I can't find the child I was once familiar with
With the swollen cheeks and a face that beamed with energy
It was simply a temporary gift
One that radiated glee
One that wished to find everyone's interests and mold into one
One that lead down to multiple positive paths
But nowadays, I find myself within my own wrath
Lost within myself
Lost within a haze of what I can assume a assumption of a play
I find myself playing with myself like I'm a double sided tape
I used to understand everything like it was as clear as the spring's water in the day
But now lost within a maze with no exit
Yet, I'm on display like an animal's exhibit
The fragile mindset of a child's lingers deep inside of me
Tired of waking and letting the whole world view and see
And they're too good for me anyways, you see?
All these monsterous prophecies can't see the light it me
They all like me until I act out in front of them and they dislike me being a normal human being?

I look down the road
There lies the toad
I can see the path ending
My death pending
Goodbye. :)

always the child
who never got appreciated
just an unwanted child
trying her hardest
to be the perfect one—
just once.
trying her hardest
to be appreciated,
dying to hear:
“you did a great job,”
“the dish you cooked was very nice,”
“i’m proud of you,”
“you scored 98% in maths,”
“i’m proud of my daughter.”
she just wanted
to be loved.
to be seen.
to be appreciated.

Hey Mr Light Switch!
How do you do?
"You make me itch"
"Does that make sense to you?"
No Mr Light Switch!
Care to explain?
"You manage to make my eye twitch"
"You carry the aura of disdain"
Oh, I'm sorry Mr Light Switch!
I thought you loved me!
"It's okay little switch"
"I do love you, can't you see?"

"You're growing to become just like me!"
"To my eyes, that's so great to see!"
You're such a *****, I don't want to be like you!
You end up flickering just like a switch too!
"Oh little switch, I hate you too!"
"And I swear, I always want to be like you!"

I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly,
I've been so good, Why am I feeling empty?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year,
I've been so good, But it's still getting harder,
I've been so good, where the heck is my karma?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year.

**** that M0NST3R that's chasing me!
I'm tired of running like a guinea pig on a spinning wheel
It yearns for the tears that smells like steel
It swallows my words
And sometimes walks in herds
Chasing the sense of VVLN3R@B1L1TY

I don't give a **** if that M0NST3R has voice lines and looks hot
I'm more worried about trying to find the keys while the M0NST3R is trying to eat me alive!
The house is secured, as if I were playing Granny
The locks in the house says I have to wait until the next decade
To use them!?

Don't stop running when I need to be medicated, hello?
M0NST3R has bitten my neck
And it won't give me another sec
Before it comes for another B1T3!

"faint
faint
faint
sleep
sleep
sleep
my dear child
let the bed bugs bite"
IT KEEPS TELLING ME IN WHILE THE WORLD IS BLURRING TO A HAZE
and the water drops
.

This isn't what I learned
The lesson still isn't learned
Why?
Because I'm forced to be near and enjoy time with you
I'm one of the two
No blood connection
But your father decided to cross my mother's intersection

How you ignore me
Complete different personality
From a few seconds ago
I guess it's better
But I hate being sent sarcastic and unapologetic letters

I get that you're trans and all
But it isn't fair enough to make my ego fall
It isn't fair on how you can just ***** me on places where the sun doesn't shine
I can't even imagine you getting the male genitals
I'm terrified, that's all
I'm scared what you'll do with that small thing

I haven't learned my lesson
Went through this before
Thou has committed sin
Yet I still haven't let the ocean reach the shore