and sometimes

my lack of belief
hurts me

but sometimes

my lack of belief
heals me

isn’t that how
everything is

Sleep is an escape
To pass up the painful past
To forget the frightful future
Yet, here I lay,
With darkness enveloping me,
With thoughts roaring in my ears like thunder
Small but an abundance, like rain
The ray of sunlight slowly erased the stars
And I awoke
Without an ounce of sleep.

She remembered back
to when you called her princess.
She couldn’t help but cringe
at the deep voice in her mind,
and her skin crawled
in all the places you used to touch her.
She could still feel
your selfish hands
feeling up her skin
like a lion to its prey.
She is haunted every night
by the way you carved your name
into her neck with your hot breath.
Of course she still remembered
every place you touched her,
And now she hated the dark
because of the things
it let you do to her.
So answer to her,
answer to me,
Was it really not her fault?

you were
number 2

and never
wanted to

be number 1
you were

the perfect
shape for

my hand

the perfect
color for

my eyes

my perfect
day was

when you
were sharp

and didn’t
break

god I
miss you