I feel it gradually
engulfing my sanity
piece by piece

I feel insanely vulnerable
just by recalling your figure
 in the darkness

By hearing your voice 
all over again
reliving the life-threatening 
fear that rushed in 
and out of my heart

It was the first
and last time
I'd ever sense 
time has stopped

My soul froze
and still remains 
how you left it that night

You may have forever 
shaped and scarred me
but I haven't lost myself

Finding ourselves
is truly an uphill journey
but one we’re always destined to take
no matter your age
or where you are in life

Find gratitude
in obstacles  
in every miracle
no matter how
big or small

Nothing really lasts
Even a fraction of a second
can end as soon as it came

No love can last
None strong enough to endure
The madness that burrows
Itself deep within me

Unfixable
Unforgivable

I am nothing
But a mere shadow
Of existence

Seeking love
In all the
dangerous places

Nothing lasts
Not love
Not I

All that remains is
This illness
That carries me
That will always carry me

It gives me love
a feeling of being wanted 
and accepted

I guess its 
turned my brain

A never-ending 
war I never
want to forsake

Liar whispered
her soul

You feel a part of you chip away
shh, don't say a word
don't let anyone see
this is our little secret

Every time
every second
always longing
for a way out

To stop feeling
his haunting words
his sickening touch

Pressing down
her mind too corrupted
to let her breathe

Nowhere else
to turn
but inwards

Deep
and safe
inside her mind

A world of
self destructive love
Her only way out
never giving up

She comes to play with me again
tempting me
sharing secrets
that no one else can see

I fight to move on
yet I stay
embracing her comfort
I take her hand blindingly

Reminiscing
on how she never left me 
from the start
she took me in

As absurd as it seems
she makes me feel whole
loved
accepted

I fight to stay alive
I fight
hoping 
for a brighter beginning

We weren't meant to ever be together
years of wasted love and time together
only adding fuel to the flames

I've only been pushed further down
into my imaginary world I call home

Where love and kindness can't embrace me
where loneliness is my queen
and misery is my mistress