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always the child
who never got appreciated
just an unwanted child
trying her hardest
to be the perfect one—
just once.
trying her hardest
to be appreciated,
dying to hear:
“you did a great job,”
“the dish you cooked was very nice,”
“i’m proud of you,”
“you scored 98% in maths,”
“i’m proud of my daughter.”
she just wanted
to be loved.
to be seen.
to be appreciated.
Hey Mr Light Switch!
How do you do?
"You make me itch"
"Does that make sense to you?"
No Mr Light Switch!
Care to explain?
"You manage to make my eye twitch"
"You carry the aura of disdain"
Oh, I'm sorry Mr Light Switch!
I thought you loved me!
"It's okay little switch"
"I do love you, can't you see?"

"You're growing to become just like me!"
"To my eyes, that's so great to see!"
You're such a *****, I don't want to be like you!
You end up flickering just like a switch too!
"Oh little switch, I hate you too!"
"And I swear, I always want to be like you!"
Don't you love toxic sibling love? Just, your sibling is so happy and caring one moment and the next, they're such a ***** that you just want to snap your neck because of them? Is that just me?
I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly,
I've been so good, Why am I feeling empty?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year,
I've been so good, But it's still getting harder,
I've been so good, where the heck is my karma?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year.
Adam, Jack, and Ryan Metzger,
Karma, 2019
I hardly think about you
Except when the music plays
And I realize that no one else
In the whole wide world
Knows the lyrics
But us...
Once or twice a day is not that much, after all...
**** that M0NST3R that's chasing me!
I'm tired of running like a guinea pig on a spinning wheel
It yearns for the tears that smells like steel
It swallows my words
And sometimes walks in herds
Chasing the sense of VVLN3R@B1L1TY

I don't give a **** if that M0NST3R has voice lines and looks hot
I'm more worried about trying to find the keys while the M0NST3R is trying to eat me alive!
The house is secured, as if I were playing Granny
The locks in the house says I have to wait until the next decade
To use them!?

Don't stop running when I need to be medicated, hello?
M0NST3R has bitten my neck
And it won't give me another sec
Before it comes for another B1T3!

"faint
faint
faint
sleep
sleep
sleep
my dear child
let the bed bugs bite"
IT KEEPS TELLING ME IN WHILE THE WORLD IS BLURRING TO A HAZE
and the water drops
.
This isn't what I learned
The lesson still isn't learned
Why?
Because I'm forced to be near and enjoy time with you
I'm one of the two
No blood connection
But your father decided to cross my mother's intersection

How you ignore me
Complete different personality
From a few seconds ago
I guess it's better
But I hate being sent sarcastic and unapologetic letters

I get that you're trans and all
But it isn't fair enough to make my ego fall
It isn't fair on how you can just ***** me on places where the sun doesn't shine
I can't even imagine you getting the male genitals
I'm terrified, that's all
I'm scared what you'll do with that small thing

I haven't learned my lesson
Went through this before
Thou has committed sin
Yet I still haven't let the ocean reach the shore
Please don't get the male parts before 20. Please don't get the male parts before 20. Please don't get the male parts before 20. I'm not ready for even more COCSA. No more abuse please!
I hate myself
I hate how I look
When I look at myself
Smiling
With my crooked teeth
With cavities filling my teeth
If one looked at me from afar
They'd think I had golden crowns

I hate how I look
With stars circling my eyes
Bags resting beneath my eyelids
With my double chin
Not making me comfortable until I be uncomfortable with it
With my chin with the ****
I look like the handsome Squidward
But uglier

I hate how I look
With the nose that magically grows hairs upon its head
And how the same stars from my eyes
Weren't turning into styes
No—
They're forming on my nose
Little glistening bumps
That won't quite turn into a pimple
And die down
No—
They stay for years on end
No matter what I do

I hate how I look
I hate how I grow hairs so fast on any part of my body
My unibrow somehow keeps coming back
The hair from my scalp
Keeps chasing my eyebrows
Which I didn't know it could happen
But I've seen me
How I have to shave my hands to reduce the judgement from my classmates
My friends I say
And how there's dirt constantly underneath the confines of my nails
No matter what I do
Anything doesn't do anything

I hate how I look
How everytime I bend over
I see the stomach fat
Like it's always there when I stand up
I keep comparing myself to those picture perfect social media girls
How there's no hair on their stomach
And how I can see their ribcage
And how... THIN they are
And my thighs-
They look like a **** triangle
I feel my thighs touching at the top
While down below, it's like I magically turned Korean
And how my calves
Are twenty shades lighter than any part of my body

I hate how I function
How my stomach produces excessive gas
And how my brain automatically wants to turn the batteries off to my body
And how my muscles ache
And how I can only run on motivation
Which causes my lack of dental hygiene
And how I'm getting rapidly addicted
To the drug that every kid loves
Makes sense cause I'm a kid that is racing to highschool
But everyday
I contemplate
How I keep up
Living five years in dream jail
Because everything IS a fever dream
It's tiring
Painful

I hate everyone... I-
.
.
.
Well not exactly everyone
Just people that **** me off
Which is about everyone
Because of my belief
People can't drive,
Park,
Use proper grammar in their native language,
Can't help but body shame
To feel better about themselves,
Can't help anyone
And never put themselves in other's shoes,
They can't use their own brain cells,
Basically inconsiderate ignorant fools

Sorry! 💋<3
the only pros? I pull because I got bronze, copper skin and personality somehow.
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