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Anthony Esposito Oct 2021
When your English teacher said you could write they lied.
When they said your work was far beyond those in your class, they meant similar.
All those sleepless nights just to write the perfect sentence, only for them not to acknowledge your plights.
When you wanted great you got good.
When you wanted to excel you floundered below.
To bask in their gaze of approval was your dream.
A nightmare of disapproval was your reality.
In the back of the class you wrote till your fingers went numb.
Juggling words for your poetic symphony circus.
All to be told it wasn't enough.
But you, you had earned this.
This grit and that tough.
A words man found like a diamond in the rough.
In the trenches of your English class.
Your Teacher was lying when they said you weren't good enough.
Aug 2021 · 142
Chemtrails
Anthony Esposito Aug 2021
Some kids followed rainbows
I followed the chemtrails
And at the end there was no gold
Just darkness and cold
And a headstone that read
Adolescence was dead.

And in the fall they shipped you out
to boarding school
Just so they could play rich
Every story that they told
Was a lie so you’d grow old
And not question anything.

And in your eyes
I see the chemtrails again
From that day
When you lost your innocence
Staring up into the sky
And you swore you felt alive

Still have the yearbook
where you wrote me that message
Haven’t opened it in years
We haven’t talked since that fight
About the plane ticket and flight
And how this was probably our last night

And in your teary eyes
I see the chemtrails again
From that day
When you lost your innocence
Staring up at the sun
I remember it was fun
Aug 2021 · 111
Wild man
Anthony Esposito Aug 2021
Had big dreams
They told ya you were crazy
You planted the seeds
But they never got to growing
Just dying weeds

In a small town
They tried to **** your dreams
A wild man they made you seem
I guess you can be considered
Crazy even in your dreams

Bartender raising two kids
Just trying to make ends meet
Wild man giving you a hard time
He just wants a drink
An escape from living on the streets

Everyone tries to ignore him
But he demands attention
Shouts when he speaks
Owner says pay him no mind
He’s been doing this all week

There’s a brush fire
Out on the hill
Started by a wild man
He has some crazy ideals

The smoke sticks to your skin
Ruins everything
Like the pep rally
He would have cheered for the other team
He was in love with the head cheerleader
Married her in his dreams

Went out drinking with the boys
If your gunna do something do it right
He took the car out
Like a wild man into the night

And at the funeral they bowed their heads
The priest says something nice
There’s talks amongst his friends
About a wild man who met his end
He was a wild man until the end
May 2021 · 528
Bora Bora
Anthony Esposito May 2021
Black cloud over you
Your a prisoner to you
Stuck in your mind
So many times
You’ve lost count

You’ve seen better days
In many ways
This is an ok day for you
Can’t seem to do anything
This has got the best of you

So let’s take that trip
To Bora Bora.
Let’s just runway from here.
We can go anywhere but here.

I Said the wrong thing
It wasn’t your fault I swear
It didn’t mean anything
Just a funny joke
That didn’t land where it was supposed to

Oh it may be harder then it looks.
Maybe the answers aren’t in those books
Medication doesn’t taste that good to you
I’m on your side but pull the trigger if it would make you feel good.

So let’s take that trip
To Bora Bora.
Let’s just runway from here.
We can go anywhere but here
Mar 2021 · 125
Devoured
Anthony Esposito Mar 2021
You smoke menthol
and I don’t
You don’t laugh
but I do
I only just met you
But I feel like Ive always known you
Your not from this part of town
Your not even from this state
And I miss you even when you’ve only gone out of site from my face
But that’s silly you’d say
Because you’ll never feel that way
About me or anyone
It’s you, and your all alone
In the fantasy you see in your head
So we bond while we self medicate
Become who we’ve grown to hate
The mirror ain’t lying
That’s you, you see dying
Wake up from this terrible dream
The mall parking lot
has stretched out and devoured
What’s left of the suburbs
And the people live in towers so high
While you laugh as you cry
Don’t go into the light
Feb 2021 · 133
Home
Anthony Esposito Feb 2021
What if you were the skeletons in your own closet
And waiting for someone to come find you and wake you up
But when they do, you wish you could go back
To pretending like everything was fine,
there in the pitch black

You wanna make this work
But it harder then it looks
They don’t tell you this in school
Sometimes I know life seems cruel
But you just be cruel right back
Don’t ever look back

You float together like ghosts
Over the whole **** world
As you watch it burn, you think
But God does this feels like home

A triggered kid in the cross walk
An Altima with a judgmental face behind the steering wheel
Oh to feel like a kid again
To feel rebellious and alive again

To roam this town like a wondering gypsy
Till the shadows danced on the pavement
To be naive to a broken heart
Or to learn how to wield it

You float together like ghosts
Over the whole **** world
As you watch it burn, you think
but God does this feels like home
Feb 2021 · 308
Superman
Anthony Esposito Feb 2021
I wish I could be like Superman.
Causing destruction everywhere I go, yet people cheer for me.

