The radio is dead
But the static is calming still
The board games grew old and tired
When you started standing still

You stopped playing games
Started lighting fires
Told one lie as a child
Now you tell more to cover the others
Your a mess
Your a lot
But your never gunna let that bring you down

You tell yourself in a rearview mirror
In a parking lot of a 7-11
All your friends have grown distant
And you feel all alone
But you’ve never been happier

One day your young and fearless  
The next your old and frail
But just think of the stories you will tell
Faking a heart attack
To scare all the nurses
One day they won’t come
When you actually need them too

I’m headed north to Alaska
Haven’t been there in years
To be in the presence of Beauty
But feel ugly inside
It’s a burden masquerading as a gift
And here’s the twist
I don’t know if I hate it

I’m going back to Alaska
Haven’t seen my brother
It’s been years
So much to catch up on
I only fear
It will be gone before I know it
And I’ll be flying home again

I’m on a plane going north again
It’s almost like I’m going home
There is a presence of family
Whatever that even means

The captain says we’re beginning our decent and it all sets in
Im not in Kansas anymore
Im not even in New Jersey
Im in Alaska once again
And it feels like home

It’s almost 11pm and the sun is still up
Im dancing in a circle in the woods
With family and music louder then words
I’m in Alaska
Hey what could be better?

You’re always welcomed to ask questions, but the answer?
I don’t think so.
You’re always welcomed  to get angry or frustrated,
but my response?
Is my own.
You’re always welcomed to have an opinion,
but to be shared
It can’t be assumed.
You’re always welcomed  to leave,
but to be chased
isn’t the truth.

Ain’t no more of this sad song
I turned it off.
I’d rather listen to the wind blow
Down a highway with nowhere to go.
It’s always goodbye
I’m looking for some hellos
This place is getting old
I’m just trying to survive it.
It’s a mess,
And at best unhealthy.
It’s a test, I’m set up to fail.
I’ve had better mornings.
Saw sunrises, looked like God.
But today I feel like I’m melting.
Ain’t no cure for being depressed.
It’s a mess
And there was no warning.
This tsunami came and washed away everything.
I’m waiting for the morning,
To assess everything.
Take a breath,
You got so much left.
You’re in the right side of time.
It’s hanging from your wrist.

On December 20th 2010 my father didn’t wake up. They said it was from a mix of medications he swallowed in the night. I envisioned a child eating candy in the dark hoping their mother wouldn’t find out. This was different. He was taking pain medication from an accident he endured years before and died alone. He had woken up every day prior in pain, and yet he stumbled out into the cruel world, and did his job to make his little money, and carried on with life. That morning when he didn’t wake up my sister found him. The alarm had gone off, and off, and off but he did not wake. She found him all alone. She’ll  carry that until the day she doesn’t wake up.

What was I to you?
A broken toy
You don’t play with anymore
A sad joke
You don’t tell to anyone
You keep me in the dark
A secret,
not even good enough to be told
I hate you
I hate this
But you say you don’t mean it
You won’t do it anymore
But in a week
Your back to being you
You act like your to famous
For me now
But your a nobody just like me
And I can see through all
The bad acting
You like a storm that picked me up
And tore apart my little life
And left me there to pick up all the pieces
A title wave that swept away my soul
And all my love
But you can keep it
I don’t want it anymore
Your a storm
You bring the clouds with you
They hang over head
It’s a dread
It’s so evil
Just like you

I come home to an empty apartment
Your not there again
And I’m left with the stars and the moon spinning in my head

I used to love you
Now I hate you
And I don’t remember it happening
But it did

Your not who you said you were
Your a liar
Or I’m a fool
I prefer the former
I’m to selfish myself

I used to walk Side by side with you
Now I feel miles apart
You used to hold a special place in my heart
Now it’s just darkness and pain

I used to love you
Now I hate you
Your a bad memory
I wish that I could forget you
Like you forgot me

Black cloud over you
Your a prisoner to you
Stuck in your mind
So many times
You’ve lost count

You’ve seen better days
In many ways
This is an ok day for you
Can’t seem to do anything
This has got the best of you

So let’s take that trip
To Bora Bora.
Let’s just runway from here.
We can go anywhere but here.

