I'm sorry
I don't know why anymore
But I am

I wish i could envelope myself
In the ecstacy of escapism
Rushing away to realms concealed
In things that make me sway.

But, no, I am strong.
I shall overcome.
I am stronger than that which consumes me
Whether suicide or addiction, I will win.

Cuts and scrapes
Slashes, tears
Unintended, with intention
Please save my soul.

Patience
Something I am working on
Something I will be using greatly.

I will be patient.
You are going through so much
And I am going to help make it better.

Help me be patient
Teach me what it is you need
Let me into your heart to stay

Please be patient
Don't wander off so quickly
Maybe we can love again

Patience.
It's a beautiful thing
For lovers, and friends.

My faith in God
These last two days
Have been as thin ice in the last days of winter.

how could I be so blind
To let everything get ahead of me
Why did I not put her first?

My salvation will never be ensured
But one thing was
And that was her love.

Or so I thought
I may not believe in anything anymore
I didn't expect this from her.

a thousand i miss yous linger
in the sky, stubborn clouds that they
are. but i am not tall enough,
nor can i reach high enough to
bring them down and spill them upon
the floor for you. so they remain
there, unspoken, unrained, unloved.

I seriously miss you so ******* much. I can't believe you're gone. I just can't. I can't wrap my head around the fact that you're okay with just leaving me, even though just three days ago we had kissed and you held me close and I was all yours. I'm still all yours. I love you so ******* much. I ******* love you still so ******* much. I am so ******* tired of not being good enough. I want you to love me again. Please. Please just please for even a day, I'll make it last a lifetime. Just please.