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Courtney Gaura Nov 2015
Some believe the world
to have that glow of good
That lasting moment of hope
for the better in life
I'm sorry to say I don't see the good
I'm sorry to say
I don't see the belief in anything
I don't know the reasons that everyone has
I'm sorry to say I don't understand
We will all cry humanity
and stand together
when the world is in pain
but where is our solidarity
if we cannot understand
our differences?
What's the point in trying?
Where's the point in lying to yourself
we will destroy ourselves
and there is nothing we can do to stop it
unless they finally get it together
and understand
but I'm sorry to say that
old thoughts and old ways
distract us from our path
to completion  
Is far from my thoughts
good of the world
and let me think
what if we can change the world?
But I'm sorry to say
I don't think I'll see that
but I'm sorry to say
I don't think I'll live to see that
but I'm sorry to say we need it soon
and I hope for the best for the future
and the past because
Our present is filled with hate
because of misunderstandings and dehumanization
we need a moment of joy
Of change
A place to live
where we don't have to see that everyday I'm sorry to say
I'm too cynical to see that future
I see the bad in everyone
and I don't know why
I'm sorry to say
I'm sorry to say
I'm sorry to say
I don't know what to say anymore
Courtney Gaura Nov 2015
How can you think of them as
Inhuman?
Of having more relation to
Animals?
As being a
Commodity to life?
Less than?
Monsters
have more restraint
Oppress
Control
Rule
******?
Do we not all have
two ears
two eyes
A four chambered heart
That beats fast
With affections?
Do we not all have
One mouth
One brain
In which we take in
The world?
Stitched together with
Every senseless moment
Of hate
Of pain
Of our cruel actions
Is there any good?

Maybe.............

Maybe........ not............

WHY IS LIFE SO SENSELESS?

Where is logical thought?
The rational?
The compassion?
Where are the good people?
What is a life worth?

.............sometimes.............
.........the thought ...............
......comes to me.................
.........why?............................
...­.why does it?...................
..........................................­....

*In the end how much of me remains?
Uh yeah.......
Courtney Gaura Sep 2015
I'm building a monster
Stitched together with every
Perceived slight



If you want to be happy
Don't create the nightmare
From your head
Courtney Gaura Aug 2015
Everyone has high days
And everyone has low days
And sometimes it's been
So long since normalcy
You forget
Its steady pleasure
Of feeling between
Of a perfect balance of joy
And depression
Sometimes the world is
Caving in around you
That you feel as though
You're falling through space
Forgetting the stability
Of solid ground
And tears are as much of a relief
As lines carved in skin
Thats retraced in red of
Varying degree of vibrancy
Sometimes you vent to the
Privacy of a lonely notebook
One that never spills secrets
Or someone on the other end
Of the phone
Telling you everything will be fine
But you don't know if you believe those words
And you're crying out for help
Hoping someone will notice
So you don't have to
Sometimes there's a happy ending
Sometimes there's never a good ending
Sometimes it just continues
On the cycle of never ending repeat
Of highs and lows
And then the time you find a steady stabilizing balance
Read into this as you may
Courtney Gaura Jun 2015
A beautiful mess
A symphony written in blood
A best seller of mistakes
A melody of melancholy
A master piece made of mud
Coffessions of tragedy
Plays of death
Words that built
An empire
Falls to pieces
A painting of endless faults
A poem book that never sold
A home built on a fault
A life constructed by a liar
A time wasted on the useless
This is the start of something
An empire of words
Useless to anyone else
Now
What's your story?
Courtney Gaura May 2015
I don't know why
Maybe so you'd like me
Only one side of me
I fear you getting to know
That side
The one that talks
Of death
Way too often
That is rude
Because that's affection
This is hell
Because you believe me
To be a static character
I feel so two faced
You get confused at
My jokes
Like
every salad is a Caesar salad if you stab it enough
That's funny
you want to know me
From so many miles
Away
Well then
Your questions aren't enough
My humor is sometimes
Dark and *****
My explanation are
Too long winded
I don't believe in your god
My imagination is
Dark and goes too far
So do my ideas
I'm scared
And I like to be alone
When my emotions
Close in
That's only part of me
The one you don't see
Dark and depraved
Are the stories
I write
Following the sometimes
Worst case situations
Maybe you've see
And I'm sorry to say this
But
You're kind of gullible
Like Brutus
The fool
I feel so two faced
What do I do?
Courtney Gaura May 2015
I'd give you my heart
If I could
Only remember
The combination
To the locks
And where
It's buried
Maybe I'll find
The map
Or a guide
I'd give you my heart
If I could
Only dream
Up the day
I could
Trust someone
Like you
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