A symbol for peace, and all that's right, yet I occasionally take down a building.

I want people to chant my name, and call for me when they need me.
relish in my site, and think of me when I'm not around.

I want to be Superman for all of his short comings.
I want to wear the S
Feb 2021 · 101
Push it down
Anthony Esposito Feb 2021
These cages are over flown
This rage has no home
It’s just dragged from place to place
And you can see it on each face

They don’t know where they belong
But they go on and on
And they don’t complain at all
And it all just seems so out of control

You gotta find some stability
Im grasping at air
Im pulling out my hair
No escape from what we know

So far it a horror show
We are scared by what we know
There is no calm here anymore
Say goodbye to what you know

If you once believed in love
Just throw that away and push it down
I don’t know why you blame yourself
You were born into this hell

I welcome you to figure it out
We’ve tried and look where we ended up
Just push it down and let it go
Don’t let them tell you what you know

Just push it down and let it go
They can’t tell you who you are
Just push it down and let it go
You aren’t in Kansas anymore
Dec 2020 · 116
Fate
Anthony Esposito Dec 2020
In what was his fifth cigarette of the night, the boy lit it like clockwork at 11::00pm on the dot. The smoke hovered around his head for a moment before evaporating.    He stared up at the black canvas sky that was empty, besides a few stars that shown through the dark. What a sad sight Indeed.
All the light pollution from the city made it impossible to see barely any stars on any given night. The boy knew this, but was always disappointed still.

   There was no mini mart, just an office with a bathroom and a small heated booth outside with a cash registers and a chair. The gas pumps lay untouched for a few hours now. The gas station was always slow at this time but tonight was especially slow. The boy kept busy by sweeping the ground every now and then.
The station was off the highway near an exit ramp, in an area with few people, and nothing really worth stopping for. It was almost a god send when a car would roll through now and then and get some gas. Even still, no one seemed to be making their way to this station tonight.

   A few hrs had passed and finally the silence was broken around 1:05am when an old black charger came off the exit and rolled into the station. The boy was in his little booth, watching the car slowly pull along side pump number 2. He pulled the sliding door of his booth open and walked up to the car. The driver side window slowly rolled down about half way.
A cloud of cigarettes smoke barreled out and a red ember lit the darkness. A strong smell that reminded the boy of the aftershave his father used to wear hit his nose. A man sat dressed in black and wearing sunglasses. Music played in the background, low enough just to make out something was playing.

Hey.

How you doing tonight sir?

Oh, just fine, just fine. Fill her up Regular.

Ok. Just gotta let you know the credit machine is down. So we can only take cash tonight.

The machine had been broken since the boy got on shift. The guy he took over for said it broke and he didn’t know how to fix it, neither did the boy, but he knew the manger knew how. But he wouldn’t be in until the morning.


Well that’s an inconvenience, don’t you think?

Yeah, I’m sorry but I can’t fix it until my manger comes in, and that won’t be until the morning.

You don’t say?

Yea, I apologize.

What if I don’t got any cash?

I’m sorry but I wouldn’t be able to help you.

   The man in the driver seat stared into the boys eyes. An emptiness exuded from him. He wore glasses and yet they still pierced through him. The smoke hovered around him, almost stagnant and he sat in this cloud of smoke just gazing.
The boy was taken back.
He gathered himself and said again:

If you have cash I can help you, If not I can’t give you any gas.

Yeah, I heard you the first time.

I guess I have to give you cash then, huh?

Yeah, again I’m sorry man.

Don’t be sorry,  not yet. It’s not right yet,
You haven’t earned it.

I’m sorry?

   The boy felt the uneasiness creep through him. He started to get anxious. The emptiness of the station started to feel much larger than before.
  The man in the driver seat sat silent. The low humming of the radio broke through the awkward silence. The music  ate through the tension like white noise. No one was coming anytime soon, it was clear.

You the only one here?

  The boy looked confused and was over the questions.

Yea, I’m working the graveyard shift. You want gas or no?

Don’t be rude. You ain’t got the right.

Listen, if you don’t want gas i don’t know what I can do for you.

You got cigarettes?

Yes.

Oh, so you can help me after all.

If you have cash, yes.

Oh, your really not being helpful. It’s a shame.

I’m sorry. I told you the machine was broken, and I can't fix it without the manager.

Yeah, I heard you.

   The lights buzzed above head. The wind was still. It was as if the driver and the boy were the only one out there, maybe even the only ones left on earth to the boy. Fear ran through him. He kept hoping someone else would come driving down off the exit ramp. He kept looking for head lights, but nothing.
And then like it was never even on, the music stopped. The window rolled all the way down. The man sat in silence, smirking. He ran his hands through his brittle dark brown hair. He turned and looked to the dark to his right. Taking stock, he turned and looked back into the boys eyes.