I Said the wrong thing
It wasn’t your fault I swear
It didn’t mean anything
Just a funny joke
That didn’t land where it was supposed to

Oh it may be harder then it looks.
Maybe the answers aren’t in those books
Medication doesn’t taste that good to you
I’m on your side but pull the trigger if it would make you feel good.

So let’s take that trip
To Bora Bora.
Let’s just runway from here.
We can go anywhere but here

I got memories of you,
Popping in and out
Like tiny bubbles In the the summer sun.

They stick to me like glue.
Like an addiction, I wish that I could kick you.
But I just keep crawling back.
Like a pain in the small of my back.

I am at war in my head.
Fighting demons off,
and hoping the Angels hold them back.
I don't have the guts to retreat.
My every emotion is telling me to give in.

Memories in my head of you,
Popping like Bubbles in in the summer time.

Some kids followed rainbows
I followed the chemtrails
And at the end there was no gold
Just darkness and cold
And a headstone that read
Adolescence was dead.

And in the fall they shipped you out
to boarding school
Just so they could play rich
Every story that they told
Was a lie so you’d grow old
And not question anything.

And in your eyes
I see the chemtrails again
From that day
When you lost your innocence
Staring up into the sky
And you swore you felt alive

Still have the yearbook
where you wrote me that message
Haven’t opened it in years
We haven’t talked since that fight
About the plane ticket and flight
And how this was probably our last night

And in your teary eyes
I see the chemtrails again
From that day
When you lost your innocence
Staring up at the sun
I remember it was fun

And let memories take shape
Underneath these hollow stars,
I wait for the perfect moment.

Chatter on the radio,
Makes  so much sense the listen close.
But your heart it keeps in line.
And all your dreams they fall in line.

You’ve been waiting for this.
the perfect moment to come alive.
They’ve been rooting for you.
The moment the contests becomes alive.

They cheer for the winning team,
That could have been you.
They hope for clarity.
That has past between you.

Night time is yours to build.
This earth is your refuge.
Take hope in common ground.
They’v been rooting for you.

You wanna be a cool kid,
But your not a cool kid.
You wanna be a winner, but you've never won before.
You wanna see the real world, but you've never lived before.

Disco ball above your head,
Lazers, lights, the beat in your head.
You wanna be a cool kid, but your not made for this.
You wanna be a cool kid, but your not cool kid.

Dreams come true, but not for you.
Love is real, but you can't deal.
The perfect life is real,
But your not cool enough.

You wanna be cool,
You wanna break all the rules.
You can't be cool because your not a cool kid.

They call you crazy
But your no Ophelia
Just maybe,
This isn’t your first rodeo
And you haven’t learned how to be loved

So they call you crazy
When you act out and yell
Throwing dishes at the wall
They call you beautiful one day
And to much to handle the next

They don’t know you hate it,
When they call you baby
Your not a child anymore
To old for these games
But you play along anyway

You smoke cigarettes,
And you curse
You have ***,
And on occasion,
you’ve broken a few hearts before

But they call you crazy
When you don’t wanna talk anymore
When you lock yourself alone in the room
Where you sleep
And you dream of escaping

But they’d call you crazy
And just maybe your are?
Your crazy,
For doing the same thing over and over again

You smoke menthol
and I don’t
You don’t laugh
but I do
I only just met you
But I feel like Ive always known you
Your not from this part of town
Your not even from this state
And I miss you even when you’ve only gone out of site from my face
But that’s silly you’d say
Because you’ll never feel that way
About me or anyone
It’s you, and your all alone
In the fantasy you see in your head
So we bond while we self medicate
Become who we’ve grown to hate
The mirror ain’t lying
That’s you, you see dying
Wake up from this terrible dream
The mall parking lot
has stretched out and devoured
What’s left of the suburbs
And the people live in towers so high
While you laugh as you cry
Don’t go into the light

Walking drunk down the street
Cigarette in one hand
In the other a tall boy can
Your the flavor of the week
The boys all bow at your feet
Treat you like a god
They prey for your touch
But they don’t need to pray
Your giving it away for free
The moon light shines in your hair
Golden in the night air
Humming your favorite song
Your just drunk enough
To not care at all
Headlights in the far off distance
You wonder where they are
Does anyone care at all
If you just disappeared
Your all done up
But eyes shadows ******
You’ve been crying too much
Let your guard down
Gave your Love to a boy
Guess he wasn’t a man
Walking the streets like a ghost
Your haunted by your own thoughts
Your an Angel in the night
But you don’t believe in God
You’ve got a devil on your shoulder
And he talks too much
The stars are out tonight
They shine bright like a spotlight
You wonder what’s out there
Would anybody care
If you just disappeared
Just walk it off
Go home and sleep it off
In the morning you can start again
Or play pretend
Would anybody care
Do you even care
If you just disappeared

