If I told you that
You'll be okay in a month's time,
Would you believe me?

Because you will.
You're stronger than you think you are.

(Not a dismissive I'm fine, either,
But 'okay' in the genuine sense.)

Lost in your grief and pain and anger,
You've forgotten just how resilient you really are.

Every time you hit rock bottom,
You discover a hidden strength in you
That you never knew.

When your worst fears come to pass,
You discover that there's life after the storm,
That the boulder seems more like a pine cone in hindsight.

The pain comes and goes like the tide,
But each onslaught will be easier to withstand,
Until it's nothing more than a faint murmur.

You will get back on your feet again
And dare to love and hope again
To dream new dreams.

You think this hell will last forever.
It won't.

None of this makes sense now
But it will soon enough.

And that person who did this to you
Won't even cross your mind.
When you do remember,
The pain fades more and more each time.

So love yourself.
Remember who you are,
What you're made of.

God won't help you -
He already gave you that power.

Do whatever it takes.
Go out
Or stay in.
Hit the gym
Meet people
Read or cook
Write and write and write
Make poems and stories
Make good art,
Like Gaiman said.
Whatever it takes.
Your recovery comes first.

You can do it.
I know you can.

Things will get better,
I promise you.

I was doing just fine before you. I was happily killing myself slowly. I was happily skipping a meal or two to attain my goal weight. I was happily bringing forth crimson from my wrists. I was happily cursing my lungs with nicotine. I was happily drowning my liver with my pain. I was happily craving the attention of anyone who'd listen. I was happy killing myself, but then you asked me to try.

You asked me why. You asked me to stay. You say that you love me. But who could love a girl with scars? Certainly not the kind that I have. I have too much emotional baggage that I wouldn't want to drag you into. But you still you say you love me. You say you need me.

You don't catch how I cringe before you hold me close. You don't know why commitment is so hard for me. You don't know why I don't want marriage. You don't know why I don't want ***. You don't know the reasons I bawl at night. You don't know why I stay home from school some days. You don't know why I lie to every single person who cares about me. You don't know why I want to die.

Yet you ask me to try. And I forget about all of those things. And I believe you. I believe that maybe you're right. And maybe you're just right for me.

I know I should have
called you back
but
for some reason
I
just

didn't.

You fell in love with the
late nights we shared,
just me and you

You fell in love with the
thought of me
being in your prescence

but,
there is no way you have
fallen in love with *me