I'm all alone in this big empty house,
But no one seems to care.
I swear people are so selfish,
although I am too so I guess that's fair.

I've spent most of my time listening to music,
Mainly because I hate silence and my mind is screaming.
I swear my sister was supposed to come round today,
although that could have just been me dreaming.

I've drunk far too much coffee,
and am on a caffeine buzz,
so all the books I'm reading keep jumping out at me,
Reminding me I'm stupid and I'm in love.

I went out for the day to refresh my mind,
But I come home to white noise,
the radio playing obnoxiously loud,
Trying to fill an empty void.

I'd never want to live alone when I'm older,
I'd get far too depressed,
Because family have only been away for 2 days,
And I haven't got the effort in me to get dressed.

I see humans but no humanity.
You tell me you're sane but where is your sanity?
Using people as you shout profanities,
Is this how the world's going to end?

What if I told you I was lying?
That all I’d revealed to you wasn’t true.
Meaning that all the secrets and terrors I’d shared,
Were just deceiving words to derail you.

Like the consequences to all my actions,
That I did not admit to,
******* up your life in multiple fashions,
All of which I knew.

Or that time you thought you’d lost your footing,
Landing on the ground,
Was actually me with my hand on your back,
Heavily pushing you down.

I’ve deceived you with my smiles,
Eradicated all your hope,
Made you drink a pint of poisonous water,
And on the truth you choked.

Do you believe in ghosts?
Because I swear I’ve seen your eyes before.
And your laugh haunts my ear drums,
Cutting my heart up raw.

This house is built for Phantoms,
No one can get over things,
Always bringing up memories,
That make my old scars sting.

And the faces I remember,
Never seem to look the same,
They appear gaunt and tired.
As if they’ve been consumed by shame.

Your history will follow you,
No matter how long you last,
Just make sure you remember,
You can never truly escape the past.

This  paralysis is scary,
And I don't know what to do.

It's like my heart is a free wild forest,
And my mind contains me like a Zoo.

Are you trying to make me ill?
Because this is a recipe for disaster,
When I can plaster on a smile at will,
Is it understanding that you're after?

You comment on my weight,
But you cannot control my way of being.
Yet, my lungs still deflate,
And the the blood from my heart starts weeping.

Perhaps we were to switch places,
You were I and I were you,
Then maybe you'd understand all the faces,
I have to wear in front of you.

Famous people with their famous faces,
Famous laughs and famous disgraces.
Famous people with famous lungs,
Famous eyes and famous tongues.
Famous people and their famous opinions.
Famous people inspiring millions.
Famous hearts and famous hands,
Famous people I'll never understand.

My invisble friends carved their names onto trees,
Then a sick feeling in my stomach lurches like the broken bark.
Overused names sit sticky in my throat,
When broken down fantasies are denied exsistence.

Courage builds up in my bones,
But brittle begging forbids it.
My heart heavy like brickwork,
Tries to pound it's way outside my chest.

Delicate musk coats my body,
Like an effort to impress you.
Rich waves of belonging attach to me,
But all I feel is rotten inside.

Misleading practices go on throughout the day,
The gentle humming in my brain switches to crying,
As hopelessness indulges my senses,
Please, There has to be more than this.

They travel in packs,
The ring leader the main culprit.
These "lovely girls" with their scowling eyes,
Their latest victim unaware.
Their claws are sharp,
Voices vile,
Seems that being a ***** is truly in style.

She and He flirt all the time,
Over the group chat wasting pick up lines.
But what She does not know is He had me first.
I was the main course and she is dessert.

When everything is numb,
And you can't comprehend,
The difference between your worst enemies and your best friend.

I cannot breathe.
My lungs have stopped working,
Because crippling aniexty is making me heave,
And I can feel depression smirking.

And then from that very moment I knew.
These feelings weren't natural,
They were created and manipulated from your own self pity.
Debated about and figured out.
They have never been natural.