My sister she’s been crying
Sad she’s a single mother
My nephews father he’s not gone
He’s just not around
And I guess she’s just sad
she had to move back to this small town  

What I wouldn’t give
To take her pain away
Take it out back and shoot it
Or light it on fire
And watch it burn up in flames

Either way there’d be a victim
There’s no winners in this game
Love is not for quitters
But we play anyway
Be nice if there were warnings
The bad guys always win
And the good guys always get away

She started smoking cigarettes again
I asked her for a smoke
We ended up talking for hrs
We laughed at how Life's a joke
She asked me if it ever gets better
I said I’ll let you know when I find out

I Said don't hold your breath
Just be happy with the time you get
What’s meant to be will be
And some other inspiring ****
I told her what I thought I’d like to hear

We’re all just living on this earth
Wondering how it will end
Waiting for our time to go
How lucky will the last ones be
To actually be the ones to know

My coworker called me a ******* today.
It hurt, but I guess that’s ok.

I’ll carry it with me like I do most things, on most days.

On my way home from work, with the sun glaring in my eyes, the red light stared me down.
A nagging thought followed me back to my town.

I’m not a ******* I thought.

Back at the place where I lay my head.
My dinner sits cold on the table.
My mind spinning with a single, torturous thought.

I am not a *******.

The night comes, as it always does.
The sun hides away, while the moon comes out to play.

As I sit in the dark, focused on the infinite darkness.
I can’t help but think.

I am not a *******.

Dribble, Dribble, Dribble
The child bounces his ball, as the blacktop sizzles
The air choking from the heat, as the child's Nike's dance in the street
The sky a perfect blue, mixed with some clouds, maybe one or two
Dribble, Dribble, Dribble
The child is bound to the block
Made a promise to his mother to stay on the sidewalk
But promises are sometime broken
Dribble, Dribble, Dribble
From East to West
The child curiosity may have gotten the best
Out from his mothers watchful gaze, he is put to the test
Dribble, Dribble, Dribble
A shopkeeper watches the child go by
Reminds him of his son
Especially his smile.
Dribble, Dribble, Dribble
Past the child's middle school crush
Pink bow in her hair, matches her blush
Passes the ball through his legs, a teenage lush.
Dribble, Dribble, Dribble
One foot off the sidewalk, a tire screeches and swivels
Dribble, Dribble, Drop
The ball puttered to a slow stop

A dark and lonely road
A cars headlights hit the dark like snow
A song you hate but play again and again
No plan or direction just leather in your hand

Just drive
Just drive into the night
Thoughts dancing In your head
You just want to feel alive

Just drive
Leaving all of this behind
Your memories of ghost
Don’t look back if you want to survive

Street lights dancing in your eyes
Like stars hanging from the sky
You just drive
Just drive into the night

Nobody knows where you are
Nobody asked where you were
Nobody seems to care
I know your driving somewhere out there

Driving north
In a Hyundai Santa Fe
It was cold and you had lost your way
Bruce Springsteen played softly
You could make out the words to
I’m on fire

And it fit so well
Like a glove that you found behind the seat
And you pulled your coat close
To hold in the heat
Could see your breath
Could feel your heart beat

And you drive
Like there is no tomorrow
And it feels like there may not be
And you laugh and I smile
Hold your breath
Make it last a while

Driving past the bar we grew up in
Another ghost story to tell
Put your money where you mouth is
Because I’m gunna drink like I’m gunna die
Don’t you lie
You miss this deep inside

And you aren’t even looking out
You lost in the traffic lines
And your focused on what could have been
Sure you’ve sinned
So has everybody else
Your not a hero

And you drive
Like there is no tomorrow
And it feels like there may not be
And you laugh and I smile
Hold your breath
Make it last awhile

Hold my hand out the window
Feel the wind in my fingers
Take a drag of my cigarette
And watch it run out the window
To a far away land
Somewhere out there

And when we reach our destination
Will we say our fake goodbye
And walk away into the unknown
Will we find what we set out to?
You know you think of it
When your driving all alone

