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Anurag Lamsal May 2018
And today I have finally shed everything,
Laid bare,
Peeled off all my skin,
Torn my muscles off,
And on these worn out bones
I have carved what it means to move ahead
Into the darkness
Without any knowledge
Of what lies ahead
What gale, what storm,
What hurricane, what tornado
Hinder my growth
From a sapling
Just raising my head
Above the thick layer of mud
Into the brave new world
To live again
To give again
To feel again
Today I have been born anew
And a billion possibilities lie ahead
Shall I become a butterfly
And flutter to the ends of the earth
Or shall I start as a firefly
And light my way into to the night
Maybe a hummingbird
And **** the nectar of life
But if I shall fall again as a human
Then again shall I rise
And become a new Phoenix
Today I have been born again
Today I will be born again
And forever I shall be born again and again
Even after I die
I shall live among the bacteria
That decompose me
Then I shall be one with mother earth
and I shall raise my head again
I shall break free as a leaf into a dear
And then I shall reside in the roar of a tiger
And so on it shall continue
Till the end of time
And I shall live forever
Thus, today I have been born again
Anurag Lamsal May 2018
she has flown over the cuckoo's nest
one moment she talks in jest
the other she rages on
she shouts about the battles she has won
she also talks about the fights she has lost
driven by her compulsion, scream she must
why?

she feels drowned
by the sea of sounds
she feels the need to cry
despite her failures, she feels the need to try
what?

she warns her fellow men
she lets them hear the pain of women
unhinged some might call  her
but there is no one that can stop her
how?

how did she get here, what route she took
she looks mad but maybe she is a saint mistook
maybe she is a philosopher gone astray
in her life, it seems that things have not gone her way

i hear her everyday
i think about her, what can make her pain go away?
is she happy, is she sad?
maybe someday she will stop being so mad
so crazy and see the light
someday she might stop her fight
against her invisible enemies and take her rest
maybe she will fly back from the cuckoo's nest
  May 2018 Anurag Lamsal
rosie
put on a brave face
act like it’s ok
scream into your pillow
lookin at the world go
why am i even here?
they said it gets better with time
i think they were lying

seems like no one cares the only problems they worry ‘bout are theirs endless flight of stairs looming over me promising something better at the top


cry so hard your eyes are burning
even then the world’s still turning
can they see how much you’re hurting?
will it ever stop?
be strong, be tough, it’ll get less rough
the nightmares you face every night will lose their touch
enough is enough, sick of the same old stuff

tears are falling thick and fast
wonder how long these will last
will they soak my face and clothes
or will only a few drip down my nose
eyes red-rimmed, eyelids swollen
when i come back out you’d never know

i can’t breathe, every time i draw in air it’s tainted with their touch
it’s too much, God, take this cup
no one cares, sitting alone in this bathroom stall because no one likes me out there

im hurting so much. not the outside hurting, skin rubbed raw in the shower hurting but the inside hurting head and heart bursting because here i am broken and no one knows how i’m thirsting to just be normal again. why have i been ruined?

please make the dark go away
if it stays i’ll fade away
only tear stained pain and quiet fear will be left
one day. one day. one day.
this was a dark time in my life. emotions were wild and raw and i wrote them out. thank you to any readers **
Anurag Lamsal May 2018
From the depths of sea
Icarus is calling me
Beneath the waves
He awaits me
With full faith
And unshaken resolve
His will
The sea cannot dissolve
I stand on the beach
Watching the tides
Helpless, hopeless
For i can take no strides
Towards my son
Towards my blood
As i think of him
My fears flood
My mind
My heart weeps
Not for my son but
Thinking of monsters in the deep
I, a coward
Should not call myself a father
I led my son to his death
What shall i tell his mother?
That Icarus fell
As he flew towards the Sun
This father could not help
He just watched stunned
As the wax on his wings melted
By the Sun's light
Never will Icarus rise again
Nor ever will he take a flight
Anurag Lamsal May 2018
I have lived
But
Never have i lived my life
As my own
As it should have been
Lived

I have existed
But
Never have i mattered
Never did i have meaning
Nor what i did ever
Mattered

I have run
I have cried
I have felt raindrops on my cheeks
As they fell
On and on

As i have wandered
A ghost
A shell
A copy
Just out of a machine
Lying on the floor
Never to be pondered

I have seen
I have heard
I have read
Magnificent stories
Where i could have
Been

I have slept
I have dreamt
Of my past
My days
Which could have been
Better spent

— The End —