It wasn't for my dues, the scorn, my shave,
Though the unjust are secure here with me,
The stand, I stood to plead my case,
Brick walls, clad guards, catch all hopeful scheme,
They hope four walls, a cot, dropped soap, will right,
My disposition to correct in time,
I alone fear not my demons of night,
Should my last breath not beweep, death sing kime,
There be a deaf heaven for men like I,
Fire'n brimstone pave the path to Gehenna,
Be me drenched in tears of a dead mans lye,
Still regret me not, glaciem mea venas,
My only fault myself despising wrought,
Be the ten for billion that I got caught.

We dance we frolic,
spinning and twirling round and round
but now only in my dreams
we laugh we cry
both and neither made no sound
but now only on memory
we traveled and stayed together alone
visited all the far off places and made love at home
but now we cant breach the front door together
we talked the night away and fell asleep
in each others arms
but now our bones have wasted away
we love each other and live on this
but now only me
(please come back)
but I know you cant
So wait my love, please...
Im trying my best,
to catch up

Wilting and blooming and starting all over
Just as the flowers in spring
Winter comes soon and leaves all too slow
Just as the flowers in spring
Lovers come and pick them free
Slow to grow back and quick to die
Ease.
They come and they go
They stop and they show
Everything that I need
To help myself grow

How are you here?
when you were just over there,
How and why, would you come back to me.
wearing what they gave you
How? You? What? betray. now,
My don't thoughts make sense anymore,
and neither do your motives...

Get lost

Have you ever taken a look
Right over your shoulder
at things left behind
No?
Then look and see what builds you
see what kills you
see how you got here now
now turn back look forward
and forget it
Cuz that stuff is already past
leave it there to die
Better there than in your future

Dear whoever,
   I hope your getting this...

I for you and you for me
Together in this we be
I support you and you me
But with all this why must there be
Secrets and lies and hidden scars
Shoved deep down hidden and barred
Hidden from both to save just one
It doesn't work like that no
If one falls we both go
So we must find these scars
And gently heal anew
Deal and heal and be whole again
We are one in this battle against life
I hope you see that
Because I sure do

"Smile!"
Click goes the little light box
As it steals away another memory
So let's connect the dots we have
And maybe it will map out our future
And maybe it'll be the way we want to go

Every time my eyes close to blink
The embrace of sleep tempts me
Every time my lids veil me from the world
I fear it may be my last
I fear that I'll drift off to naught with
Your face on my mind
Your name on my lips
I fear if I drift off now
I might long for your kiss

I'll try and stay up for you
To keep you out, to keep me safe
As if I lay down here with your face at heart
a lonely root of desire might try to bloom
For this flower can also break it apart
Which is why I ease my lids open
To **** this ****
Before it starts

Giving up this rest of piece,
Climb up to the plain,
Where you and them walk,
Above where I've lain,
I want to seek you out,
And build back what we've been,
I want to be a piece of your love,
Yet here I must stay,
Some come visit me again,
Right here,
Someday...

After a long day of realizing she discovered that her arms had grown into a car.

The car drove about as fast as her legs could carry it and stopped only when she slept. It cornered like a cat and burned oil like a lemon. It got her where she needed to go only as long as she realized it could. It went nowhere fast and everywhere slow before the old steam engine ran out of coal. Her brother said it was a foolish dream to still have at 16 but she just ran him over. Day after day her arms grew tired of taking the abuse of holding her up. It took quite a while until she realized could call a better one up. So she smiled at the weeds until they turned roses and grinned at the bees till they drowned in honey and let her drink up the extra with a straw. She frowned at the bullies outside her house until lightning smoothed them into splatters of ash. She thought a bit more of how doing her chores really ****. ****** what? Her mother would say? She just glowered at said Daddy more then you! And knew it to be true when she saw chores come to the door long after mom had gone for "Arron's". It took her a while to get back in her car and finally see her brother still stained the windshield with grow up. He was nine. Was being the term. I think that's what he would answer but no matter how big I smile at cancer or still whisks him away whispering he's mine Bea. Maybe if I could grow my chest into roses when boys look down at them for who knows what reason I can say smell away, and take one if you please. It won't be that hard to go all bizarre when I finally realized my arms were the doors to my cars.

