And water is thick with lead and iron now we all gonna pay
Cause we all have debts in Iron, debts in blood, its collection day
The well is dry but bloods pumpin in our veins, we gotta pay

The dead take their due for the debts they accrue
Sins of my father found me and now I'm through
Riddled by addiction and collection through and through
Here comes the toll and the funds are looking few

What can you do we all got debts collecting on our hearts
Time for the bloodletting bleed out till debt finally parts
All we can do is suffer and accrue, wail and lament
Its how life collects its payment

It goes and I think about it
Life drags on and on
It'll be okay we're all dyin
Stitch together all the lyin

But the seams are busting
Maybe its how I was raised
Lusting after greener days
Drinking away darker memory

Lonely, broken, always hoping
Filthy, chokin, and coping
Smog in the sky watching birds die
Working as the people cry

Across a pond watch as they drop bombs
Dead kids, kids with guns, now its gone
Channel flipped and its in our homes
More dead kids, kids with guns, at our homes

Teenage rebels with a cause get the belt
Label them delinquent or maybe life the sentence
Tell them they'll grow out of it
Unsaid is the "or else" unsaid is the threat

Adults work as gears and cogs
Adults work until tears and rust
Act with servitude act as a dog
Or be put own like one as is just

We are the oppressed until we aren't
We are the oppressors until we can't
A revolution of successors to a power
They wield it as did their forefathers

Evil of the poor given power a fearful thought
Do well to domineer and control their thought
And if they disobey beat them till they obey
Or have your head removed as they take your thought

Evil of the rich holding power a fact of life
Still even the rich and powerful fear your knife
Still a beating heart and a body dies as is life
Still the heart of society and you take its life

Its body yours to contort and break
Do you think it better for you to take
Will you be able to handle its stakes
Will you become rich as the poor heartbreaks

Here I am, doing fine again
Where I am, burning down again

In the ashes I found my friend
Gave me warmth he would lend

Now alone, here I am
Cold as stone, where I am

Look at what we've done
Through whispers lost in confidence
Contemplate with the gun
Cause here it comes
Its all coming undone
All is lost and none is won

Machines of steel and estates
Grindstones sharpen the state
And dust is our fate
As of late
She hardly wakes
To sirens over the lake

Who poisoned the well
With liquor and bubbly swell
In the noon we drank swill
And in the morn we fell
None left that can tell
Who slipped the pill

I guess this is it
While children throw a fit
We already left
To enjoy the remnant
Drowsy from death time to light
Set it all alight

A funeral for the future
Make-up and sutures
A body in its sepulcher
Pay respect to who we ******
All respect to our sole benefactor
Cry and lie aren't we great actors

Academia can *******
Had to learn trig to pass
A test pre req for a class

That algebra is all that needs to be known
Intro chem is not a place for tan, cos, and sin
Yet I had to learn and teach it all on my own

After Doing the teaching and learning
They came around and started charging
Hundreds and thousands for nothing

So academia can *******
Had to learn calc to pass
A test pre req for a class

Do your ******* job teach me how to get a job
These administrators are just some ******* slobs
Paid three hundred grand to play with their knobs

If the systems broken fix it or at least override it
Instead you support it while students go into debt
How the **** do you run at a deficit and yet

You take every sweaty blood stained penny
Shake down every downtrodden who looks sorry
Sorry that college was the only choice outta poverty

Academia can eat my ******* ***
Didn't learn **** but I'll still pass
Cause they don't teach **** in the class

Life's been let down after let down
The highs are come down after come down
I stand in place sun up and sun down
Drinking and partying around town
With my constant frown
I wear a whiskey crown
Clarity is the same as misery
So come here commiserate with me
Passed back and forth a bottle of Hennessy
Crying tears of liquid LSD
Shaking from the DT's
First hit I ever took was a freebee
Filled me up and left me empty
My brain aches and my body is sweaty
Sticky and failing grasp for that comfort
Even while I stand in squalor
I toast to every single new year
Down my throat goes another beer
As I careen towards a ******* career
I feel depression and a drugged up cheer
Liquid LSD comes out in tears
DT's and shakes make some fear
But I know none myself, in my town
With a whisky crown and a frown
Everyday sun up and every let down

Trippin and feelin, cripplin depression
Ugly complexion, sippin at concessions
Say its to cope with depression and oppression
But its hedonism and gratification
Basic ******* in lieu of connection
****** with no protection
My life needs an abortion
Get a portion spent without caution
Psylocybin and tax evasion
******* with no correction
Cocktails a fusion that cause confusion
Light concussion drinking white russians
Blurry vision a small contusion
Another forgotten session of confessions
Never learned my own lessons
Can't count my own blessings
Just count the shell casings
Bullets spent on the killings
Dead children for coffin stuffing
Dead presidents for coffer filling
Written off on tax filings
Tax credits for our kings
And all golden things
While I choke from the chains
Broke from bills and pain
A joke before it starts to rain
Work and you will gain
Sweat out your pores till it stains
Sticky and wet in your rusty red chains
Iron oxide is in your veins
And its locked you up in your brain
I came into a world of novacaine
Daddy addicted to release from pain
For every pill of joy he gained
I lost a little of the one from who I was named
And when the time came I left him behind
One of the many times I have sinned
Watched my flesh grow dead and strained
Till I could watch no more as he changed
Now I trip and feel a cripplin depression
My ugly complexion matchin a ugly confession
A dead dad left to his depression under oppression
Hidden in hedonism and gratification
Constant ******* without a connection
Cuz he ****** without protection
I wish I was chosen for an abortion
Blurry vision from all the drinking
Anything that isn't thinking
This is just another session of my confessions
Which I will learn none of the lessons
Soon to be forgotten
Lost in dead in all the oppression
Focus in on so much corruption
Never look at my own problems
Or my own solutions
I watch my own flesh grow dead and strained