You believe in fate kid?

Not really.  Do want gas or no?

Forget about the gas.

What do you mean?

It ain’t important anymore. Do you believe in fate, is the question right now.

What do you mean, do you want gas or no?

Don’t worry about the gas I said!
******* it, forget about the gas!
I asked about fate. What do you have to say about fate?
Why is it always about gas with you?
Don’t be a fool kid.
Now I’m trying to help you. If you don’t want my help then hey, just say so.

I don’t want any trouble man.

Fate brought me here kid. So trouble found you whether you wanted it to or not.

Now I’m gunna ask you one more time.
Do you believe in fate?



  The sun was barely up when the manager pulled in off the exit ramp and into the station. He was surprised he didn’t see the boy at first but thought nothing of it. He checked the office but it was empty. The boys car sat where it always did.
He saw nothing that was out of the ordinary. He observed that the cash register had not been touched, and it had appeared as if no one had really come through, which was the case most nights. Everything was how it should have been, except the boy  was nowhere to be found.
He did think to himself it was weird the boy was not there. It was very unlike him to just leave before his shift was over, especially without his car.
Yet he could not be found anywhere near or around the gas station.                                          The manager decided he should call the boys parents. They said they had not seen him, and said he hadn’t come home yet. The manager decided he should call the police.


   The officer stood beneath the station roof. Sunglasses on. Pants pulled up. Badge glistening in the morning sunlight. He was questioning the manger.

Could it have been he just went home?

No sir, I called his parents. They said he hadn’t come home. And even if he did, I don’t think he would leave his car here

Oh. Does he do this normally?

No sir, he’s a pretty reliable kid.

Any signs something could have went wrong? Cameras?

No sir. We don’t have cameras,  never got them installed. It’s just not like him, you see. I’m Just worried is all.

I can understand that. Can’t really do much unless his parents file a missing persons report.

Well he had to have gone somewhere. He couldn’t have vanished. It’s so unlike him.

The manager could tell the officer would be no help. But he could feel it in his gut. The kid woldn’t have just left. Something was wrong.
The officer stood staring at the cloudless sky.
He cleared his throat and rubbed the sweat from his forehead.

You know sometimes people just leave.
Sometimes it’s just fate. It just happens, people just up and decide they want to live a different life. No word to their families or nothing. I’ve seen it before. Maybe this is that?

The manger didn’t respond. He knew that couldn’t have been it. He knew the boy. This wasn’t like him.
What could have happened?
Where did he go?
May 2020 · 129
Drive
Anthony Esposito May 2020
A dark and lonely road
A cars headlights hit the dark like snow
A song you hate but play again and again
No plan or direction just leather in your hand

Just drive
Just drive into the night
Thoughts dancing In your head
You just want to feel alive

Just drive
Leaving all of this behind
Your memories of ghost
Don’t look back if you want to survive

Street lights dancing in your eyes
Like stars hanging from the sky
You just drive
Just drive into the night

Nobody knows where you are
Nobody asked where you were
Nobody seems to care
I know your driving somewhere out there
Anthony Esposito May 2020
Lighting struck the field
And fire started to spread
And everyone ran for the hills

But not you
Not now
You stood like a Queen without a crown

As the winds fanned the flames
The smoke chocked the air
A smile overtook your face

What joy
It brought to you
To watch the world burn

The moon light shined down
And the stars seemed closer then ever
And you stood like a goddess consumed in pleasure

The people doused the flames with water
But in the end it was In vane
The crops had been destroyed

Was this God?
Was this fate?
To you it did not matter.

This is the part where you find yourself
This is life on earth
This is not the end

When the sun finally appeared
There were only ashes
There were only tears

But not you
No fear
You haven’t seen the sky so blue in years

This is the part where you find yourself
This is life on earth
There is nothing else

This is the part where you find yourself
This is life on earth
This is not the end
May 2020 · 90
There is nowhere on earth
Anthony Esposito May 2020
The universe is big
Just like this room
Your on the other end of the bar
Feels like miles apart

This dim light is comforting
The loud noise is deafening
But when I see you
It all goes mute

There is nowhere on earth
That I would rather be then right now
I could not imagine any other way
With any other soul but you
The only thing that’s real is you

This cigarette taste great
Your lips taste better
No amount of alcohol could make you look any better than you do right now

A street light
A crowded street
Your eyes focused on me
The city never sleeps

There is nowhere on earth
That I would rather be then right now
I could not imagine any other way
With any other soul but you
The only thing that’s real is you

I don’t pray
but I would pray for you
Make this last forever
I only want you

I caught fire
You sparked the flame
My heart was the rag
And you were the gasoline

There is nowhere on earth
That I would rather be then right now
I could not imagine any other way
With any other soul but you
The only thing that’s real is you

These cold dark nights
Always end up teaching us things
Like how to fall in love
And what it all could mean

They don’t tell you to watch out for it
And how it sneaks up on you
Sometimes it comes to you as a girl
On the other side of the room

There is nowhere on earth
That I would rather be then right now
I could not imagine any other way
With any other soul but you
The only thing that’s real is you
May 2020 · 93
Switch
Anthony Esposito May 2020
Prom queen without a crown
Stuck in a small town
Her dreams got away faster than she could run
Always wondering of what he’s become
She always falling a step behind
Harboring memories of bad times

Someone pulled the switch in her basement
Now her souls gone dark
She needs some light
she needs a fire, burning in her heart.
This ain’t make believe anymore
This is growing up.

