I met you
When I was
At a very strange stage
Of my life
All the faces had lost their identity
And were nothing but a blur
Till they blended into the background
Gone unnoticed
The same way they had come
And you were just the same
Among the dead memories and the ashes left
You were just one of the many's
Till on a cold night
I saw the spark you were giving
You were reaching out for me
I wondered why
I was curious where this might lead
I was the cold leaf
That then remained wet on the ground
Because it is a nature's rule
What goes up
Must witness a  scary down
I was denying the law of gravities
Being caressed by the wind
Till a thunderstorm came
And shook the very root
Of my being
And it was during that descent I realised
The high is never worth
The fall that follows
But you reminded me of the smell of spring
I never thought I would live to feel
I decided to watch from a distance
While you kept closing in on me
Your eyes penetrating through
Layers I had made
Not quite sure if they were there for my benefit
Or to bury me alive
I probed and poked to make sure
You were not another trick
Of this devious vile
We call life
Your steps, never hesitating,
I warned you
Your sparks will have no effect
On a leaf soaked in depression
You picked me up
Wiped the traces of the rain
The rain
I thought will never end
And held me in your palm
Like I was not dirt..
But a flower you found
In a field of weeds
Like I was the most precious thing
You had come across
One's garbage, another's gold
But I don't want to go high
Oh no please not another fall
But i like
The gentle touch of yours
Treating me with care
When every thing else is just friction
I like the warmth you radiate
When all I have been doing
Is shiver alone in the cold
I wonder if you can see
I'm trying my best not to lean further
Just closest I can get
Without actually touching
Cause one fine day
You'll see
I'm not a flower
But a drenched leaf
I hope you don't drop me
When the realisation comes
Creeping in

And I was falling,
So fast
Reducing constantly
To become nothing

And I was barely breathing
A heart forced to beat
Eyes bloodshot
But you could not see

And you were blinded
From the self-despair and pity
A heart
Torn and stomped all over

And you were shaking
From the tremors
only You could feel
But I could not steady your hands

I was waiting for you to save me,
I forgot magic only happens when you least expect it
You were waiting for me to notice
You forgot I was too caught up fighting my own battles

You were bitter
Over the times I had let you go
You forgot
I loved you w every ounce of my being
I was broken
Over the times you did not care enough
I forgot
You are a human with your own limits

And so we fell apart
In the most common ways
We forgot what we had
Because we were too busy grieving what the other person lacked

And now that the end is near
I see where we went wrong
I loved you and you loved me
But love
is almost never enough

And I got my wish
With my last breath I took your name
The earth shook,the sky turned black,
This is my last farewell
I'll never see you again

I hope that
When she finally says yes
And the thrill of pursuing ends
You sigh
And twist and turn in your bed
Allowing yourself to accept
She will never love you
Like I can

I hope
When she finally holds your hand,
With a dull pain in your heart
That slowly transfers through your veins
And spreads to every joints, every cell
You realise
She'll never appreciate your warmth
Like I can

I hope
When she finally kisses you,
In that moment of heavenly bliss,
Your body pulls back alarmed
The love, the breathlessness you got used to
Is no longer there
She will never crave for you
Like I can

I hope
When she reads her favorite poetry to you
You wonder if it is Still you
Who I'm writing about
And with a reluctance your mind realises
She can not lure you into traps with her words
Not like I can

I hope
When you look into those eyes
Their color similar to yours
But not even a pale representation of the feelings mine held
Oh boy,
Maybe you'll carry this burden with you
In your grave
Cause she will never love you
Like I can

Would I still be me
If I did not have
These fancy words to bleed

I'm the pebbles in my pocket
That keeps me drowning
Farther into depth
I'm the frigging rescue boat too
And I'm yet learning
how to deal with that

I like to sit and watch
The world
Never bothering to participate
I like to live in my past
And wish on the stars
That are long dead


would I still be me
If I did not have
these fancy words to bleed

I'm the only cloud in my own sky
Blotting a perfect view.
I'm the blazing sun too.
And I'm trying to learn how
To take responsibility
If It rains down on me

I like to dodge away
All these sad incidences
I turn them into art, When they hit me
I like to use my words
To guide me out of my own head; It's the only time i make sense to myself


Would I still be me
If I did not have
these fancy words to bleed?

I'm the lonely dandelion
Having myself blown away
To the ten directions
I'm the wind too
Challenging everything that
Gets in my way

I like to look at the trees
I like to have the wind whisper my name
I would like to be you
I would like to be him
Without ever losing the essence
Of my true self


Would I still be me
If I did not have
these fancy words to bleed

Would it be a cliché
If I say
the element
Of my nightmares
Is mostly her in your arms

Would it be a cliche
If I tell
You made a house
In my thoughts,
A permanent occupant.

Would it be a cliche
If I admit
The first light of day
Seems so heavy on my brows,
Without having you to wake up to.

Would it be a cliché
If I confess
You are the only one I can write about,
My words have a way of evolving
Themselves around you

Would it be a cliche
If my heart aches
At the way you say her name
You voice so gentle, barely concealing
The longings you have.

Would it be a cliche
If I say
The main element
Of my nightmares
Is her in your arms

His eyes,
Blacker than the darkest
Midnight sky,
Might just save
My black heart.

His lips,
The gentle shade
Of a rose bud,
Is the reason why
I have "attention deficit" disorder

His smile
Just like the sun light
Breaking through the mist of
Doubts and lies
Guides me

His innocence
A glimpse of which
I find in every toddler's smile
Reminds me
To save mine

He is not
the guy I expected myself to be with
But he is the reason that keeps me
From flying too close
To the sun

His mind
Does not get most of my
metaphoric reference
But his hand holds mine
And steadies my shaky foundation

And maybe if you just hang in there
You'll see You did not get
what you want Cause
some greater  possiblilty out there is seeking you

My body ached
I felt bruised
Stretched to the limits
I felt physically abused.

My insides were moved
To different locations
It felt unreal
It was a surreal sensation.

My back hurt
My bones shifted
I felt sick
The pain persisted.

I felt like being ripped
From the inside out
They watched and waited
As I continued to shout.

Oh! The pain!
Oh! The discomfort!
I lay there out of breath
As I pushed with all my effort.

One last great push
It will soon end
I screamed
I shouted

Then stillness
Silence fell
My head plopped back
I felt like I was under a spell.

The silence was broken
By a piercing wail
It sounded like an angel
And you were unveiled.

Nothing ached anymore
There you are
My little angel
My little shining star.