And you drive
Like there is no tomorrow
And it feels like there may not be
And you laugh and I smile
Hold your breath
Make it last a while

Another dusk comes
to swallow this world whole
And your left grappling
With whats no more
Turn the tv on and off
It’s always just the same
Someone playing a hero
while the bad guys get away
And you lay there out of body
Out of mind
It helps you pass the time
And when you get lonely
You can just look
Into the mirror
You’ll see a familiar face
He’s always saying leave this place
But you don’t listen
Because you never do
And now your telling
Your regrets to the moon
This place is heavy
Almost to much to bare
Your almost empty
Your fuel lights been on for days
You move forward
Inch by inch
Whatever it takes to drag your body
From this grave
And you look into the purple haze
As the dawn begins to bring a new day

In what was his fifth cigarette of the night, the boy lit it like clockwork at 11::00pm on the dot. The smoke hovered around his head for a moment before evaporating.    He stared up at the black canvas sky that was empty, besides a few stars that shown through the dark. What a sad sight Indeed.
All the light pollution from the city made it impossible to see barely any stars on any given night. The boy knew this, but was always disappointed still.

   There was no mini mart, just an office with a bathroom and a small heated booth outside with a cash registers and a chair. The gas pumps lay untouched for a few hours now. The gas station was always slow at this time but tonight was especially slow. The boy kept busy by sweeping the ground every now and then.
The station was off the highway near an exit ramp, in an area with few people, and nothing really worth stopping for. It was almost a god send when a car would roll through now and then and get some gas. Even still, no one seemed to be making their way to this station tonight.

   A few hrs had passed and finally the silence was broken around 1:05am when an old black charger came off the exit and rolled into the station. The boy was in his little booth, watching the car slowly pull along side pump number 2. He pulled the sliding door of his booth open and walked up to the car. The driver side window slowly rolled down about half way.
A cloud of cigarettes smoke barreled out and a red ember lit the darkness. A strong smell that reminded the boy of the aftershave his father used to wear hit his nose. A man sat dressed in black and wearing sunglasses. Music played in the background, low enough just to make out something was playing.

Hey.

How you doing tonight sir?

Oh, just fine, just fine. Fill her up Regular.

Ok. Just gotta let you know the credit machine is down. So we can only take cash tonight.

The machine had been broken since the boy got on shift. The guy he took over for said it broke and he didn’t know how to fix it, neither did the boy, but he knew the manger knew how. But he wouldn’t be in until the morning.


Well that’s an inconvenience, don’t you think?

Yeah, I’m sorry but I can’t fix it until my manger comes in, and that won’t be until the morning.

You don’t say?

Yea, I apologize.

What if I don’t got any cash?

I’m sorry but I wouldn’t be able to help you.

   The man in the driver seat stared into the boys eyes. An emptiness exuded from him. He wore glasses and yet they still pierced through him. The smoke hovered around him, almost stagnant and he sat in this cloud of smoke just gazing.
The boy was taken back.
He gathered himself and said again:

If you have cash I can help you, If not I can’t give you any gas.

Yeah, I heard you the first time.

I guess I have to give you cash then, huh?

Yeah, again I’m sorry man.

Don’t be sorry,  not yet. It’s not right yet,
You haven’t earned it.

I’m sorry?

   The boy felt the uneasiness creep through him. He started to get anxious. The emptiness of the station started to feel much larger than before.
  The man in the driver seat sat silent. The low humming of the radio broke through the awkward silence. The music  ate through the tension like white noise. No one was coming anytime soon, it was clear.

You the only one here?

  The boy looked confused and was over the questions.

Yea, I’m working the graveyard shift. You want gas or no?

Don’t be rude. You ain’t got the right.

Listen, if you don’t want gas i don’t know what I can do for you.

You got cigarettes?

Yes.

Oh, so you can help me after all.

If you have cash, yes.

Oh, your really not being helpful. It’s a shame.

I’m sorry. I told you the machine was broken, and I can't fix it without the manager.

Yeah, I heard you.

   The lights buzzed above head. The wind was still. It was as if the driver and the boy were the only one out there, maybe even the only ones left on earth to the boy. Fear ran through him. He kept hoping someone else would come driving down off the exit ramp. He kept looking for head lights, but nothing.
And then like it was never even on, the music stopped. The window rolled all the way down. The man sat in silence, smirking. He ran his hands through his brittle dark brown hair. He turned and looked to the dark to his right. Taking stock, he turned and looked back into the boys eyes.