Have you ever?
Have you ever tried to fly?
Above the clouds so high
Over the treetops and clear into the sky
soaring and living your life
so wild and free
free as a bird
yea ive tried to be
so free yet so frail
yet they've got what it takes to go forth and sail
so high an liberated from things that normally would
bar me d
                 o
                     w
                          n   to the
ground bones as lead filled
with the acidic anxiety that i let
plague and beguile me
these magnificent creatures are smarter than we
they're so hollow so happy so in jeopardy
of something to break them apart
to plummet back
down
to me
but they're still up there
looming over me
watching
my
catastrophe

So find please my girl of my dreams I can hardly wait longer,
My chest pleads in search of its eternal partner,
Your luscious hair and body so fair together have no rival,
Your image sweet with me complete I see us happily together,
So find me please, girl in my dreams for I am young no longer

It would be nice to know
That when you see my face
it gives you just as much hell
As yours gives me...

I don't write for you
not at all
so don't get all high and mighty on me
i write for myself and those special few
if your thinking like this
then
well
Its definitely not you

You came back to me
But we've long since been through
You keep coming and I try and push you back
Yet you come and try even though your promised to another
This is hard to keep you away
Because somewhere deep
Deep
Down.
I want you to stay

Who am I?
Where have I been?
Look to the past then side to side,
The voices in my head seem to remind,
Me of a place once found now lost,
I found it,
Didn't like it,
Wished to hell I could forget it,
Cuz this man I used to be
isn't the one thats set out for me
This one isn't right,
So with all my might I
take my face to the grinder and
Remove him.
I can start fresh from the remains...

There are those times,
Along down the road,
To which we skip
We frolic,
We grow old...

Best friends forever,
That childhood phrase,
The power and bond it bears,
Never ceases to me amaze,
Simple as that,
We saw
We made
We laughed
We played...

I with you and you with me,
We sat and played in the grass,
We let our imaginations spiral free,
We sailed on a pirate ship,
Across all eleven seas,
We fought dragons and flew in the breeze,
We rode horseback across the savanna,
We rocketed through space and commanded an armada,
we continued this way through all night and day,
We imagined the things we'd never see,
We imagined the people that we would never be,
We laid on our backs and stared up through the clouds,
To the great beyond then back to the ground,
We saw the wonders of our world
From our own backyard,
Best friends forever,
Our calling card...

We climbed we fell
But we did it as one,
"Best friends forever" we always said
Though not with our words
but those secret codes inside our heads,
We were happy,
We were free,
It should always be this way,
"Should we grow old?"
"Should we grow wise?"
But...
There hasn't been a "We",
Not since you died,
Best friends forever,
What a joke,
What a lie...

I just sit here and bring you alive,
I guess in a manner of speaking you never really died,
You live on and there is always a "We"
Because we live on,
In me,
Best friends for eternity ...

False truths
True lies and bittersweets
These you offer my only, my complete
They're shoved as stones down my throat
I swallow them whole as I do it all
for you as they keep coming i
Just sit submissively silently as you
plough my skin and sow more corruption
More pain more lies

She says "I love you"
but what shes really saying is
"you cant have me"
only politely

Have you ever thought about those who dont say anything at all?
Those who are so good at blending we walk past them in the hall?
Of course not, we never do

But..
Have you ever thought why?

Forsake me and just begin
This heart conditioning exercise in futility
The one where no one wins  
Just please
Satisfy this binge

Do many **** thoughts
Like digging for something lost in the confusion
but having to sift through the debris
Grain by grain
Speck by speck
One
at
a
Time

Are you the one remembering
Or the one being remembered?

I was once asked what would I do
If I had to make a choice,
Between that which was best for you
And that which would make you happy

Which would I choose?
You asked me Intently
Well now that I've made my choice
Please let it be the right one

Doo doodoo what can you do
Such small child alone in your bed
Doo doodoo what can you do
When the bogeyman lays eyes on your head
Doo dadee da da de do he won't stop coming for you
Look over your shoulder but not will you find
For child oh child he rests solely in your mind

Be not afraid for here I will be
Right at your side and to keep you and free from all who would harm you
To help you and hold you my ever beautiful child
So rest your eyes and open your mind for I will stand guard
Be not afraid.
The morn is not far...

Truth is trust
Yet, truth is lies
And lies are what this world feeds off of,
We sit here idly and lie to ourselves,
There's nothings else we can do
to help all those who suffer,
Beneath our feet..