I’ve never been good with feelings,
But then neither have you.
Especially when you’ve got a mother,
Who criticises everything you do.

Tears seem to stream,
Whenever she’s involved,
It seems neither of my parents want me,
And I’ve never felt so unloved.

You said you were "Fine."
But I don't think you understand what "Fine" means.
It insinuates that you're ok,
Erasing the voices in your head that make your brain decay,
Causing a mass of anomalies to appear in front of you.

You told me you were "Fine."
But I've seen your wrists and I don't think they cut themselves.
It was all far too cliche for you to admit,
The fact that you need help.

'Cause I don't wan't to wake up without you,
Your bright smile makes my day,
And your soft words are of virtue,
That chase all the monsters away.

You cannot leave me now,
We're in too deep,
Both stuck in mud,
As the negatives devour our feet.

Just underneath the screaming,
Whispers gently caress your ears.
They tell you all the secrets,
The ones that are important,
Rather then the screaming ones,
Who tell you what your eager ears want to hear.

You want to hear the gossip,
Everything that appears.
Why are you so content on listening to the screaming?
When the whispers are the beautiful ones.
Shut your lips and focus on hearing,
Listen to the silence that sings exquisitely.

"For a God that preaches love and tolerance, I cannot imagine that he would condemn a love that is true regardless of physical body".

Forever the lone wolf in love.
You cannot change an independent woman's way of living,
But sometimes these walls I've built close in.
Crushing me under the weight,
The weight of my self-induced loneliness.

He's got a smirk for a smile,
And keeps himself in top form,
He'll ace any trial,
And fight his way through any storm.

His broad shoulders are mine,
To rest my head upon,
As he talks about the times,
We forgave each other's wrongs.

The blood of the lamb is smeared,
above my front door.
Protecting me from mockery, demons, the devil,
And many more.

A candle burns above my fireplace,
reminding me of your light,
knowing that I am safe from all harm,
tucked into bed at night.

Your voice whispers warmly,
into my ear.
keeping away the dreadful thoughts,
cleansing my mind of fear.

Your name powerful enough,
to make the darkness hide.
A symbol of your sacrifice,
strong wings stretched wide.

Forgiveness and love,
your humble being preaches,
and when I see a white dove,
you're in the middle of one of your speeches.

Smiling wide, living,
You catch me when I fall,
And if I ever feel I am being pushed down,
You lift me up so I am tall.

This year we will prosper,
Be bright and ready to run.

Ahead towards fertile ideas,
Onwards towards the sun!

Stop freaking out,
People have to come to terms with these things.
One breath can calm you down,
Just breathe.
No one's restricting your windpipe.

I see a mountain between us,
I see the glare from your eyes,
I see the concept of forgiveness,
Worn on your smile as a disguise.

I see a land made of egg shells,
One step wrong and we all fall down,
I see the blood of a martyr,
Weeping from the crystals in your crown.

I'm not giving up on you,
That's the last thing I'm going to do,
And I've known you for far too long,
For this friendship to go wrong,
So please don't block me out.

I see the hunger of a vampire,
Feeding off of all my pain,
I see insanity in your eyes,
I see all the attention that you crave.

I feel the shape of your fingernails,
Sinking deep within my heart,
And I see the triumph in your features,
When I finally fall apart.

You told me that you liked me,
Then went on to snarl behind my back,
And I never thought you would Strike me,
Until the knife was deep in my back.

If I was given the entire universe,
Upon a silver platter,
Would you like a piece for yourself?
Would it even matter?

If you were given the warmth of the sun,
To defrost your frozen bones,
Would you share the sunlight with me?
Or keep it for you alone?

If I was told to vanish from existence,
Would you put up a fight?
Or would you cave in and agree?
To tired to use your might.

If you were given all the answers,
To life's endless questions,
Would you indulge me in the truth?
Or wouldn't you even mention?

If I was struggling day after day,
Would you feel the ache?
Or would you smile plastic and tight lipped?
As your mask starts to crumble and flake.

