how could he do this
how could god do this
is there even a god
how could he do everything to me
why me
why did it have to be me to bear all this pain
get one taken from you
and another one get buried six feet
why did it have to be me to go through everything
why did it have to be me to have no talents
why me
why was i chosen to be like this
why do i have to watch everyone live my dreams
why do i have to watch everyone love someone while i’m forced to sit back
why couldnt i be given something
something good
anything
besides this pain.

I’ve already missed out
on so much
on being a brother
because if one person
who couldn’t see what they were doing
why would you rip apart a family like that
you’re the judge
but it seems like you didn’t judge hard enough
and because of you
my book
my story
my life
went down hill
and now
i have neither of my sisters
to laugh with or
to talk to
because of one
person

What’s my purpose
why am i here
what am i supposed to do
what am i supposed to accomplish
she was good at everything
everything
and me?
i guess you could say
i’m good at
breathing?
why was i brought here
what am i supposed to do with my life

Life
its the greatest risk we can take
one moment you could be having the time of your life
the next?
you lie in a pool of blood

I dont love you anymore


and that was the last i heard of him

I miss that feeing
that feeling of joy
with you
i wish i wouldn’t have taken it for granted
I miss that feeling
the feeling of us
together
I miss that feeling
the feeling of nothing
not having worries
I miss that feeling
the feeling of taking it for granted
being there with you
I miss that feeling
the feeling of you
you and me
I miss that feeling
i miss that smile
your smile
I miss that feeling
the feeling of-
of you
and I wish I didn’t take it for granted

Not again
why do you have to make me feel this way
why do you have to make me laugh
why do you have to make me scared
again

why do i still fall for you
over and over
even though
i know you don’t feel the same

Seriously?
it’s like a game
that my heart forces me to play
and makes me feel the pain

of you

i want to be able to be held
by someone i love
i want to be with
someone i love
i want to laugh
with someone i love
i want to cuddle
with someone i love
i want to feel alive
with someone i love
i want to have
someone
someone to be with
someone to love
someone to adore
someone to make me laugh
i want someone

no one else can make me smile as much as you is it not obvious enough
or do i just not do the same. you are able to
light up a room can you not see that
all i see is you
nothing else, just you.

can you not see it?
can you not see how much you make me smile
can you not see how i light up when you are near
can you not see how much you make me laugh
can you not see how much i love being around you
can you not see how obvious the signs are

are they not obvious enough
are they coming off as too much

or am I
just not good enough

what am I doing wrong
do I not make you smile enough
do I not make you happy enough
do I not listen enough

am i not good enough
am i doing something wrong
am i not pretty enough?

am I just not good enough

a hole
lays deep in me
deep into my heart
that hole takes a part of me
everyday
That hole eats at me
it makes me wonder
why.
That hole slowly swallows me
and takes me to my darkest places
That hole destroys me
and makes me shed tears
That hole will forever be in me
and not even time can heal it

That hole's name?

grief

One cold day
death stopped by
he wasnt here for me, I could tell
but instead
took someone I love
he took someone away from me forever
with just a snap of his fingers
She was gone

Die for what you are
die for what you love
die for Who you love
die doing what you love
die being Who you love

and live for it
live for Who you love
live for what you love
live doing what you love
live being what you love

Find what youd die for, and Live for it.

it hurts
when your other half
lives across the country
the one you do everything with
*would do
the one that completes you
that makes your darkest days the brightest
within seconds
it hurts
when your best friend
lives thousands of miles away
the one that makes you cry
tears of joy
and pain when you without them
the one that can see past your broken parts
that can heal you in an instant
it hurts
when you cant see the only person
who makes you so happy
that you might just die.