You believe in fate kid?

Not really.  Do want gas or no?

Forget about the gas.

What do you mean?

It ain’t important anymore. Do you believe in fate, is the question right now.

What do you mean, do you want gas or no?

Don’t worry about the gas I said!
******* it, forget about the gas!
I asked about fate. What do you have to say about fate?
Why is it always about gas with you?
Don’t be a fool kid.
Now I’m trying to help you. If you don’t want my help then hey, just say so.

I don’t want any trouble man.

Fate brought me here kid. So trouble found you whether you wanted it to or not.

Now I’m gunna ask you one more time.
Do you believe in fate?



  The sun was barely up when the manager pulled in off the exit ramp and into the station. He was surprised he didn’t see the boy at first but thought nothing of it. He checked the office but it was empty. The boys car sat where it always did.
He saw nothing that was out of the ordinary. He observed that the cash register had not been touched, and it had appeared as if no one had really come through, which was the case most nights. Everything was how it should have been, except the boy  was nowhere to be found.
He did think to himself it was weird the boy was not there. It was very unlike him to just leave before his shift was over, especially without his car.
Yet he could not be found anywhere near or around the gas station.                                          The manager decided he should call the boys parents. They said they had not seen him, and said he hadn’t come home yet. The manager decided he should call the police.


   The officer stood beneath the station roof. Sunglasses on. Pants pulled up. Badge glistening in the morning sunlight. He was questioning the manger.

Could it have been he just went home?

No sir, I called his parents. They said he hadn’t come home. And even if he did, I don’t think he would leave his car here

Oh. Does he do this normally?

No sir, he’s a pretty reliable kid.

Any signs something could have went wrong? Cameras?

No sir. We don’t have cameras,  never got them installed. It’s just not like him, you see. I’m Just worried is all.

I can understand that. Can’t really do much unless his parents file a missing persons report.

Well he had to have gone somewhere. He couldn’t have vanished. It’s so unlike him.

The manager could tell the officer would be no help. But he could feel it in his gut. The kid woldn’t have just left. Something was wrong.
The officer stood staring at the cloudless sky.
He cleared his throat and rubbed the sweat from his forehead.

You know sometimes people just leave.
Sometimes it’s just fate. It just happens, people just up and decide they want to live a different life. No word to their families or nothing. I’ve seen it before. Maybe this is that?

The manger didn’t respond. He knew that couldn’t have been it. He knew the boy. This wasn’t like him.
What could have happened?
Where did he go?

Since when did kids start listening to disco again?
Since when did divorce become a trend?
Since when did the beginning become the end?
Since when did we start tearing houses down?
This neighborhood is starting to turn around.
What's wrong with the world?
When did our enemies become our friends?

The worlds so big for us to feel so small.
Just keep your head up kid you may just conquer it all.

Your a king!
Your a god!
Your the man with the plan!
You've got it all figured out.

When did we start bragging about nuclear war?
Since when did we throw our bibles to the floor?
Since when did we all become so bored?
Why do we joke about things that affect us all?

The worlds so small for us to feel so tall.
Just keep your head up kid you may just conquer it all.

Your a king!
Your a god!
Your the man with the plan!
You've got it all figured out.

Your home town tore down the markets and stores.
Put up skyscrapers and wanna build more.
The people are screaming and pleading for change.
They want the government out!!!

Your a king!
Your a god!
Your the man with the plan!
You've got it all figured out.

Flatlining on an incline
A car rolling, in a car crash
Rain pouring, storm overhead
This stories not my own
I am not the one to whom this pain belongs

It’s a sick joke
And this time I’m not the punchline
I’m just here
Flatlining on an incline

I’m alive but I feel dead inside
Like a ghost walking from room to room
I wonder if it’s to soon to assume
That anyone misses me

And just like that
I awake from a dream
Flatlining on an incline
In a hospital bed In New Jersey

Fluffy rug
Soaked in wine
Stupid me
Spilled It without thinking
How dumb can I be?
Not a single thought
Or rhythm to why
This place is a media center
Judgment spreads so fast

The burden of reality starts to set in
You start to realize what this has been
You pull the mask off of this fake conciseness

And start to tip toe through this murky **** show
Shadows on the wall start to take shape
Your paranoid agenda starts to shift

Taking aim at all of your bad memories
I wish that I could pick your mind
To see which one of them is of me.