Had Big dreams of a city
Saw yourself living there
But there ain’t no skyscrapers you can see from here
the bar gets crowded from time to time
But there ain’t much action there.

You tell yourself it gets better then this
As you knocked another back.
And as it hits your lips it takes you back
To that place and that kiss.
That touch that you miss.

Someone pulled the switch in her basement
Now her souls gone dark
She needs some light
she needs a fire, burning in her heart.
This ain’t make believe anymore
This is growing up.
Jan 2020 · 118
The good times
Anthony Esposito Jan 2020
Well you swallowed your class in that last whiskey glass
As the lights began to rise.
And they’re calling last call
As your calling out
For someone to play your favorite song.
Oh long nights I remember
Most I want to forget
But I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Born in 89
About time I’ve found the time
To witness so much beauty
In the face of another.
Have another glass.
Calm your nerves at last
And try to remember
Where you’ve been and who’ve you loved.
Cause time passes.
Just ask our parents, parents.
Just try to remember the good times.
Dec 2019 · 109
On from there
Anthony Esposito Dec 2019
He had gold  watch
And wedding ring
From a marriage that was over
A few kids
And a life to live

He went to sleep
And never woke up again
And he left behind everything

Just some memories
And a face that gets blurry at times
Photographs and sentimental things
I am always thinking of him

Hey bartender pour another shot
And take me away from here
I could use a little immunity from fear
Some courage to remember
Some will to forgive
It is what it is.
Dec 2019 · 205
The rain came
Anthony Esposito Dec 2019
In what was probably fate, the rain came.
Crashing down on roof tops and side walks.
But today of all days?
it figures with my luck.
Never sun shine and no traffic.
Just rain and red lights.

I hate the rain.
I wish it would go away.
Maybe I should do a rain dance and make it disappear.
Mr. Rain man they would call me.

Calling it on account of rain.
I’m not available.
The rain came and ruined it all.
Dec 2019 · 160
Slow dance
Anthony Esposito Dec 2019
It was a slow dance in the dark
That would lead to a broken heart
Though at the moment it was real and pure.

A castle we both built from love
A high you’ve never felt before
And as it crumbled we watched from a far.

We were so alive
We thought we knew it all
But what did we know?
We’re did we go wrong?

It was a slow dance in the dark
That would lead to a broken heart
Though at the moment it was real and pure.

So how can this be?
How did we end up here?
Do we really not get a happy ending?
Do we just walk away?

It was a slow dance in the dark
That would lead to a broken heart
Though at the moment it was real and pure.

Can we have just one more slow dance?
Can we please just go back
To the dark
To one more slow dance.
Sep 2019 · 130
A show
Anthony Esposito Sep 2019
There’s a girl
That I know
That I love
Does it show?
She’s so warm
I’m so cold
Will it work?
I don’t know.

What do we know?
What  can we possibly know?
Is it all specilation?
It’s all a show.

Take a bow.
Your trick worked.
You’ve fooled them all.
What a show.
What a script.
You followed it so well.
Right down to the point.
You ought to know.
I don’t know.

What do we know?
What can we possibly know?
It’s all speculation
It’s a show
Sep 2019 · 203
The way
Anthony Esposito Sep 2019
You are always on my mind
And I am always in a daze
Thinking of yesterday and tomorrow
I am searching for
A sign to show me
And all I’m askin for
Is a sign to show me
Show me the way

And all I know is what I’ve seen
And only I know what I believe
So I am searching for a sign
To show me the way
And all I’m asking for
Is a sign to show me the way
Sep 2019 · 195
For this moment now
Anthony Esposito Sep 2019
The burden of reality starts to set in
You start to realize what this has been
You pull the mask off of this fake conciseness

And start to tip toe through this murky **** show
Shadows on the wall start to take shape
Your paranoid agenda starts to shift

Taking aim at all of your bad memories
I wish that I could pick your mind
To see which one of them is of me.

So let go

Cursing the past in whispers and screams
Blaming others instead of  taking the blame
Your sky is getting grey
The sun has gone away
Your finding it gets darker everyday

You pick and analyze
Judge and repeat
Curse and belittle
Your anger is burrowing  deep
I wish you only peace

So let go

Imagine the possibility
Of living life as if it were a dream
And being at peace like it came easily
Dancing through life like you see on tv
No anger or sadness just being happy.
The temptations are real
And so is this life
I hope your realize sooner than not.

