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Behind a locked door, there lies a child

You hear the sound of quiet crying as you look at their red face,

Their fever coming to a boil,

Their skin clammy and aching

Their throat so sore it makes no noise

They look into your eyes and
You see defeat,

the wish to scream never coming true

Their eyes turning into a swirl of black nothingness, it almost swallows you hole
I have been getting sick on and off severally for years. It seems every-time I do it is a constant uphill battle not to become extremely depressed as I’m isolated in pain and can’t take care of myself. I used to be a lot worse spiraling crying for anyone to care but after being shown so many times it doesn’t really matter I have almost come to be okay with the loneliness that being an adult on your own has created. But today, I feel that screaming child wanting anyone to hold me and being reminded there is no one to.
It’s when all the distractions lay to the side and my bare skin is looking back at me, that I’m reminded of how disappointed I am with myself.


Just what have I done
Allissa Clifton Jul 2021
Destined for growth


Every stagnant moment a shard in her chest
Allissa Clifton Jun 2021
I feel so lonely
                                                          
                                                          be quiet

I feel so scared
        
                                                          Shut up  


I feel so anxious

                                  

         Did I not just tell you to shut the **** up
Allissa Clifton Apr 2021
An achromatic  photo
a tumbling rock
                            falling
                                        down

                              A snow packed peak
      
Every inch of stone covered in weighted white
Rolling and growing...
growing and rolling...
the only sound heard, ice kissing ice
And my screams
Do you hear it?
The avalanche of my life
It has a sound unlike any other
A crescendo  of every experience compounding on my soul, demanding to be seen, heard, felt, feared

Warning level 5 avalanche
Please evacuate the area for personal safety, hazard may cause more calamity
Allissa Clifton Sep 2019
How much is your soul worth to you? Because you gorge on the fruit of your soul every day , tell me have you ever tried sewing before reaping? You’ll notice the holes you dig are not to bury yourself but to grow you. You realize the pain of loneliness in the dark soil and the cracking of your shell is what births you, and with every leaf that uncoils is your past and present meeting the sun. Realize the flowers you bloom are yours. So before you crack the ground of your soul and over draw the account on your life for something... remember what you did to bloom that flower.
Allissa Clifton Sep 2019
Medicate to sleep
Slowly feel like a creep
Poison starting to seep
Is this what it means to be free?
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