Depending on my addictions for some purpose
Lifeless without it lost conviction and focus
Burn resin and scrape glass live to the fullest
Madness is manic, uppers to heaven to be blessed

Conceit lets me do as I please, find pleasure find release
Deplete my mania, A choir singing to my pulse
Love and passion ringing within a erratic beat
Sorrow leaks from lesions as my flesh lets loose

I can't see I have lost my sight along with my rights
These chains are holding me tight makes me feel alright
In my brain is a cage with a prisoner who says hes a sage
Wonders why hes caged, but I see in his eyes hateful rage

I am just a product of the chemicals I take
Defective product who will barely wake
It doesn't make only here for its own sake
A cheap product that is soon to break

But faulty as I may be the drugs make me feel alright
The smoke in my lungs pulls me through the long night
Even when it chokes me It make me feel less lonely
I know its not really healthy but the choice is mine solely

I have given in to it fully this folly it makes me happy
Makes my cold heart feel sappy a state I want to be
How long since I felt it naturally, years ago maybe
Its just a distant memory that warmth coming to me

Used to throw myself into fiction but story's never saved me
Now I give myself to addiction cause hero's are all  2-D
My brain needs the correction and all it cost me was a small fee
A piece of my mind, piece of my time, piece of my sanity

Then I'm Free

Freedom of speech is only ever true
If no one is listening to you
Watch what you say you can disappear too

Methods of my confessions
Rhymes and simple expressions

Sometimes I look in someone's eyes and see the blue-collar
Someone empty-eyed with flagging pride and sickly pallor

From too many night shifts no sun in his life
Many nights thinking on being a waste of life

Recognized from countless mirrors
A visage that draws ever nearer

Fear in shadows of the mind
Nothing in the eyes to find

Nothing to impart
Not a single spark

Walking ghost
A empty host

A systemic epidemic amid the pandemic
Shots off at capitol hill and alls a panic
Forensics takes money from the shooter
Proclaims the victim to be a looter

Throw lives away like trash on the block
Take poor lives at their sides a Glock
Stocks soar, Deaths soar, **** just our luck
**** on tour at mast is the patriots ****

Peace an option until they grabbed their piece
Take the lease call your tab a life will cease
Six six six its the nature of the beast
Money, greed, and avarice

All they want is every slice of prosperity
They flaunt a salary a workless propriety
Makers, producers, and workers in poverty
Still, they will rule with iron sovereignty  

This goes on for four more I'm going on a tour
Camp on a grassy knoll taking shots of Cuervo
Not enough to throw off my aim though
My contribution is to the body flow

That's just how war goes, no justice no peace
Just taking justice away with a piece
When I feel a debt is to me I pull the lease
And I feel what is owed to me is some peace

That'll never happen till all my friends can eat
I may die in a miserable cell in complete defeat
At least my skin won't be fleece won't be meat
For wolves to eat I'll be a man crushed underfeet

Funny we still fight confederate beliefs
More like fight the degenerate beliefs
Of the weak and the meek thieves
Stealing rights and lives for conceit

Liberty or death is the creed of our founders
Yet when liberty is stolen everyone just flounders
Death is the only retort to fascist panderers
Tired of all this fake comfort as a ponderer

The answer soon to be immutable one last stopper
That can permute this course as the only offer
An election of a conqueror or a molester
Choice between a beast and death or a monster

One mimics ein fuhrer  the other will fester
So whats best here civil war or uncle Chester
Months until the toll bell calls on her electors
To choose hell or tepid **** to quell the defectors

Never got to be a child had to be the man
Age nine and I was the only one that gave a ****
So ****** I handle my **** the best I can
Cause nothins been free except for dyin
So I've been cheatin, stealin, and lyin
Since I was a youngun its been survival
To charm and lie see everyone as a rival
In a game where its death if you get tabled
I ran the cards with sharks, waters chummed
Everyone smells blood so my hearts stone
It don't pump red it sits empty in the bone
I will never atone for what I've done
But I'll live to see the sun

A pack of monkeys throwing stones
Tribes of savages turn each other to bones
Gunpowder wizards usurp the world's throne
Imperial nations elevate off mass graves and wars won

Every face the same humans revealed their nature
Bared fangs base things and ******* masks hide a future
Monstrous acts with a spot of tea, putrid culture
Secede across the sea, manifest genocide and scalpers

Oh the humanity, where we swear fealty
To any who can make the biggest red sea
Sanity is subjective and as far as I can see
No animal will ever act logically

I've inflicted pain and I called down the rains
I did it in the name of the cause that I claim
So why do you exist, why do you do the same?
Everyone is the same we all have a cause to claim

Will we ever evolve past this point of no return
How do you teach a people who cannot learn
Truly this world is what humanity has earned
Blood and ash that won't last we all get our turn

3 missed calls sorry for never calling back
But I'm just the worst ghost in your past
I haunt those that loved me before I crashed

Am I dead to you yet?
I still remember when I held you as you wept
I remember crying about you when I slept

I don't have a reason to exist
My life is just broken promises
Broken dreams, broken things I list