So let go
Sep 2019 · 107
Someone’s Son
Anthony Esposito Sep 2019
I am someone’s son
But know I am more
We are from somewhere and someone.
A life from another
A passing of a torch
A gift from above or something of the sort

You are someone’s daughter
You belong to her
Untill your grown and gone
And she’s left all alone

Some of us never knew our  fathers
Some  of us wish we did
But it doesn’t matter
Maybe it never did.

I am someone’s son
I am someone’s torch
I am am someone’s reason to carry forth
And we go on.
Aug 2019 · 217
Douchebag
Anthony Esposito Aug 2019
My coworker called me a ******* today.
It hurt, but I guess that’s ok.

I’ll carry it with me like I do most things, on most days.

On my way home from work, with the sun glaring in my eyes, the red light stared me down.
A nagging thought followed me back to my town.

I’m not a ******* I thought.

Back at the place where I lay my head.
My dinner sits cold on the table.
My mind spinning with a single, torturous thought.

I am not a *******.

The night comes, as it always does.
The sun hides away, while the moon comes out to play.

As I sit in the dark, focused on the infinite darkness.
I can’t help but think.

I am not a *******.
Jul 2019 · 137
Lost on me
Anthony Esposito Jul 2019
‘Twas a gust of wind against my face
That woke me to the evil of this place
And I knew from that moment on
I would live to hate the wonder and charm
It was lost on me
Something was lost in me
Quiet screams inside my head
You wish you knew what was said
But this silcence is all you get
And your angry stare and look of shock
It was lost on me
Something was lost in me
So we separate and leave the dust unsettled
All was lost on me
Something was lost in me
Jun 2019 · 180
I must go.
Anthony Esposito Jun 2019
Little light in the dark
Guid me home,
Don’t leave me all alone.
Away from here very far
To a place I’d adore.
I can’t igore how I feel.
This love isn’t real.
No more.
No more.
I must go.
Beating heart please be still
I can’t take anymore
I need peace and quite
To remember how to breath.
I need love  and affection to remember what is real.
No more.
No more.
I must go.
And to think I thought I loved you.
And to believe in something untrue
Is a heartbreak I wish on no one.
Not even you.
No more.
No more.
I must go.
Jun 2019 · 151
The garden
Anthony Esposito Jun 2019
My mothers always asking me to **** her garden.
Always nagging me about the garden.
I shrug and moan but always fold.
I always end up weeding the garden.

The twisted vine spread all about.
Hot sun beating down on my brow.
Every root I pull pulls back somehow.

The dirt on my gloves caked and cold.
The sweat tortures me so.
This garden is my enemy now.

I plot against it in my sleep.
Thinking of ways to end my grief.
Poison? Maybe, I don’t know!

I hate this garden but I will conquer it!
I will tear it apart untill it’s clean.
Free from green death.
Over bearing shrubs!

My mother’s always asking me to **** her garden.
And somehow I always do.
Always out in the lifeless heat.
Always out on my feet.

Goodbye garden, see you next season.
The war will begin again.
The nagging.
The garden.
Jun 2019 · 390
You
Anthony Esposito Jun 2019
You
If I could draw you a picture
So beautiful, so lovely.
Of you.
And only you.
I would draw it and lay it beside you.
You.
And only you.
Cast a spell.
And spread  it upon you.
Wrap you up in my arms,
And never let you go.
You.
And only you.
From now untill forever,
It’s just you.
And only you.
I love you.
And Only you.
May 2019 · 218
A little story
Anthony Esposito May 2019
I am not fine.
I am not ok.
I exist and that is it.
I’m am tired.
I am worn.
I have walked this path before.
And this cold and lonely pace
Reminds me of what I hate.
And I keep it at the surface instead of forgotten  like a dream.
And you can’t make it disappear.
And you can’t make it any better.
Your on your own.
But it’s not like it’s the first time.
You have a gift
Of knowing what you know now.
And you exist like a ghost amongst the living.
And it’s an easy choice to turn back once you see this.
But you go on.
Cause your strong.
A hero of your own story now you know.
May 2019 · 201
Cold Dark Night
Anthony Esposito May 2019
Its the cold dark night
That tears apart  your heart
And leaves you in the dark  
Hollowed out to rot.

The sounds they are so deafening
Of sirens going past.
The city lights are blinding
From above the shadows cast.

And you call out to the wind.
And hear the silence stay.
You were once alive.
But now your left astray.

In the cold dark night
Your worst fears they come alive.
And eat at you like demons
From below and above they fight.

Its the cold dark night
That tears apart  your heart
And leaves you in the dark  
Hollowed out to rot.
May 2019 · 179
Dear mom
Anthony Esposito May 2019
Found it in a bottle, buried in the sand.
I dug it out, pulled the cork, and held it in my hand.
And on a rolled up paper words were  written down.
And the very top it started with two words:

Dear mom.
I hope this finds you well.
I wrote every feeling down and set it free.
To the oceans waves to carry away.
And every word carries with it everything I’ve Carried with me.