If you were given a chance to paint me,
Would you create beautiful art?
Or would you declare me a philitine?
Then drain all the colour from my heart.

Well Adam says to Eve,
"You're made from one of my ribs".
She's says "Nah, Now you're telling fibs".

If I were to tell you I liked a girl,
Would you be ashamed?
Would you make me confess my sins at Church?
On a Bible my hand laid.

If I were to kiss her delicate ribs,
Count them one by one,
Would you taunt me with the one Adam gave up?
Try to change me by force and shun.

If I were to fall in love with her brilliant mind,
Would you drown me in my doubts?
Condemn me to a life of a lie confined,
By your mockery and your shouts.

If I were to caress her beautiful soul,
With tender words and care,
Would you wound me with words of hate?
Your anger making knots in my hair.

If I were to tell you I liked a girl,
Someone the same *** as I,
Would you accept me and embrace change?
Or wouldn't you even try?

God give me the strength,
To survive this day.
Let my heart repent for the bad things I say,
Teach me to be humble,
And tell me that everything will be ok.

Guide me when I'm lost,
Make me appreciate the way I am.
Let me hold hands with my enemies,
And give me the courage to stand against my fears,

Comfort me,
Please wipe away my tears.
And I devote my every breath to you.

Do not take the Earth for granted,
It's eroding as we speak.

We've polluted the air and pulled out the plants,
Yet, You wonder why the wind shrieks.

He snarls his hate righteously,
Leaving Cancer causing chemicals in the air,

And you digest the deceit from his poisonous tongue,
As his lies tangle in your hair.

It's far too hot.
I've opened the window,
But it hasn't helped much.

I can feel the cold breeze,
But nothing seems to be working.

A book in my hand,
Trying to distract myself,
No not from the heat,
But from your absence.

I was walking home,
And I swear I saw,
Somewhere in the sky,
The clouds forming into a laughing man,
As another soul kissed this world Goodbye.

We're going nowhere,
Like a car that's broken down,
Or a king that's stopped his reign,
Cause someone's smashed his crown.

Or we're playing a bored game,
But you don't realise it's your turn,
So I wait and I wait,
As my insides rot and my thoughts churn.

I've tried to be patient,
But my heart is wearing thin,
Cause if you don't bother at all,
How'd you expect us to win?

I've tried my best,
But it's your turn now,
So don't just sit there baffled,
Like I'm the one who's made you frown.

He just sits there day after day,
A pensive expression and an ash tray.
His car of blue now smells of smoke,
His lungs are black and coughs are chokes.

He just sits there day after day,
A pensive expression and an ash tray.
Has no family so he works all the time,
And he always looks knackered but he says he's fine.

He just sits there day after day,
A pensive expression and an ash tray.
He finally got a promotion for working so hard,
Too bad it was made up of cigarettes and cards.

He just sits there day after day,
A pensive expression and an ash tray.
As he takes his final puff and teeth decay,
He just sits there day after day.

Find something to do.
Write yourself a poem,
Ignore your emotions,
They're not worth knowing.
Try to control your mind,
Try to control your voice,
Look as if in this world you actually have a choice.
Pity me for crying,
Get angry when I yell,
Just get me out ,
Of this earth like hell.

There seems to be a problem,
A problem with humanity,
As it seems we have no sanity left,
Because surviving committed that theft long ago.

People have forgotten how to feel,
We have lost sight of what is real,
And no one is allowed an opinion anymore without repercussions.

It's as though we're in a drought of genuine people,
Humans who feel and talk about what is real.
**** your ideals,
I don't care "What appeals?"
All I care about is surviving,
Surviving on this rotting hell of a planet.

I was mean to my sister the other day,
And then she started crying,
I was mean because she told me, "You never help".
When all week I'd been trying.

She tugs my heart strings of frustrated symphonies,
Makes me feel bad when I stand up for myself,
Then complaines to my Mother about my horrible behaviour,
As if she didn't induce it when like stones her words pelt.

