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271 · Aug 2020
What I Hide
ChillNPsyco Aug 2020
My blood I willingly spill onto the page
It takes the form of words to engage
A written expression of my life's insanity
It exposes my darkest truths for all to see
Unwilling to admit it's existence to myself
Darkest of thoughts I place upon a shelf
Behind my smile I've concealed this reality
I fear the possibility of my broken mentality
Would others not think this to be true
If asked for help what would they do
It goes unnoticed each time I reach out
That someone cares I begin to doubt
Hope I once held slowly fades away
Deeper into this depression I fall each day
Why does no one care enough to see
The emptiness I've hidden is killing me
Someone to talk with I have not found
Paper now keeps me mentally sound
With pen in hand I have learned to speak
In poetry I have a voice that's unique

ChillNPsyco
Its about dealing with my depression and finding, through poetry, a positive outlet for my suicidal thoughts.
188 · Aug 2020
ABANDONED
ChillNPsyco Aug 2020
Another day I struggle to reach its
     darkened end
Battling cryptic thoughts which my
     demons send
Amidst this emptiness I find myself
    withering away
Neither caring nor am I wanting to
    see another day
Depression is an uninvited friend
    that will not leave
Obstinate that it speaks only truth
    when trying to deceive
No one can be found to convince me
    it is only lies
Emptiness that surrounds me
    somehow it multiplies
Depression
                     Erases
                                 All
                                      The
                                             Hope
ChillNPsyco
187 · Aug 2020
A Question
ChillNPsyco Aug 2020
I reach out but no one hears
    Within the silence are my worst fears

Why do I look for reason in every day
    I tell myself I no longer wish to stay

The pain reminds me I'm still here
    Always pushing away never pulling near

All this time alone woundering why
    To be a part of this life at times I try

A room filled with many I'm still alone
    A feeling not changed in an empty room at home

This life perhaps never ment to be
    For so many yes maybe not for me

Whispers in the dark voices I can't see
    Often they convince its time to fly free

Light fills my eyes each day I wake
    This life is not mine...
                            Not mine to take!?
                                            
                                                   ChillNPsyco

— The End —