To the times I cried and you wiped my tears.
Told a younger me I shouldnt have any fears.
Lit a light when it got dark.
Gave me yours when they broke my heart.
And told me none of those girls deserved me.

Dear mom.
I hope this finds you well.
I wrote every feeling down and set it free.
To the oceans waves to carry away.
And every word carries with it everything I’ve Carried with me.

Trouble always had a way of finding me.
But you always had a way of dealing with me.
Sometimes for better sometimes for worse.
I know sometimes I broke your heart.
But still you always tried to help me.
Well I’m writing this because I know
You did all because you loved me.

And as the sun set.
I rolled the note up.
As a tear rolled down cheek and glistened in the sun.
I put the note back in the bootle and ******* the cork back on.
And threw that bottle back into the ocean to swallow up.
And I whispered to myself.

Dear mom.
I hope this finds you well.
I wrote every feeling down and set it free.
To the oceans waves to carry away.
And every word carries with it everything I’ve Carried with me.
Apr 2019 · 202
Family
Anthony Esposito Apr 2019
The mother she is broken, tattered and torn.
shes given her soul to her family and lord.
The father is busy with work and a secretary with low self esteem.
The son is busy looking at boys and the daughters is busy with all sorts of boys.
Well what a family.
That’s what you call a family.

They married young right out of high school.
She got knocked up and that’s where it went downhill
He started drinking and messing around.
She kept busy stuck close to the house.

Now one crying baby led to another.
A strong face was worn by the mother.
The father slaves to bring in some cash.
But he just wished to rewind the past.

Well that’s a family.
That’s whats you call a family.
One big happy family.
Apr 2019 · 182
Better Off
Anthony Esposito Apr 2019
Who’s name I do not want to say
Who brought me so much pain
But whose love taught me to grow and Change.

I do not know where you are
But  Even in your darkest hour
You always managed to smile.
And I know you are ok.

You said we’d be better off
And you were right.
I spent many lonely nights
Just trying to figure it out.
But I’n the end I think you were right
I was better off.

Who’s name I do not want to say
We haven’t spoken since that day
You left behind memories that wouldn’t go away

I tried to drown them out with liquid demons and any and everything.
I pushed away family and friends
All because I could not comprehend what I know now was we weren’t meant to be.

You said we’d be better off
And you were right.
I spent many lonely nights
Just trying to figure it out.
But I’n the end I think you were right
I was better off.
Apr 2019 · 213
Untitled
Anthony Esposito Apr 2019
As the frozen lake begins to melt,
The summer arrives and beats it’s chest.
From frost bite to sun tans.
From cold wind to cool sand.
From warm gloves to warm hands.
Seasons change and so do we.
I got love for you. And I got life for the world.
Together we can explore it like it’s our own.
I got doubts but their small,
Compared to what we have.
We will rule his world
And the seasons will still pass.
Mar 2019 · 318
Stars
Anthony Esposito Mar 2019
Oh brilliant stars above
Whether  your standing still or shining bright,
You fill my mind with wonder.
Oh what a sight it is to gaze upon your shine.
A twinkle for every empty space.
A light that’s dead before it arrives.
What tragedy this story hides.
A black canvas to make its own.
The stars they always find a home.
Infinity Wishes forever wished upon.
Not everyone answered,
Not everyone fallen in love.
Great Norh star that leads the way.
Finds me when I can’t find my way.
The marker north, pointing on.
The stars above will guide me home.
Mar 2019 · 311
When you say you have to go
Anthony Esposito Mar 2019
When I met you in the dark
In the cold December night.
Your eyes pierced my soul.
And immediately every hole
Began to fill with light.

We told each other stories
Of ghost from our past
And how we were both Looking
To find happiness again.

When you say you have to go
I can see you want to stay.
And my head fills up with a thousand words to say.
But all I can get out is, “ok.”

And when the door closes shut
And I’m on the other side
I whisper to the dark
“I love you.”

For awhile we watched
As something special grew.
And everyday brought me closer to you,
A fire in my heart started to Burn.

But I would come to learn
The fire started to soon
And like the sun you went away
Replaced by the darkness.
And once again I found myself swallowed up by pain.

When you say you have to go
I can see you want to stay.
And my head fills up with a thousand words to say.
But all I can get out is, “ok.”

And when the door closes shut
And I’m on the other side
I whisper to the dark
“I love you.”

I’d like you to know I’ll  always remember you.
And the way your eyes danced in the light.
The way you warmed my heart
As I held you in my arms.
The touch of your skin against  my own.

When you say you have to go
I can see you want to stay.
And my head fills up with a thousand words to say.
But all I can get out is, “ok.”