I praise every woman and person of color
they have worked their way to their rights
shed blood
wars
and are still fighting for hundreds of years
and have come so far
i could never
i mean seriously
people have died
and fought for their rights
and STILL
they haven’t earned respect?
*******
maybe it’s time for people to grow up
and treat EVERYONE with respect
be an adult
smh
a fifteen year old is doing more than anyone over the age of 19 has ever done in years

You only live once
you only get one chance
to do what scares you
so ask him
take a chance
make the jump
you only get one chance
to do what you believe
to stand up
so use your voice
make it right
you only get one chance
to do what you love
to feel the fun
to create
so do it
you only get one chance
to be yourself
so be you
don’t let anyone say anything else
so be true
you only get one chance
to find them
so take the time
don’t let anything stop you
you have one chance
to do it all
so don’t waste time
tell them you love them
ask them the question
find the one
make what you want
be who you want
and live

if you want to have an abortion
then have it
dont let anyone say otherwise
it’s you’re body
do what you want with yourself
its nobody’s choice but yours

you can’t say it’s wrong
you can’t say it’s bad
if you’ve never been through it
you can’t have a valid opinion
until you’ve experienced it
so stop judging women
if you can’t understand it

what would you choose

dying first
to simply not have to live through the cruelty but let your family suffer through the pain?

yes? you’re selfish.  

or
watching your family die
not letting them to live the joy of their lives and putting them through emence pain but ending their misery and you go through the pain but get to enjoy the world

it feels different
everything does
nothings as special
birthdays now just a day where you get older
christmas now just like any other holiday
it’s colder
the world is harsh
people are bitter
the earth is dying
everyone else also growing up
people getting more sad
other swallowed by darkness and death
shootings everywhere
no one paying attention to the real problems
hatred is becoming more present
everyone blinded by politics
and the politicians are corrupt

A hug
A smile
Even being noticed
Would be nice

When you woke up
You asked for her
You wanted her to be there
And so did we
You told us to call her
But we couldn’t
And all of the pain resurfaced

I miss you
and i didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye
I thought I’d seen you again
I hope when it’s my turn I’ve changed the world
And no one else goes through your pain
I hope I get to see you again someday


I love you
I miss you.

You make me smile
You make me laugh  
You make me nervous


You bring me joy

You're the final puzzle piece
You’re the music to my dance
You’re  the final ingredient
You’re the final brick to my building
You’re the final lyric to my song

You Complete Me

I wish I could go back in time
redo everything
maybe you’d still be alive
if only I knew what would happen
i wish I could’ve fought harder
but now i have a purpose
i’ll make sure nobody else has to go through this
Ever.

You’re no good for me

you keep me up at night

You’re no good for me

you make me cry

You’re no good for me

you make me think too much

You’re no good for me

you make my heart stop

You’re no good for me

you get my hopes up

You’re no good for me

i wish i could change
that wouldn’t be so bad
maybe id have more friends
have more fun
maybe id finally be happy

maybe then youd finally talk to me
maybe then we could be friends
maybe then id be happy again

I Wish I Could Change

Your smile lights up a room
Your laugh is contagious
You make my day
I always look forward to seeing you
Even though you don’t know it
It’s true
And I wish I could talk to you all the time

I remember your face as if it was yesterday
When really
It was months ago
And you were in a casket

I wish I could’ve hugged you one last time
Knowing
I’d never see you again

Sometimes I wish I could die
End it all
End my misery
Would anyone care?
Then I realize everyone dying around me
So i must have a reason for being alive
Right?

I had to leave once again
I wish I didn’t
But at least I saw you
I got to hug you
Laugh with you
Create more inside jokes
Play with you
But most of all
Make more memories with you

When I heard the news
I was so happy
I was cured of the blues
I am finally able to see you
We get to do so much
Together
I’m so excited
To see you
After all this time
Of waiting

The black night sky
Filled with stars
Up so high
A planet is seen from afar

a distant void
engulfing everything
in its reach

You saved me
You kept me close
You raised me
You took me in
You feed me
You were there for me
You gave me a family
You gave me life
You helped me with school
You made me who I am today

You are my savior

I wish I was you
I envy you
Your talent
Your gift
Your amazing voice
Your fame
I wish I was you

