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Ayesha Aug 2023
پ
کہاں تک کو چلی پھرتی ہوں
چھوٹی چھوٹی گم راتوں میں

چھوٹی چلتی چلی باتوں میں
کیسے سنساں ہو جاتی ہوں

کیسے چھپی گلیوں سرہانے
اکسر رکی سی جاتی ہوں

اکسر ہی سیاہ سنم سایوں میں
ایسی جھکی سی جاتی ہوں

جیسے خدا کھلا کھڑا ہو کوی
جیسے مجھے بلا رہا ہو کوی

کیا کوی بلا رہا تو نہیں؟
یوں ہی پوچھتی جاتی ہوں

نہ رات، نہ رنگ، نہ راغ رنج
پھر بھی کھڑی سنتی رہتی ہوں

ایک شور سا سفید، ایک ڈانٹ جیسے
کیوں میں سب کچھ سہ جاتی ہوں

شام سمندر سڑکوں پر
سب بھول جاتی ہوں، سب بھول آتی ہوں

سب سکت شکستہ ساتھی اپنے
سب لپٹے لال لیے جاتی ہوں

کوی پوچھے جو نام تو مڑ کر
پھر کیوں تیرا ہی نام بتاتی ہوں

کیوں مدھم مسافر تجھے مٹا کر
خود اب بار بار بلاتی ہوں

بخستا سی یاد کے موڑ پر
خود اب انتظار کیے جاتی ہوں

بجھتے سماں کے چہرے پر
تجھے سجا کے دل بہلاتی ہوں

کیوں بہلتا ہے دل منافق میرا
   کیوں اسے قریب کیے جاتی ہوں

آہ، کم خواب چٹانی راتوں میں اب
کیوں میں رکی چلی جاتی ہوں
15/08/2023
Ayesha Aug 2023
Sombre heaven, you look just right in pink
Clothed and cloaked, silken limbs of ancient lore
Everything droops round the drape of your lace
My eyes stumbling lurking, running, returning

I will - I could take anything miniscule
Bare minimum, pitiful, pathetic, muggy
Bitter rain - but you refuse to yield, just like me
Is this why our touch fails so simply?
Because we're too similar for revolution?
Defeat has me nauseous, mildly in love

Sweet, sharp, a little painful, a little blue
You leave no scent when gliding by
10/08/2023
Ayesha Aug 2023
naivety slips
forbidden down
I wipe away
with sodden palms
I wipe the way
I slip in paint
wipe moody, spoiled,
wipe then a madness
little and brown
it is no one's fault
or no one's bad
it is rampant Less
stood up to life
with machine breaths
and human noise
sweet sky buckles
as it spreads its arms
rampart then, it is
like blindness
like stumble
forgive me
I know it is weak
when you are evil
I cannot help but break
01/04/2023
For Saad
Ayesha Jul 2023
The unbearable viscosity
Of the boredom of waiting
Gags and gapes, it growling
Has me swallowed
Into its grotesque throat

The fans purr, feathery,
Unpleasent. The lights buzz
In my brain, it scratches
A restless cat, churns
A gyring stomach

I turn an old song
Over and over on my tongue
Till the sombre juice
Is lost to my black insides
And the flavourless gum
Becomes a pebble

Sold, a piece in the pieces
Of the past - how many hours
Lost, faceless leaves, to dirt?
The endless rosary
Of mournful beads: stale,
Untouched by prayers, a
Mockery to God
25/07/2023
Ayesha Jul 2023
I am lost, and the cave is blue
All facets of it, some faded, some sure
Crystal tears flicker on the jagged
White eyes, the stones speak nothing
Merely blink as the turnings of lights
In keen grey wells of silence
My life, as a ragged brush, paints
The night to be raw and torn
Leaves the canvas blank for a moon
Throughout the sky are pinned
My letters to the world, flip-flopping
As wild wind horses hop about them
But in the day, in its darkness
I can recall nothing of the colours
The walls scuttle away from me
And the cave, though endless, shrinks
I sit down into the shape of an insect
And feel the firm embrace of lone
Of stone, I begin to feel myself of stone
I rush to the waters, they rush to me
Bleak blue turns me over, takes me
Through months, I sail its roudy mouth
Blissfully unseeing and faceless
Until the coin of the sun flips
And blackness washes everything clean
The sea still, sags to rock, entombs
Itself and me. I am lost, and the cave
Is blue
16/07/2023
Ayesha Jul 2023
All night long
I peel off layers of me
thinking up poetry
with my fingers and lips

the little moon melts
and melts
purer than fire

in the morning, I am wax again
undated
Ayesha Jun 2023
Winds, whistles
now all is quiet
paint-brush, sea
your lips moving
speaking nothing
your hands
expressive as ever
my words
causing a *****
by your feet
cluttering, cracking
as you step away

there is no noise
no chirps of the city
no tales of sleep
I run but the running
leads to nothing
I run not to run
or to reach;
perhaps to move
or to cause to move

But the movement
makes no change
the heart is far
the hands grasp each other
like mourning women
the sun is empty
the sky is full of it
houses reek of its reticence
and the people
are out of talks

summer is cold
white, dim, dusty and damp
the pages crinkle like cloth
and when I look up
you are headless

just shoulders, neck, arms
torso, legs
a presence, but
no voice
I speak, I cannot hear
You crumble
I crouch to collect
but I can grasp
at the quiet only
23/06/2023
To Crocks
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