I'd swim oceans to save her drowning mind,
But she never seems to care,
So she yells, sighs and stomps like a child of two,
Whilst in frustration I pull at my hair.

He told me that he loved me,
And I believed his lie.
Then every time he kissed me,
I felt a part of my heart die.
Trapped to a land corrupt,
He had me bound in chains.
Why did I believe you,
When you said you changed?

We’re both very awkward,
But it works very well.
I can’t imagine life without you,
Cause in my heart you always dwell.

Your laughter sporadic yet tantalizing,
Is a beautiful sound to me,
Even if you do sound like a lost seagull,
Being chased by a cat up a tree.

You slate me again,
and I'll take your name apart letter by letter,
Until your left to nothing but a sobbing mess,
as your infected, rotten heart eats away at your skin,
Weeping out of your chest.

You regret the past,
But it will never last,
When you bruise her skin.

And I can foresee a war,
Like none before,
So Darlin' please don't let him in.

I don't like you,
or the way that you think.

I detest your judgemental brain,
An empty vessel, like The Titanic you sink.

You smiled so sweetly,
With your fingers crossed behind your back.
The vows you spat lies of a serpent,
Nothing more, Nothing less.

You were so tangled up in yourself,
You forgot to care for others.
I detest your family name,
So thank God I have no brothers.

As you gulped down your poisonous wine.
I'd never thought you'd been so mean,
But you wandered off as if we were fine.
Blocking out our screams.

I find it remarkable you know my name,
As I am the last one.
So tell me Father would it have been the same,
If I were born a son?

She's always been beautiful,
Beautiful to the eyes.
But these poor boys have no idea,
What horrors lie inside.

Your tongue is like a knife,
Cutting at my skin.
So how do they expect me to defend myself?
When the blade is sinking in.

How do I respond,
To everything you say?
When you use your words to inflict harm,
Bully and manipulate.

I can't seem to find a job,
Which really isn't rare,
But all I want is some stable income,
Enough so I can prepare,

Prepare for when I feel like treating my friends,
Or enough to pay off debts,
I don't want to get stuck in a vicious circle,
Of loan and repay and repent.

It seems that now living costs money,
A smiles a pound a minute
Using those pounds to pay for lottery tickets,
Though we know we'll never win it.

A world of money grabbing scoundrels,
That's how this economy works,
They'll swipe your wallet out your pocket,
And leave you in the dirt.

It's absolutely ridiculous,
It's barmy, it's mad,
Everyone's obsessed with ten pound notes,
Designer clothes and fads.

No one thinks to change the way they're living,
No one wants to be free,
From the people with small minds,
And the rules of a society.

No one thinks about a friendly face,
That is worth more than credit cards,
Cause money won't pick you up,
When your life is in shards.

I can't seem to find a job,
But I don't think I care,
Cause I'm rich in family, Friends and laughter,
And for that there is no fare.

Listening to little lion man,
Half eaten bowl of Spaghetti to my right,
Half drunk mug of tea to my left.
I've waited five hours,
But you still haven't shown up.

You told me you'd be here at two,
But you forgot because you're scatterbrained.
I text you at four and asked if you were coming,
You said "yes", but I don't believe you.

Because I remember waiting up until two am,
But you never came home.
I'd get a brief text message that you're staying out,
Because you're always staying out.

I miss you, I always miss you.
I barely saw you for five years,
Then I got you for a few months,
But I took it for granted cause I'm a ******* idiot.

I miss you,
I've lost my appetite,
Just like you've lost interest.
But I still ******* miss you.

I treated you nicely,
Bought you lovely things.
Like a brand new grand piano,
And a couple of diamond rings.

You told me that you liked me,
And everything was fine,
But then I found you kissing,
Their lips instead of mine.

You'd told me you were sorry,
Bought me some new flowers,
That's when I'd realised that money,
Was the reason you called this 'Ours'.

And I always found it funny,
Even from the start,
That no amount of money,
Could ever buy your heart.