I need something to rage with me
Something ugly
In perfect hate
to relieve the stress
to bring me down from that level
From those who brought me there
Those who don't try
Who don't care
I'd rather die
Than admit I'd cry
Far too much
Something I need
so I don't snap
and be another statistic
I just can't take it
give me the screams and yells
of justified violence and
Unplanned lives that
Need a little more
I can't anymore
I just can't

I swear with every letter of every word
I am angry as I've never been
If only I had better instructions
for a bad day
Than its going to be OKAY
Because it's not
Not now
I'm shaking with rage
Please
Get some sense or maybe some knowledge
of the words and ideas
you speak
It means nothing if you don't know
And I know it should get better
And I don't know for certain it will

I've always wondered
Why cats hate water
An instinct maybe?
A fear of what could **** you
Seems reasonable to me
But then should I fear the air I breathe?
Or am I too Terrified to even
Sleep?
Afraid of what lurks in
My head.
Everything I push far away
In that little corner.
Where they plot
And devise
the very best way to
Open up my eyes?
Every fear has a part
in this play.
Even lowly fear of death
Who I am on speaking terms.
Embarrassment likes to be a needed
Secondary character,
who dies in the end.
Fire likes to leave everyone
Burned, but alive with no where to turn.
Loneliness no doubt likes the
Background set up
And me front and center with
Anxiety whispering in my ear
Line after line of stumbling
Nervous lies that everyone
Sees, no doubt
The lights are bright
And the stage seems to be a hundred feet
Off the ground
My knees quiver and my body shakes
As water rises and chokes me
My friends just above the surface
that I scrabble towards.
why is no one
doing anything?
I-i c-can't br-breathe
Help me











No one's coming though
I haven't said all my lines.
Or maybe I wasn't meant to finish
It's funny though,
The one thing that I don't fear
Is Pain
It's funny because my body
Always hurts
I love cats
How they're graceful
How they're always distracted
How they're so loving to their human
And I'd say water as a biggest fear
Then life must be sweet  
Or slow as honey
Perhaps it really is a
Lovely way to go

The rivers full of sharks
The oceans full of poison
Monsters roam the land
And the sky's no place to lay your head

I remember a poem
Of name I can not recall
It's lines that encased my heart
With a new view of the world
That told the story of
One such as me
but unlike as far as the eye can see
Constructed how I do not know
If the hero vanquished his foe
Or her warrior mine live or die
I am gasping from the high
But then it ends
With a sighing cry
Spiraling down into the dark
And has the final line
What's the point?
Love is stupid.
I suppose it's poet finally gave in
Saw the beauty in the world
Understood its greatness
But the darkness is there too
It's a never consuming thing
It will swallow you whole
And never let you go
I remember a poem
Of name I cannot recall
But it changed me
For the better after all

Recently I've discovered that one of my peons was posted on tumblr without my permission. Although they did list my name as the writer I am upset about this and I don't know what to do. It is the first poem I posted, which is called Knighted Fools, and I don't know if they have done this to others. I'm going to list some that I find on this person's blog. Their blog is called  lil-blog-of-poetry
List of poems on there (again I don't know if they have been taken from this website or somewhere else. I also have not been able to reach the writer of this tumblr blog)
Possible Princess by Chelsea
New Year's  (Haiku #7) by Brittle Bird

The way I love the world is a selfish kind of
Metaphor I suppose
I search out all the lies like
Love songs are written by fools
Time is best spent on ourselves
A different side doesn't matter
There are a lot of others detailing the * waste* of human effort
On what?
The silly things
The things and thoughts that matter
I love the world in an unusual way
By noting the cynical views
And where they are wrong
and where they are right
But it turns me darker and darker
Then I crack open a book
And imagine that world
And how there is definitely someone like me there
I love the world in a strange way
I desperately grasp the strings of hate and twist it inside of me
Until I am consumed
Sometimes it feels like an endless black hole
That ****** in the thin film of hope
Never to be seen again
But who knows if black holes even exist?
**Can it all just not exist?