Colors of emotions
form into the ocean
so vast
dark
its depth immense

The hallow eyes
of a lost and broken child
waiting for a sign
a sliver of hope

Beckoning for a reason
to let her heart stay
while at the same time
knowing nothing will ever change
what's affected her

How the truth
can't be erased

Taking a deep shaky breath
she lets the darkness swallow her
in hopes of finding the light
that seemed so far out of reach

A vulnerable feeling
An entity lost at sea

Alone in the dark
Wishing for something
Someone to claim it as their own

To nurture it with love
To accept it as it really is-
Its true form of never ending sorrow

It affects me to my very core
And because it's a part of me
As I've accepted it to be

I know I affect those around me
Those who care for me deeply

When it and I are both stuck
Glued to our inner world of inner tragedy and loss

A time for self-reflection
To be one with it
And for it to be one with me

See it as a hurting child
Longing for unconditional love
Aching to be held in a loving embrace

And once I do
All I sense is serenity

I only need to nurture it
As I, its host,
Gives it a home to sleep in

Flower petals drift into the stream
stars fall from the sky
as they light up the earth

So close to my heart
I remember the day we first met

Your warmth
your love
your presence flows in and out of me

And like silk you slip away in to the distance
the wind taking you freely into the skies

I long to be with you again
I long to hear your voice
be in your loving embrace once more

You are the light
that always shines brightly
when I'm lost in the dark

Please don't ever change

I feel the rush of existance
it once brought me so long ago
I long to feel alive again
to have the fleeting moment of ecstasy

I tap into my soul
it starts to unfold
as I let it take me there

Everything is lost
and yet emotions are strong

As I let my sanity
wander into oblivion
I am sold

I sell myself to all that lies within me-
emptiness, lust, desire, longings
of needing to feel wanted and alive

I slide another blade down my skin
as red pours over me
I let myself feel soothed
and stay in the stillness I call home

I know
without a doubt
that you'll never leave me

She finds herself trapped
as a wave of darkness
swallows her whole

Thoughts of suicide 
thoughts of intimacy 
race through her mind

Nothing can penetrate her 
for she is untouchable
when in darkness

And yet, feeling trapped
within herself
she longs to be touched

She wishes someone
would help her
find her true self
within the solitude solace gives her

That someone is herself
slowly
gradually
she chips herself away

And painstakingly
she emerges from her shell
anew

You took away so much
left me in the dark
without anyone to trust
or any hope to hold on to

You broke me down
and the belief you'd engraved within me
changed me completely

As a person I was nothing
just an empty shell for others to
dig into
to break me down even further

I’m still feeling my way
through the darkness of you

You slated me with your actions and words
I’m still a slave to you

I love you
and yet I fear you

You’re my living nightmare
and I hate myself for
wanting to be close to you

You’ll never let me free will you
you’ll have me dead
before I can bring your
unspeakable actions
into the light

Naked and alone
I keep myself here
Where he placed me
So long ago

I'm keeping myself here
Because it feels like it's the
only thing I've ever known
The one thing he silently
taught me through his actions

I can't seem to undo
all that he did
Emotionally and
psychologically
He trapped me
within myself

What will it take for
me to feel free
What will it take for
me to just give in

Why did he have
to hurt me