And when the door closes shut
And I’m on the other side
I whisper to the dark
“I love you.”
Anthony Esposito Mar 2019
You always leave the light on when you leave
As a reminder to me that you were there
And it isn’t fair.
Why should I be left to lay in my defeat
While you rush out and retreat.

You always leave the light on when you leave
I’m reminded that we’re just not meant to be.
To be comforted by an imprint in the sheets.
while a shadow makes it way to the street.

Dont I get a say in how we burn this village down?
You brought your Trojan horse to my beach.
And it’s like all we had is out of reach.
And oh how far I’ve reached.

You always leave the light on when you leave.
As a reminder that you were there and it isn’t  fair.
Why should I be left to lay in my defeat. While you rush out in your retreat.
Mar 2019 · 316
Alright now
Anthony Esposito Mar 2019
Say your goodbyes
Kick rocks to the road
Because you can’t go back.
There’s no changing the past.

Let the storm past
Seek shelter from the fallout
Don’t look back
It’s not what it once was.

You can do the same old dance
Around around again
You can sing the same old lines
You can stay the same

The night is young
Your soul is not
So put the past to rest
Your alright now.
Mar 2019 · 187
A monster for real
Anthony Esposito Mar 2019
I want to come clean
I am a monster.
I want to be clear
I am dangerous.
I will seem safe
Maybe even inoccent.
But I am neither.
So tell my story when I’m gone.
About who I really was.
But lie just alittle.
Just to make them smile.
Try just alittle to make me look good.
I am a monster anyway so what does it matter?
That’s what they say anyway.
I am a monster if you couldn’t tell.
I’ll play the monster for as long as it takes.
Faking the bad guy in a bad play.
I’ll be your monster and be the excuse.
I’m a monster after all
Im a monster for real.
Feb 2019 · 135
Just understand
Anthony Esposito Feb 2019
Have a drink, have another
Get so drunk you call your mother.
Kiss a girl, change your world
Fall In love and hate yourself for it

Spin around in a dance,
You believe in romance.
Hold his hand and live alittle.
Life is short just live alittle.

It’s a great big world
You have a great big plan.
You have a life to live,
You have a life to plan.
Just understand.

Just say your goodbyes now.
The time has come to be true to yourself.
Just be calm and be sound.
Your time is now
Just be yourself.

Forget what you have done.
This life is fair.
You did this to yourself.
Just live it for yourself.

It’s a great big world
You have a great big plan.
You have a life to live,
You have a life to plan.
Just understand.
Feb 2019 · 218
In directions all different
Anthony Esposito Feb 2019
Your a long way from home
But You don’t  feel alone
In a city so big it could swallow you whole
The pavement is vibrating
People seem busy
Distracted by everything
But one thing in common
They all have to go.
The cars stuck in traffic
Signal lights dancing above
Yeah it’s a familiar site
But brings such a delight to the soul
We all play a role
A beat to the drum of life
A pace to the step we all take
In directions all different but end all the same
So you can’t feel alone
When the lights never stop
And the people shuffle for hours unknown
and the Bridges, tunnels, and highways go on forever
And you can’t possibly come to an end
Feb 2019 · 190
Hello
Anthony Esposito Feb 2019
I had dreams when I was a boy
I thought I’d grow to own the world.
I wished I’d known
What I know now.
I would not be where I am now.

I could have grown up to be something big.
Instead I’m asking questions to the wind.
And it goes on.
Like the birds will always sing.
I’ll go on
Like I knew I’d always be on my own.

Helllo are you listening?
Hello is anyone even there?
Are you out there or am I talking to myself?
Can someone please tell me?

Am I alone?
Or is someone by my side?
Can I just known please?
The comfort would set me fine.
Feb 2019 · 139
Is this real?
Anthony Esposito Feb 2019
It’s 5am and i can’t sleep
Gotta get this off my chest
I dream of you
And I don’t want to
Gotta tell somebody cause its killing me
The way you to did when you were around

no amount of cigarettes can make this go away
Lost a piece of me when you left and went away
Now your standing there it’s not clear
What I should feel
im not even sure that this is real

So I fake a laugh
And take a step back
And take a sip of my beer
and put on an act that deserves a round of applause
Feb 2019 · 145
Old man
Anthony Esposito Feb 2019
The old man got mad again today
Said things he will forget tomorrow
The old man hit mom again today
Will apologize tomorrow
I saw the old man cry once
It will stay with me forever
I never made the old  man proud
I never made him smile
I buried the old man today
I said I forgive you
Feb 2019 · 129
Up there
Anthony Esposito Feb 2019
I haven’t seen my daddy in seven years.
But I’m told that he’s not far.
He’s up above,
Living in the stars.

At times I feel him with me.
In a gust of wind.
Other times I feel alone.
Like the only person on earth.

Well deaths a fickle *****.
An unbearable itch.
Lives in your spine
Biding it’s time.
Devouring you from within.