So let go

Cursing the past in whispers and screams
Blaming others instead of  taking the blame
Your sky is getting grey
The sun has gone away
Your finding it gets darker everyday

You pick and analyze
Judge and repeat
Curse and belittle
Your anger is burrowing  deep
I wish you only peace

So let go

Imagine the possibility
Of living life as if it were a dream
And being at peace like it came easily
Dancing through life like you see on tv
No anger or sadness just being happy.
The temptations are real
And so is this life
I hope your realize sooner than not.

So let go

Well to be honest
To this degree of severity
I have to tell you
This is not worth it
To write this line and that
To dance around the facts
I’m sorry and your sorry
And at best
It’s all just a lie
Told twenty times
times a million
Just a cute joke
Told over some smokes
Keep it cute like a game of war
Always a winner and loser
such is life

Go.
Drive your car.
Into the dark.
Go as far as you can go.
Get away from here.

Stay.
If you dare.
If you don’t care about a single inch of self respect.

Don’t you blink.
Or it might disappear.
Every dream and aspiration that you’ve had.

Cause when the sun comes up every face looks so different.
All the good you saw turns bad and rots away.
And you find yourself asking why you ever stayed.

Look.
Look around.
This mile long town, it wasn’t yours to bare.

Do you care?
Would you blink if it was gone tomorrow?
Would you think about it at all?

So just go.
Just leave it all behind.
Don’t expect a face to look your way, your on your own.

Cause when the sun comes up every face looks so different.
All the good you saw turns bad and rots away.
And you find yourself asking why you ever stayed.

A click away from banishment
A dystopian reality
Handcuffed to this roller coaster
I wish this was a dream
Plugged into this digital universe
Addicted to the screen
When I want people to know I’m angry
I tweet the angry emoji
High on notifications
Staying away from reality
Hiding behind a screen name
I Am God243

Small town girl,
thought you ruled the world
A pageant queen without a crown
You been around this town
Like a merry go round
But you tell really good jokes
That something to hold on to

Strike a pose
It’s your graduation
You’ve grown up into a fool
Keep the picture to remember
Why no one ***** with you

Built a city
Just to watch it burn
Gave lessons not to learn
Laughed at everybody’s problems
Your anger is your only quality
But it doesn’t bother you

Tell a lie
But the biggest one is you
Brush you off
But you stick like glue
Tell you off
but you seem unfazed
Turn the page but it’s the same story

Strike a pose
It’s your graduation
You’ve grown up into a fool
Keep the picture to remember
Why no one ***** with you

Well the bar closes early on Mondays and they want us to leave.
So we stumble out into the night our hearts on our sleeves.
Partners in crime, we rob each other’s hearts.
But like each other’s Robin Hood,  we replace what was hurt.
And bury each other’s sadness deep in the dirt.

You can have my heart if you wanted.
I’d rip it out and happily hand it to you.
You can have my soul if you wanted.
I’d happily die, then live on without you.

The street lights are blinking, as we dance in the street.
No longer the villains of our own story.
We kiss under the street light
Your lips are a treat
A reward for this hell on earth.
I ponder what this life was before you.

You can have my heart if you wanted.
I’d rip it out and happily hand it to you.
You can have my soul if you wanted.
I’d happily die then live on without you.

Your laughing at your own jokes again.
The ride home is your stage, your the audience and comedian.
And I’m just in awe that your coming home with me.
Some say true love doesn’t exist.
But they haven’t bared witness to this.

You can have my heart if you wanted.
I’d rip it out and happily hand it to you.
You can have my soul if you wanted.
I’d happily die, then live on without you.