They say that love can come from within
That it can heal all as there is no enemy of kindness
But I say different,
I say their wrong
When you without your love its not just
something wrong with you,
Its as if your missing a piece
A giant gaping hole right in your chest
There may not be an enemy to kindness
But theres always a war on love
You sometimes lose you sometimes win
But don't let anyone tell you that it comes from within
It my not come from there but something sure does
how can you possibly love another
when you hate yourself?

Dreams are a puzzle of our thoughts throughout the day,
Of what our eyes didn't see,
Of what out minds didn't say,
We bid them no thought,
We don't see the value of what they might be,
But that they all seem to bear,
The thoughts we don't see
But are most surely there
They show you what we didn't see
But our minds understood
They're ours to discover if we only but look

Confused and who knows what else
My soul it bleeds and has lost itself
It's gone to drown it's sorrows
who's know if it'll come back
Just look what you've done

It's gone not soon to return
You burned it with you gaze
you cut it with your words
You going down and taking it
hand in cuffs for the ride
We wanted to keep you safe and sound
But look at this mess.

You already dead in the ground.
I've bled for you
I've cried for you
Do you care?
No
Not even a glance as we break down
In your wake
We take the fall
While you cut a break

You get away clean while we collect scars
From all the times you fell
You fall from wrong doings
You fall to relieve
These deadly mistakes
Just a moments reprieve

Child when will you learn
That you can't just escape
Hide away the hurt
For us to carry
That just can't stand.

We won't always offer our hand
Goodbye for now
As I must retrieve my friend
From the bar of inseverence
You'll come to see soon enough
All that we've done.

I need to go to a burning man. I need to lose myself in the woods for a year. I need to make my threshold and enter through. I heard my call a long time ago but I just never...
   I can't stand myself any longer! I must lose who I am to find what I am to become. And I can't do that in a world where I exist in everyone around me. I need a place with none of me and plenty of else. So much that I can spread myself out to one thought thick. Finally be raw, enough to see myself clearly.

   I shouldn't worry about forevers, because forevers are simply composed of nows.

   I want quiet place to sit against the tree, look out over a lake, and read until my eyes bleed pleasure, my brain secretes knowledge, and my heart wisdom.
   A place to harbor a gentle haze of mind, a place to leave myself behind. Just and think and think some more, until and passed the point of being head sore.
   I want to place with plenty of glasses, and plenty of cracks, plenty of muses and no ways back.
   A place full of forevernows and nevermores, where people are stupid enough to cross the desert because of a recurring dream. A place of pink purple sunsets and endless shores.

   How mirrors have learned to lie I will never know, because I don't recognize the person they show. I have to turn them around because even my own eyes try to deceive me.

  If I don't I will always want to. If I do I won't enjoy every step, but I will a few.
   The hands that shaped this road are now, older.
   I don't know how I will, and a not even sure I understand why I will. All I know for certain is I MUST.

   Because I can't stay here. If I do I will fall in love with possibilities, and not realities. I will fall in making people out to be more than a person. I will lose my heart to and afterimage of a dream, and even if I do I would never have pursued it anyways. I want to leave the field, sell my flock, and start my full circle, or square.
   Wherever I go I have no plan know method know fall backs, but the beautiful hair of uncut graves. With only the Spektor inside my books to hold me.
   I want to hear the symphony of stars each night and have the wind tell me its stories of its travels that day.
   I want to sleep knowing the poppies stand guard.
  
   I know nothing, and I'm ready to listen, but first I must get out of my hand made prison, burn the map smashed of compass. Put my feet anywhere besides in front of the other that way I'm going nowhere fast and never looking back.

   I want to teach myself the song of my soul, so that I can hum every bar by heart, but I can't do that here. Not in this place of paper people and towns who live their lives never getting wet.

   It says if I can ever catch my breath, that I'm strangle lading in the stench of mold and excitement of leaving and never coming back.

   Mark here this day, as I lie awake at night as the last moment I spent outside the labyrinth. I need, no, I must leave find a place where I can listen to my heart and drink and its wisdom. But that place is not here I don't know where to, but I must start.
   Thomas Edison last words were " its very beautiful over there, I don't know where they're is, but I believe it somewhere, & I hope it's beautiful"

                                                     ­     ~Crow