a metal plate inside me, ever since—

It wants an escape and so do I
— trapped, we're both trapped.
They told me it wouldn’t come out without melting
So I collected some sticks, set fire to my lungs
—the smoke came out of my lips
in shrill screams— I’m a forest

And my blood, a scared squirrel;
runs up and down my depths
with a blazed tail. burns what it licks
—the bottom of my muddy grounds
trees trunks, branches, leaves and nails.
the bridge between my brain and I

and everything shuts down—all lights go off
in the dark, only fire remains
no one dances where she does, no one lives where—

and I turn the metal sheet over
and over the flames
It heats up, it cooks and turns red
its edges kiss my flesh and he winces
— melts—
dripping into the fire—
gone—
and I turn the metal sheet over and over
It blushes but never bleeds
dry like dead leaves, but never dies
doesn’t melt, nor soften,
doesn’t even breathe—

and the flesh keeps dripping and then rebuilds
and the dripping rebuilds the fire
and the fire rebuilds the smoke—
but the metal never melts

the smoke creeps out and I let it
Someone tells me to stop the noise
but I say I never said a word—
And they tell me to stop the noise
But I say I never said a world—

and the smoke comes out and I let it
and they tell me to stop the noise
but I don’t say I never said a word.

and the metal never melts, the fire never stops
and I never say a wo—

Someone clamps my mouth shut and I fall asleep,
turning the metal over the flames
turning—still turning.
Still turning.

Turn
       ing.
and all in me screams.
                             Turning over
             and over
and
over.
      and
          
—ov
        er.

and all in me screams.

Sky rests above this land
sky hangs bellow it—

and this world keeps spinning
and we keep running
we skip over the spiralling ropes
Jumping, ever jumping—
afraid to get strangled up
afraid to kiss the ground

What if this land tore open—
ripped and ripped till it were two
who would take us—

for we keep running and running
and we jump over the ropes
we jump then jump over again,
searching for wings on our arid backs
—we’d sail away if we could
and oh the worlds we’d see!
and secrets unleash

so we keep running and running
elevating our hopes up and up
till we’re one in the winds
but we never fly—
We fear the fall
afraid to wade into the unpredictable yonder
to rely solely on mercy of the grey bellow
—it entombs the people we loved and knew
feasting upon them, patiently
and nothing we can do will ever make it better

so we keep running and running
to keep warm our freezing hearts
but we cry only ice, it rolls down our bodies,
setting our flesh on fire, but we keep running
chasing the horizon where
sky is known to open her arms

but what lies above the sky
and if the ground split open
where would we go—

We laugh our questions away
and answers never sail our way
but then we blend in dirt and they lift us off
in their quiet arms; take us away
Where all’s to be seen and all’s to be heard
but there’s no one left,
and if a void is never seen or heard
what is there of the void but nothing

what lies above the sky
is it where all dead go
or where all unborn meet—
Is it where no one lives
or where no dies—

but its nothing we haven’t seen
for we implant our homes
not among the clouds but right here
on this broken land—
where no one lives and no one dies;
no dead leave and no unborn are new

and we keep running and running
for the world keeps spinning and
twisting and turning like a giant ball of clay
and we keep running and running--
mere pawns in an eternal play

we skip and we skip over the ropes
we then spin them for others
and watch them skip—
whirl away laughing when some
stumble and fall; these are our games
we keep laughing and laughing
hoping to laugh it all away

but we build our emerald halls
and dance in euphoric stalls
We invent new lands among the stars;
Tales of stollen dreams and made up hopes
tales of heroic norms and perfect forevers

and we smile in the starts and
we smile in the ends—
drink under our jewelled roofs and
Sleep with our flowers and pearls,
we paint this sky on our dreams
and remember it in our poems

But we’re not happy
But we’re not happy—
But we’re not happy.

and if this bruised land
that starves for our flesh
split open—

Where would we go?

The storm limps away into the night
I follow along--

out of an enigmatic temptation, I dare not fathom
I once visited the ocean they said was in love with the shore
they told me to walk bare foot on that ****** sand,
and breathe in the rosy winds
said it would help calm my ravenous heart
Ocean, they said would hear all my unsung screams

said if I gave myself to the dust, it would crawl up on me
and cover the naked of my shivering being like a wool blanket

I sat with my legs in the shallow water
and watched the giggling waves winding over each other
the sturdy tides curtly calming them down
only to be disturbed again by sudden callous gusts
Ocean, they said, would wake the child in me

running through the alleys, I call after the raging winds
but the night dozes soundly to sleep.

I walked bare foot but the seashells poked at my skin
as if desperately reaching for the flesh, or I think they did
closed my eyes; and oh the devils that I saw,
dancing their charm out; seduced, I forgot the flowery air,
but I know I inhaled it for I still feel the rose-thorns ***** my throat

The horizon smiled at me as I drew away my lids
I watched the lacy white waves ebb away
hoping they would take along what of me was left to carry

I follow you around, sailing through my vivid seas,
noting down the shrinking moons.
hoping to reach you but then I reach a village,
full of ancient wells and old kids
I wander through fields reeking with grass,
and through moors starving for it
Hoping to reach you but then I reach a city
full of luxurious graves and flooded streets
and so busy do I get tasting new drinks
and walking through puzzling, shining halls
that I forget about you or the old blue void calling me home

But that lasts for mere centuries--
Until one day some sudden chirp brings something back
a morning breeze so saltier than before
and when I see the familiar fields far away
the trees thinking, the bushes sleeping
somewhere behind the unmoving crowd,
a thin colourless line ,where the sky kisses the earth
calls out to me, singing its alluring ballads, someone familiar,
Almost a friend.

So I set off and run along the paths that lead me to you
drinks clink but I run off, villagers offer me roofs but I sail away
days blinking by, dozing off cautiously at nights,
feasting upon wild roots I run off for you, an almost friend.

And you’re there, right there, here I come, one jump away
your hand mere inches away from mine
your sound right next to my ears, whispering
forever teasing, sneaking away silently as I come closer
Like a hungry bull, I try reaching for the apple hanging by my horns

This blazed sky is no home.

When I lie on the sand
I only feel the little pearls climbing my body like ants,
They reach the top of me, pin in their nails and tie up their ropes
I wriggle and I scream then I tire and still
This is not falling asleep at all.
I feel like being dragged away into the snarling mouth of a cave
where the only noise is that of metal striking metal
knives spanking stones, daggers sighing in relief
as they slice smoothly through a skin so mine
Slow, shy sounds of my blood dripping down,
embracing the rugged ground and never letting go
Slow groaning, cracking of bones as they let go.
vessels—Oh so lovely—vessels only laughing

So I sit up.
I sit in the waves and watch them flutter about me
silently I sway along with the air, tides they greet and go
I wish they’d take me along wherever they went
maybe one day they’d leave me exhausted on an empty shore
and I’d look at the ever widening sky and be home

But they leave me behind on my very own land—
They ebb away from the shore they’re in love with
and she never follows.