Your not who you wanted to be
Your not even close
When you look at old photos of yourself you see a ghost

And you haunt your every dream
With doubts and insecurities

You float right through the ceiling
Can’t keep a steady path
Your losing faith in hoping

Stopped wearing that cross around your Neck and you kiss your mother still
You aren’t all that bad my friend

Your not a hero but you ain’t the villain
You want to be free
You want what you can’t get

Just hold on
And take it slow
This ride is almost over

Just a few more steps
You’ll be there
My friend
Hold on to the end

Had a sip of a sour beer at party
started talked down to kids
Made a speech about the future
Passed out in your parents bed

But you swear you wore a crown
And made demands
But those who were there know best
You were a joker in the end

So hold on My friend
Those funerals were reminders
Of where you could have been
Don’t be ashamed

Just hold on
And take it slow
This ride is almost over

Just a few more steps
And you’ll be home
You’ll be there
My friend
Hold on to the end

And you went home for the holiday
Saw an old love
You thought the flam went out so long ago
But it’s smoldering

And you sat on a stoop at your parents house In the early morning we said our peace Told secrets we had buried deep
What a night it was

Just hold on
And take it slow
This ride is almost over

I know you don’t wanna slow down
You reached the limits of this small town

Just a few more steps
And you’ll be home
You’ll be there
Hold on to the end

What if you were the skeletons in your own closet
And waiting for someone to come find you and wake you up
But when they do, you wish you could go back
To pretending like everything was fine,
there in the pitch black

You wanna make this work
But it harder then it looks
They don’t tell you this in school
Sometimes I know life seems cruel
But you just be cruel right back
Don’t ever look back

You float together like ghosts
Over the whole **** world
As you watch it burn, you think
But God does this feels like home

A triggered kid in the cross walk
An Altima with a judgmental face behind the steering wheel
Oh to feel like a kid again
To feel rebellious and alive again

To roam this town like a wondering gypsy
Till the shadows danced on the pavement
To be naive to a broken heart
Or to learn how to wield it

You float together like ghosts
Over the whole **** world
As you watch it burn, you think
but God does this feels like home

Save my secrets for the trees
your sorries mean nothing to me
Just throw them out the window
Driving fast, have no fear
Crash the car, it’s ok
Buy a new one tomorrow

That’s how you live your life
Selfish, and out of spite
You live like you know they’ll be a tomorrow
Blows my mind
Like you once did

Took a train to the city
To go people watching
Like we once did
Central Park is so pretty this time of year
All alone but I feel so alive
You hated that about me
You just hated life

That’s how you live your life
Angry and out of your mind
You wake up every morning
And you can’t help but complain
And you say if anything else
Its for the fact
That you woke up at all

"Don't you get tired of it all?" she said,
As we passed the bottle around again.

The same old faces in the same old basment not doing anything.

We all get high just to pass the time,
telling stories of when we were young.

And with each past shared we lose a bit of ourselves.
We sit there collecting dusts like books on a shelf.

And we laugh about how we'll never change and how we won't turn out like our parents.

The night time comes stirring up our spirits.
And with each passing moment we wonder if not now then when?

We used to call each other friends,
now we're miles apart and barley keep in touch.

It takes so much to bring it up in a sentence,
now we interact with post cards dated for a special occasion.

Like ghost inside our former selves,
Envious of who we used to be.
We sit alone and contemplate when we decided,
If not now then when?

I’ve always had that feeling in my head
That nagging noise that I just can’t seem
To push away
thought I conquered it and made it out

But my thoughts keep tumbling and dancing in my head
I keep tripping and stumbling
In and out of my mind

But I can’t quit kick
That I feel so sick
And these thoughts keep haunting me
I can’t let it be

Because I got a feeling

It’s can’t be me
It’s got to be you
I ain’t the monster in this story
It’s got to be you

Because I got a feeling

It’s not what it seems
This life is a joke
Don’t take it seriously
You won’t make it out alive

Your a god among men
Do you see what you do?
How you self destruct?
Make it about you
I think that you don’t

Because I got a feeling

It’s can’t be me
It’s got to be you
But if your the villain
I’m the hero
And that wouldn’t be true

Because I got a feeling

Little dream
You have died
Gave you a funeral
They buried you.

Some years have passed
I still miss you
Who would have thought?
Not me.

I feel stuck
A string of bad luck
Tripping over my own faults
It’s all to much

I hate you for giving up like a child, with a toy they didn’t want
I hate myself for being so content
I hate this town, I’ve run out places to drive around.

I hate you
And I don’t even know why
You’ve been gone for so long
Like a ghost that haunts me now

I don’t know how
To go on anymore
But I still do
Like a zombie

I hope I bite you
And then you die
And we’re stuck together forever
And I don’t know why

Because I hate you
And always will
I don’t even know why
But I do and always will