I'm a seasonal *****,
A bit of a witch,
An emotional sucker
I'm predictable as the weather
And I wish we were together

(Because every winter and spring I'm sad again,
And on a high all through summer.
Fall I like to cuddle up,
And admit I liked your place better.
Looking for someone to nest with
Anyone to last.
But when the weather falls I'll be depressed,
And by next June it all will pass)

A feather drops, center stage.
I'm of a mind, to misbehave.
I put on that dress, and I start up a song...
It's no mystery, what we've known all along.
Because alone in my room, when we dance,
I'm not interested in arguing about the past
And it's one step, and then two,
And if there were many eyes in the room, they would all be on you...
But I'm here, and you there, and the steps feel like magic,
Gliding on air, glitter hair, when we move real slow,
I think you already know
That hearts will melt and doors will open,
With everything that, can't be spoken
And winding down, those last notes
With everything my hands have wrote,
Shining and smiling, glittering alone
Panting as I stand, holding a pose, arms open
Where you were in them, when we took up the dance
If you knew how to make use of an opening, to take that chance
Here I am when the stage lights fall, when the ballroom empties and the night runs wild
Laughing into a fantasy, and starting the song up again
So we can dance again, like we would then,
a feather drops and all is forgotten.

Eclectic songs from foreign lands, spiritual and wild
Are his voice,
And he is nature and attention with behavior as the river flows,
He loves as a buck and carves as a woodsman,
A home and a hearth to heat.

His eyes betray the ghost of eyes I knew before,
But I do not know their story, only
That it puts me at ease in his front seat.

Exhilaration in the act of climbing again,
In sitting on the riverbed naked, fed grapes by artful fingers.
Wonder in the sunbeams shifting through the trees
Awe in the act of a kiss, and
Comfort in a beer and a drag and the warmth he has
to offer.

Were I the primordial force I would claim to be,
I would take his hand and bid him to come away with me
To live in the woods and love by the water.

I haven't got money,
I haven't got time,
No I haven't a second,
I haven't a dime.

And I don't need to be rich,
Only wanted a poor man's love,
No prince to save me, I ain't need saving
Since the day I put on my first mask

Now I'm walking away again
And you can mourn the loss this is-
What you asked for, and I
Aim to please

But please me best,
I am not wild, for this is not a war
I'm just me. This is just living.
So here I am, living.

Lost in the waves again. Goodbye for now.

I lost the 10lbs I wanted to.
I'm at a healthy BMI.
I don't starve myself, I've lucky genetics
I work hard, I exercise on days off.

But now I want to be 115lbs, beautiful,
With a voice like Karen Carpenter,
And a heart as careless as the weather
I want to work hard to understand the long hours my ex worked,
Though my mom reminds me she worked much harder, longer hours, 16 to my 12.
I want to be as exciting and vapid and beautiful as the girls you like
Though that's not why you don't want me, and I'll never be
As beautiful as they.
I want to be as capable and desirable as others would have had me be
In order to have kept me,
When they never would have wanted to keep me anyway.
I want me to be everything they wanted me to be because
The reality that they just didn't want me is too heartbreaking
And my heart's too broken to keep living with rejection for just being me.
So I'll keep wasting away until I'm so thin and perfect I just slip out
Of existence.

I'll never let myself be held soft again,
These shattered slivers of my heart won't glow again
But I'm learning to be happy with the welts from when they shone so bright,
I only want to make it past another night

And maybe in the spring you can find me in the Ocean,
Collecting seashells and singing with the waves,
I'll be a fishwife and my father will take me home,
That moon over the water, murmuring to me low

But I won't say goodbye, not in the end
You don't know my plans, they're cemented in my head
And I'll put our record on when I drive into the dark
Because it's peaceful in the quiet, in the headlights I can
Remember how I used to spark

Until then, please remain,
My precious friend.