I love you even when I like others. Being around you is like the well spring of my heart has been opened up. I tried to close it over and over and over again but as soon as you give me a drip of water on my parched lips, the love that I have for you overflows into a tidle wave and when I walk away I don’t know how to deal, so I just damm it?

Why is it always easier to see the Tetris game. The pieces falling
Into place the way the blocks move the way that I know the wrong ones it was made and if I did this in this, it would just be fixed. Why can’t I see the Tetris game in myself? Why can’t I see the game that I am playing? Why can’t I understand what I’m doing? Why is it so much easier with others? I hate I hate it. I feel like the blindly in the blind, but I’m both.

Sun showers, as it shines, the rain pours

As if the beating sun cries for all it has scorched throughout the day
As if this small show of cooling is its atonement for the damaged cracked skin across your shoulders
The cooling water slides down your back, leaving a trail of humidity in its path
The guilt it feels suffocates you with the moisture in the air swirling with the defening heat like a blanket wrapped around your throat
You claw your face
But its inside you, seeping in you, seeking your sanity
It whispers why is it my fault, all I do is work every day, shining on the planet, creating life, you know without me you wouldn't have ever been born, I gave you life
And you know it's true but it doesn't quell the fact your body is red, peeling, in agony from its intensity,

But it whispers its only for a season... for it will get cold and how you will kiss the ground hoping for those warm rays...

I present a mirror to show how beautiful you are as I stand believing I’m covered in rags never knowing what the back side of it sees

I was a child forced upon this world, And now I am an adult with the world forced upon me

Behind a locked door, there lies a child

You hear the sound of quiet crying as you look at their red face,

Their fever coming to a boil,

Their skin clammy and aching

Their throat so sore it makes no noise

They look into your eyes and
You see defeat,

the wish to scream never coming true

Their eyes turning into a swirl of black nothingness, it almost swallows you hole

It’s when all the distractions lay to the side and my bare skin is looking back at me, that I’m reminded of how disappointed I am with myself.


Just what have I done