And when the man in Black comes calling.
You never even know he’s there.
Just ask my daddy.
If you see him up there.

I never said goodbye.
I live with that regret.
An anchor in my heart
Keeps this ship from wreck.

And in the ashes that I spread
on your mothers grave.
A weight was lifted slightly.
I said a prayer and shed a tear.
I’ll see you soon I’m sure.
Feb 2019 · 216
I Wonder What
Anthony Esposito Feb 2019
I was smoking a cigarette, in the early morning hours.
Devoured by the fog that came to claim its home.
The neighbors started shouting as they usually do.
The city starts to wake and speak.
I wonder what it says to you?

The wife began to clamor out the front door.
Dragging behind her, her husbands clothes.
He followed behind her not fazed and unamused.
Like this had happened before.

A single taxi  stutters by.
No service sign is lit.
The drivers face, like a ghost.
I wonder where he’s been?

The whole world is working.
It never stopped, since I’ve been standing here.
The streets lights begin to flicker off.
The sun begins to rise.
My cigarette has long been out.
And my lungs again fed up.

I wonder where your waking up?
I wonder do you think of me?
A city so big you could hide forever.
A city so big we could rule it together.
Set fire ourselves.
Burn it down if that’s what we pleased.
Or we can build it up.
Have towers in the sky.
And watch it till we grow old together.
I wonder if this could be?
Jan 2019 · 129
What for
Anthony Esposito Jan 2019
As the sky begins to open up above.
Below there lies a girl who’s given up.
She sits on the concrete crying once again.
Her reflection in her tears mirrors back at her.
She asks herself quietly,
What for?

Lessons learned from a past of broken promises.
Beat against her head scratching to be released.
She cries out “daddy why does this keep happening to me?”
Why me?
What for?

Lightning crashes and thunder roars.
She walks the concrete steaming floor.
Her tears blend with the rain dripping down her face.
She asks herself,
What for?
What for?
Dec 2018 · 141
What could all this mean?
Anthony Esposito Dec 2018
Throw me a lifeline.
Show me some mercy.
The Sun is to bright,
and the wind is to loud.
Oh what a whoa is me.

Alone in a world,
So big and so bold.
Where do I belong?
A puzzle piece without a space.
What could all this mean?

Show me a life worth living,
grant me a wish for love.
Tend to my needs like a mother.
While I cry like a child.

What is a life without living?
What could all this mean?
Where do the roads less traveled end?
And is there a place for me?
Nov 2018 · 465
Long road
Anthony Esposito Nov 2018
Give me perspective,
Give me hope.
Give me the reason,
Give me the rope.

At the long road ahead we find that life can be hard.
Let’s come together, let’s make it work.
We are the future, let’s leave the past.
In the back of our minds untill it’s gone.

They talk in circles around your head.
They say your wrong when you are mad.
But you got questions to ******* thoughts.
It’s all a trick to make you question yourself.

At the end of your rope.
At the bottom of your hope.
Don’t be discouraged, don’t be afraid.
Your life is your own to break or save.

No light.
No life.
All dark.
All hate.
Be sound.
Be true.
Give love and make it what you want it to be.

At the end of your rope.
At the bottom of your hope.
Don’t be discouraged, don’t be afraid.
Your life is your own to break or save.
Oct 2018 · 283
I Wonder
Anthony Esposito Oct 2018
I wonder if you’d care to explain yourself?
    Not to make any off handed suggestion.
But I’m curious of how you draw so much attention?
      You don’t seem to belong.
You haven’t even a resemblance of class.
       I wonder if anyone’s ever told you?
How would that even come to pass ?
       And what’s worse is you don’t seem to care.
Haven’t you got any shame?
        Or do you hide in plain site wearing your pain?
I wonder what goes through your head?
        When you act how you do.
Teasing the boys cause you like how it feels.
        Spotlight on you like the sun always shining.
While all the boys you’ve hurt sit somewhere crying.
        Your striding with a smile while inside your dying.
I wonder what love would help you be sill.
        Or are you like a bird free and at your own will.
Aug 2018 · 262
In the cover of the night
Anthony Esposito Aug 2018
In the cover of the night we say what we feel.
In the cover of the night our true selfs are revealed.
They come  creeping up from graves of past memories we buried long ago.
We are hidden from the truth.
Disguised to hide ourselfs.
This is the beginning of the end.
In the. Cover of the night we hide.
In the cover of the night we find out true selfs.
Aug 2018 · 234
Undeserving girl.
Anthony Esposito Aug 2018
I once sought the attention of an undeserving girl.

I once promised her the world.

Flowered her with gifts and words of love and affection.

Held hands and walked along the roads lest traveled.

Spent the night gazing at the stars sharing ghost stories from the past.

But like all good things our love did not last.

She grew tired of the moment and said love was not enough.

Next time I’ll have to be more careful.
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