Thousands of miles away
And finally
I may get to see you again

Thousands of miles away
And finally
I may get to hug you again

Thousands of miles away
And finally
I may get to talk to you again

Thousands of miles away
And finally
I may get to laugh with you again


Finally

You ruined me
You messed with me
You almost killed me
You tried to hide me
You stole my family
You didn’t care for me
You ruined me

No one ever asks
Are YOU ok
And when they do
I put on a mask
I hide my true feelings
To make them happy
To make it go away
They don’t see through it

They complain about their problems
They think they have it bad
But they don’t know true pain
They don’t understand
They don’t know how good they have it
They don’t know the pain they cause

They don’t know true sadness
They don’t know true pain

I put on a mask
I hide true self
I hide my flaws
I try to be perfect
I try to be average
I try to be like everyone else

I have no talents
I can’t do anything
I have no talents

I hear everyone getting compliments
I hear how everyone has it perfect
I act like I have it perfect
But they don’t see the mask I’m wearing

I don’t complain about how bad I have it
I just hide
I hide my pain
I hide my true self
I hide my flaws

I don’t have fun
I don’t have fun doing what I love
I can’t do what I love
I’m bad at everything

I wait for another like me
While I watch others with someone like them

I wait for me person to come
I wait for my “true love”
While I watch everyone else
With their love

I put on a mask
Acting like I’m happy
Acting like everyone else
Acting like I don’t hear them talking about me
Acting like their comment don’t hurt
Acting happy

While everyone else has it perfect
True happiness
What does that mean
Will I ever have it
Or will I just always wear a mask

I wear it to hide myself
To make everyone happy
Because they won’t worry about me
But why would they
  


•happiness•



<sadness>



They just dont understand my pain.

I wish I was cool
I wish I was popular
I wish I was missed

I wish people wanted me
I wish people cared for me
I wish people liked me

I wish I was loved
I wish I was wanted
I wish I was liked

I wish people thought about me
I wish people knew about me
I wish people talked to me

I wish people knew I existed

i sit there and imagine
if anyone would notice
if I was gone

and i imagine
the world without me

i try to think of a reason
to stay
a purpose for me

i sit there and imagine
if anyone would even care
if i was gone

i try to think of a reason
for me to stay alive
if i will ever make an impact

i sit there and imagine
if anyone would help
if i needed it

i try to think of a reason
for life
but it seems I have writers block

i sit there and imagine
if anyone loves me
if anyone would ever

It seems I can’t think
of a reason to stay
next thing I know
The tile is stained red

i want you
and it kills me to know
you don’t want me  

i watch you as you smile
with your friends
wishing i could smile with you

i wish you wanted me
and it kills me to know
you don’t wish for me

i watch you being you
wishing i could be
with you

i want to be with you
and it kills me to know
you don’t want me

you stole my heart
if only I could steal yours
then maybe just maybe
you would be mine

if only...

I wish I could see you
once again
I wish I could hear your voice
once again
I wish I could play with you
once again
I wish I could joke with you
once again

I still remember your laugh
I still remember your cheer
I still remember your music
I still remember your joy

I would give anything to go through the ups and downs
I would give anything to have another day with you
I would give anything to hear your voice again
I would give anything to see your smile again

I will forever remember you
You will forever be in my heart

I wish I had the guts
To tell you how I feel
I wish I had the nerve
To  ask you how you felt
I wish I had the guts
To talk to you
I wish I had the nerve
To ask you five words

Five words everyone fears

I wish I had the nerve to ask you

“Will You Go Out With Me?”

I miss you
I miss your smile
I miss your laughter
I miss your jokes
I miss you

I miss you
I miss your obsession with pll
I miss your obsession with Grayson
I miss your obsession with the kardasims
I miss you

I miss you

I miss you

Imagine a world
Where people went to a mirror and said
“Wow I’m beautiful”
Instead of
“I’m ugly”

Imagine a world
Where people talked
Instead of
Declaring war or fights

Imagine a world
Where equality exists
Instead of
Hate

Can’t?
Me either
Make this imagination
Come true