I know if I died you would care
That it would rip you apart
Make you shiver with each tear
Yet somehow my being alive
Means that Im not even there
As if the fact that Im awake
Keeps you from seeing my fists in the air
Begging for violence not strength to keep My head above the water
So far in the deep but still
My one two three breaths to you
Mean Im not going under.
Keeps you shielded from the fact that
That my hands are always bleeding Different shades of blue and black
But every color has the same meaning
I keep kicking while I’m screaming
Wishing so fiercely that you could just see me
But I
Am so invisible my tears turn to dust Before they even begin to fall
My screams sounds so distant and
Unfortunate you just cant hear them at all
My only purpose
Other than catching you right before you fall
Is to let you know that someone will always be willing to crawl
To you and for you and away when you’re done
Please don’t go please stay I beg you to come undone
Ask me again if I love you
Of course I’ll say yes
But I swear to god you’d love me
So much more if I were just dead.

More than anybody,
I come to you.
When the night is too long
and the weather too cold,
I come to you.

tell me something…
what’s your favorite part of my pain?
is it the way i toss and turn
or the way i rip myself apart,
over and over again?
ask me something?
ask me how it feels to live in sorrow.
ask me how it feels to mope
to cry
to lose hope
to be nothing but hollow on the inside.
promise me something?
promise me and i’ll be the moon
i’ll be the sun
i’ll be…
almost anyone.
tell me
if i ask you
to promise,
will you bring me
solace?

Does it matter to you that sometimes I tremble when you touch me
Not out of love but fear?
Fear that maybe you have the power
To turn into him
The power to become who and
What I fear the most
Power to make me feel sick
Make me feel weak
Make me feel empty
Make me feel wrong.  
I love the way you touch me
But maybe I'm not always there
Maybe it's wrong
Maybe it's *****
Maybe I'm *****
Maybe I'm broken
You see cuz he broke me
He hurt me
He bit me
Right in the soul
A giant chunk of me that will
Never grow back.
Does it matter to you that I'm
Never coming back?
Does it matter to you that I feel
Broken like that?
Does it matter?