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 Feb 2022 Ayesha
Charles Bukowski
the night I was going to die
I was sweating on the bed
and I could hear the crickets
and there was a cat fight outside
and I could feel my soul dropping down through the
mattress
and just before it hit the floor I jumped up
I was almost too weak to walk
but I walked around and turned on all the lights
and then I went back to bed
and dropped it down again and
I was up
turning on all the lights
I had a 7-year-old daughter
and I felt sure she wouldn't want me dead
otherwise it wouldn't have
mattered
but all that night
nobody phoned
nobody came by with a beer
my girlfriend didn't phone
all I could hear were the crickets and it was
hot
and I kept working at it
getting up and down
until the first of the sun came through the window
through the bushes
and then I got on the bed
and the soul stayed
inside at last and
I slept.
now people come by
beating on the doors and windows
the phone rings
the phone rings again and again
I get great letters in the mail
hate letters and love letters.
everything is the same again.
 Feb 2022 Ayesha
Charles Bukowski
from my bed
I watch
3 birds
on a telephone
wire.

one flies
off.
then
another.

one is left,
then
it too
is gone.

my typewriter is
tombstone
still.

and I am
reduced to bird
watching.

just thought I'd
let you
know,
******.
 Feb 2022 Ayesha
Charles Bukowski
as the poems go into the thousands you
realize that you've created very
little.
it comes down to the rain, the sunlight,
the traffic, the nights and the days of the
years, the faces.
leaving this will be easier than living
it, typing one more line now as
a man plays a piano through the radio,
the best writers have said very
little
and the worst,
far too much.
from ONTHEBUS - 1992
 Feb 2022 Ayesha
Charles Bukowski
I even hear the mountains
the way they laugh
up and down their blue sides
and down in the water
the fish cry
and the water
is their tears.
I listen to the water
on nights I drink away
and the sadness becomes so great
I hear it in my clock
it becomes knobs upon my dresser
it becomes paper on the floor
it becomes a shoehorn
a laundry ticket
it becomes
cigarette smoke
climbing a chapel of dark vines. . .
it matters little
very little love is not so bad
or very little life
what counts
is waiting on walls
I was born for this
I was born to hustle roses down the avenues of the dead.
An embroidery of words
Sewn together
Like a patchwork quilt
Or a tapestry
Woven
From the wild imaginings
Of my mind
Following the thread
Of thoughts
Yet sometimes
Lain naked
Without a stitch
And aware
That a stitch in time
Saves nine
Reflections on life
Dealing with emotions
Before they cascade
Out of control
Becoming
An undulating deluge
I thread the needle
This time with red
Embroidered arteries
My lifeblood
Coursing through
My heart of silk

by Jemia
 Feb 2022 Ayesha
Thomas W Case
That bubble of a moon is 
playing peek-a-boo behind
the wispy night sky.
Confirming to me
everyone's lunacy.
Words stick to the
roof of my mouth
like peanut butter.
It could have been 
a better world,
I should have been a
better man.

January snowflakes
are like guilt falling from
the sky.
little frozen starfish...
cold and raw on 
the soul, and tongue.

  

.
Here is a link to my you tube channel where I read this poem and others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjeCroHYQx
 Feb 2022 Ayesha
Delton Peele
This is the night that the lights went out on me.
The fatal sight mine eyes
Could never unsee.
Giver of life ,
Most trusted confidant,
My Queen......
My love my truest friend,
I will spend a life time
Still never comprehend ,
Why this had to be..........
lost in contemplation
Of
Inevitable aftermath  
In preparation trying to brace myself against
imminent impact.
Taunting me I sat ,
And sunk hauntingly into
A maelstrom of fears and trepidation. .........
Without her who will I be?
Awakened from dissolution by a refreshing icy cold slap in the face.    
My mind's eye dipped into an acid bath ......
Emerged bereft of selfish filters ........and brought clarity that is not my time ,but Hers .....and it is but a vapour now ,
Precious and fleeting with a quickness .........
I pushed all negative thoughts to the horizon of my mind ....
So I could take events in stride
Although in doin so
I knew ,and did my best
To hide .....
This the beginning of the end of me
From this I cannot mend
The epitomy of melancholy
I was chosen as her ring man and accepted gratefully.
Managed her corner to the best of my ability...
The best moments of my life and shall forever be..
Yet I'm still haunted ......
And the sharply narrowing of the fields of what we wanted.........
Ever loomed ....vamping my energy.
Undaunted,
her opponent advanced
Relentlessly......
My chest heaves hands tied .....
Broken..
I fall to my knees
Severed forever my last tether
To humanity.
Most elegant warrior I have ever seen.
Knowing me
Could console me!
Sophisticated and obnoxious
Said her hair wasnt red ....
It was strawberry blonde
A little piece of insight.  
Known to nary run from a fight ......
Broke me fatters jaw ...
And me uncles too ..
On their wedding night...
None the less.......
And with such mischievous elegance
With the heart of a leprechaun
Hard not to say
She was simply complicated. .............
I marvel in the way
Her beauty still hasn't
Faded from me
epicenter of happiness and all that was good in me ....
She was my everything
Same hood,
Same team,
Understood ..... Completed me
The only one who truly loved me .
The lost champion ,
My lost companion ,
Savagely beaten to death
While I could only stand by and watch helplessly.
And in disbelief
Stroked her hair ,.....
Held her gently
And  the world lost all of  its humor, charm  and meaning.
As she breathed out and left me...with just  her body...in my arms
On new years eve.
And the silence is still maddening from the
No reply
As ...I  ...am faced with this insanity
As we became I put both her hands on my face
Cried quietly Mamma
Please don't leave me..
Rest in peace Mom I love you....
Her opponent?
Non small cell squamous
Lung cancer.
 Jan 2022 Ayesha
Pablo Neruda
Every day you play with the light of the universe.
Subtle visitor, you arrive in the flower and the water,
You are more than this white head that I hold tightly
as a bunch of flowers, every day, between my hands.

You are like nobody since I love you.
Let me spread you out among yellow garlands.
Who writes your name in letters of smoke among the stars of the south?
Oh let me remember you as you were before you existed.

Suddenly the wind howls and bangs at my shut window.
The sky is a net crammed with shadowy fish.
Here all the winds let go sooner or later, all of them.
The rain takes off her clothes.

The birds go by, fleeing.
The wind.  The wind.
I alone can contend against the power of men.
The storm whirls dark leaves
and turns loose all the boats that were moored last night to the sky.

You are here.  Oh, you do not run away.
You will answer me to the last cry.
Curl round me as though you were frightened.
Even so, a strange shadow once ran through your eyes.

Now, now too, little one, you bring me honeysuckle,
and even your ******* smell of it.
While the sad wind goes slaughtering butterflies
I love you, and my happiness bites the plum of your mouth.

How you must have suffered getting accustomed to me,
my savage, solitary soul, my name that sends them all running.
So many times we have seen the morning star burn, kissing our eyes,
and over our heads the grey light unwinds in turning fans.

My words rained over you, stroking you.
A long time I have loved the sunned mother-of-pearl of your body.
Until I even believe that you own the universe.
I will bring you happy flowers from the mountains, bluebells, dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses.
I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.
 Jan 2022 Ayesha
Oscar Wilde
The sky is laced with fitful red,
The circling mists and shadows flee,
The dawn is rising from the sea,
Like a white lady from her bed.

And jagged brazen arrows fall
Athwart the feathers of the night,
And a long wave of yellow light
Breaks silently on tower and hall,

And spreading wide across the wold
Wakes into flight some fluttering bird,
And all the chestnut tops are stirred,
And all the branches streaked with gold.
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