Sun showers, as it shines, the rain pours

As if the beating sun cries for all it has scorched throughout the day
As if this small show of cooling is its atonement for the damaged cracked skin across your shoulders
The cooling water slides down your back, leaving a trail of humidity in its path
The guilt it feels suffocates you with the moisture in the air swirling with the defening heat like a blanket wrapped around your throat
You claw your face
But its inside you, seeping in you, seeking your sanity
It whispers why is it my fault, all I do is work every day, shining on the planet, creating life, you know without me you wouldn't have ever been born, I gave you life
And you know it's true but it doesn't quell the fact your body is red, peeling, in agony from its intensity,

But it whispers its only for a season... for it will get cold and how you will kiss the ground hoping for those warm rays...

I present a mirror to show how beautiful you are as I stand believing I’m covered in rags never knowing what the back side of it sees

I was a child forced upon this world, And now I am an adult with the world forced upon me

Behind a locked door, there lies a child

You hear the sound of quiet crying as you look at their red face,

Their fever coming to a boil,

Their skin clammy and aching

Their throat so sore it makes no noise

They look into your eyes and
You see defeat,

the wish to scream never coming true

Their eyes turning into a swirl of black nothingness, it almost swallows you hole

It’s when all the distractions lay to the side and my bare skin is looking back at me, that I’m reminded of how disappointed I am with myself.


Just what have I done

I feel so lonely
                                                          
                                                          be quiet

I feel so scared
        
                                                          Shut up  


I feel so anxious

                                  

         Did I not just tell you to shut the **** up