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The maturity I feel over my parents
The freedom I can barely rent
The wave of horror that crashes over me
Just like a tsunami in the sea
That they can do anything to me
Experiment on me
And get away with it
They act as if they don't care
As if everything I said had flown up on the air
Coaches sexualizing me for wearing a mere crop top at a young age
Men three times my age isolating me like they're locking me in a cage
Manipulate, abuse, ****** abuse, repeat
Choke, ****, eat
Maturity at a young age
Rub me across your skin like Sage
Treat me as a child
No—
Treat me like it's mild
No—
Treat me like an adult
Get rid of my freedom like it was in a cult
Bounded by these shackles of shame
Then I no longer know your name

Sad how I'm supposed to consider you two as my parents
Yet you don't do anything when someone who lives with me currently used to touch me inappropriately and has done attempted ****** on me
All I can watch you do is just throw a childish tantrum
  May 7 Vayla Hemingway
Amanda
BPD
I want to believe in steady things,
but even my own reflection changes
when I look too long.
Are you here?
Do you love me?
Will you stay?
I ask without asking,
watching for the answer
in the way your hands move,
the way your breath hesitates before a word.

I know I feel too much,
ask too much,
but the silence between us is louder
than anything I could say.
So I fill it.
With words, with fear, with love—
all spilling over,
all too much,
all at once.

And still, I wonder, if it’s enough.
  May 2 Vayla Hemingway
SANA
after a really long time
i could dream
i could smile in my dream
i could really live
#r
I could never say it
People get me jealous
“Jealous, jealous girl"
Just only because
They got your attention
Your attention is supposed to be on me
At all times
I am your girlfriend, correct?
Is it bad that I don't want you talking to other girls?
Is it bad that I want to cling onto you and cuddle you just to prove that you're mine?
Is it bad that I want to feel your lips on mine relentlessly till we pass out just to prove you're all mine?
Is it bad that I want those girls dead?
Is it bad I want you in my bed?
Is it bad that those thoughts of mutilation was on my mind?
I just want you

Why do you enjoy your “homies" holding your hand?
Why do you enjoy your "homies” to touch you in ways that only I should?
I'm sorry I'm boring
I play the same jokes over and over again
I just want you all over me over and over again

So…. If you want to play that game
I'll be kind and take my aim
I'll shoot fire
I'll tell you someone gave me a hickey
I'll tell you someone was touching my ****
I'll tell you someone had kissed me
All just to make you jealous

Love ya!
Tired of fighting
I just want to get along
I'm sorry that I joke around with you
That's the only way I know how to cope
I'm sorry that I'm too weird
I'm such a ******* creep
I'm sorry that I threaten to touch you everyday
I'm sorry that I touch your thighs everyday
I should change myself
I'm too stupid to notice that's clearly SA
I'm probably too used to it
I probably thought it was normal from all the groping
I know how it feels
Yet I keep doing it
I can't change myself
I can't handle it
Slap me across the face and tell me to be quiet
Go on
Please
It'll help me
Go as hard as you can
Leave red marks on my cheeks
Allow it to bruise
I'll do this for you
Cyberstalked, SA'd by multiple different people, manipulated and yet I decide to pass it on to a different person. I swear I'm such a ******* disappointment. Why do people even enjoy hanging out with me?
Early in the morning.
Birds besides my window, singing songs, flapping their wings.
Bothering my sleep. Go Away!.
The words
I can say
What I can't express

The feelings I get
When someone
Or something
Makes me excited
Makes me want to tell others
I can no longer keep anything to myself
For now
I'm a talking machine

I'm giving people free vouchers for secrets
I'm simply giving and never taking
Talking to the wrong people
And these people
Are leaking my words everywhere

Now
Everything is biting me
Painfully
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