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 Dec 2020 atticus wilson
Ayesha
to those who randomly go around disliking comments:
I hope it makes you happy.
I also wish I could punch you in the face
 Dec 2020 atticus wilson
Ayesha
breathe—
like mint shrub under a drizzle,
Ink clawing it’s way up a quill
Like lemon grass growing
Like steam rising from a cup of tea
Like parchment.

Like confetti circling a cyclone
Like a whip kissing skin
a branch cracking
Like chalk against cement,
Like nails on sandpaper
Like glitter.
breathe—

But sometimes I lie straight on my back
Under a heavy quilt—
let my limbs slump away, let my fingers sink
weakly into sheets
And I think,
this is how we die—
Insipid eyes blanketed by skin
A book incomplete—closed midway, without a mark.
They may tie our chin and skull with a strip of cloth
to prevent our loose jaw from falling open,
this— is how we die

Like the carcass of Morning Glory
hanging— swaying in the wind
Like coal left behind by a burning log,
Like a dusty painting.
Like a moor.

No wings sprout out of our jagged backs
they put us in a box and clothe us in dirt
No earthworms spare our clotted blood
Clouds don’t come bowing down
nor does sky break to shards— for our escape.
solid bricks, we never did mind sleep
nor the warmth or tight embrace of our beds
the world's too big anyway— for our shrinking selves

Silence—
Like a beetle crawling down a leaf
the ocean behind a portrait
Like moon, yawning
Like a folded paper, filled with scribbles
Like dusk.

Like a still child.
a tongueless nightingale up a bough
Like words in a bottled letter.
Like rubble under smoke
Like a palette, unwashed.
Like a bone.
Silence—

And someone knocks under you—
You dig out the coffin and break open its lid
But it’s filled, to the brim, with mud.

And time spirals on—
Pushing us behind, and we fight against it.
A puppet tied to the sky,
wishing to see the end of an abyss
Like a stone under the ocean, dreaming of stars
breathe—
Like a newborn leaf.
breathe—

But the time spirals on—
and we, with the dirt, reunite.
but breathe,
it's just a night.
breathe--
the air hasn't banished-- not yet
not yet

not yet--
 Dec 2020 atticus wilson
unnamed
the sky is crushing my shoulders
yet they watch and tell me to
brace my knees
 Dec 2020 atticus wilson
unnamed
his lips press against my own
somewhere in the universe,
supernovas explode,
and the impact echos in my core
 Dec 2020 atticus wilson
unnamed
everything and nothing shifts all at once
 Dec 2020 atticus wilson
Jen
Let go and release,
Yourself from the feed.

They can no longer reach you
In a place you feel safe.

That's when you are freed,
That's when you finally see,
What you are meant to be.

Maybe just a whisper
Compared to vast mountains
They climb oh so high.

Maybe just a speck
Of glimmering light
Next to their spotlights.

It doesn't matter
How big or small

Just remember
Your heart.

Never give in
To the fall

Let go, and release
Yourself from
The feed

No longer haunted,
Let your spirit
Be freed

Just listen for a whisper,
A speck of glimmering light.
Haven't been online as much due to the real life hustle but was inspired tonight when relaxing and listening to music. Peace and love ♥
so the assignment was to write about
what the perfect
vacation would look like

and he wrote about
running away from home and
stealing a car
and running people over

robbing a gas station
assaulting and beating
a lady in the restrooms

shooting the cops
smashing their heads in

and at the end driving the car
into a wall and
dying with a shitload of money
and a lady’s head in
the trunk

“Your kid seems very…
troubled,” said the
teacher

“Oh my God!” said the mother. “No,
it’s his father…”

“Hm? His father treats him…
inappropriately you mean?”

“Well, you see… no actually.
His father doesn’t spend
much time with him. He is
a writer…”

“Oh. I see.”
https://drbogdan.home.blog/2020/11/28/its-okay-his-fathers-a-writer/
 Nov 2020 atticus wilson
FreeMind
One day, I will wake up with the dreadful realization that I have spent my youth following the rules of my strict, conservative, religious parents.
And despite my love for them, I will look back at my teenage years reliving one mistake. Dating a boy who used me.
I would have learned from that mistake. I would have grown form it.

But I will still look back, wondering why I haven't gone out as much. Why I stopped making friends. Why I never partied. Why I never did anything spontaneous. Why the night before dyeing my hair purple I decided to cancel my appointment so I could avoid facing the disapproval from my parents. Once again.

It is hard to be the child of a dyeing nation.
A nation that is glorified for pride and honor.
But where sexism and homophobia exists.

I will remain the brown haired girl that stays at home and studies on a Friday night. That spends her Saturdays reading books about the life she will never experience. Hoping that she dies before realizing that her life has been a waste.
November 28, 2020
#136

I have disappointed her once, and I will not do it again.
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