I feel the crisp November air
Dressed warmly, the clothes I wear
I see those try to escape the chill
Huddled close, their voices are trill
I spot a leaf slowly drift down
A tree looms, it is brown
No more denial for it is fall
The warm summer, no longer forestalls
Perhaps it is time I move on
To my mind, I should not be a pawn
Some say time heals all wounds
How I wish my mind be re tuned
Their voice is forgotten
The memory all rotten
Like a leaf that might decay
Because November, has struck it with dismay

What have I found to not disappoint me
Not the unreliable companionship of others
But instead the vivid worlds of stories told
For I have found, it is my book and I versus the world

True are the words ascribed on the page
For they offer wisdom seldom found in peers
Not to say I enjoy being so recluse
For I have found, it is my book and I versus the world

Characters each with their own tales
Sentiments laid out for all to bear witness
Inspiring anyone who wishes to peruse
For I have found, it is my book and I versus the world

Be that as it may, each person has their own fable
Always ever changing in theme and cast
It is up to you to take part in it
For although it is my book and I versus the world, my book encompasses all

No one tells you how a relationship is your own personal story
How the entire time, the memories you make become pages to read again
How the full range of emotions you feel in the moment pale in comparison to the words you dwell on.
When you finish, a hole in your soul forms. Begging to not feel so unwhole
A tragedy in three parts is told.
You open a page, become addicted to what is shown.
You are entrapped, feeling full of life and wanderlust at an exciting adventure
However, you eventually reach the end, as all things must do.
No matter how long you took, how many themes were told; the narrative is at an end.
You might wonder what went wrong, question if you made the right choice,
If you could change one thing how differently things could be.
But as life would have it, time only flows forward.
You search and search to feel the same again,
But as each story is unique to yourself, no relationship is the same to everyone

Am I still Dreaming?
Dreaming of her, of how she cared?
Dreaming of me, and my hopes for us?
Oh, how I wish it were just a dream

Am I still Dreaming?
Dreaming of waking next to her
Dreaming of hearing her laugh
Only to feel melancholic again

Am I still Dreaming?
Dreaming, to slowly forget her
Dreaming, has my life moved on
I think I am Dreaming, no more

Can I love again as I loved you
Will I be able to treat anyone the same
For I don't know if it's you I mourn
I feel my love is forever outworn

Will the feeling of numb ever fade
The pulls of my mind freshly pried
Dreadful aches burden my soul
I wish to stop not feeling whole

In my pain I am not alone in rationality
Strangers and Friends volunteer their own
We all share in plenty of misery
Anyone who disagrees is full of self-trickery

A repertoire of emotions shown
Anger, Fear, Anxiety. All overblown
From above, all are unbeknown
The breeze makes all condone

All compositions flounder to no avail
Ramblings, doing little but unveil
How small one is on the short scale
The breeze swallows all in its gale

Alas, yet here do I sit
Writing to the end of my wit
Accepting that I may be unfit
The breeze still takes my writ

Pondering, I sit
Contemplating, all that has
Commence, the future

How does one weigh silence, substantial or trivial
I bear it never-less, pining for more
Not sad, Not happy; just empty of noise
I listen to many a melody; looking to perceive
never fully being able to grieve.

So I act an incautious fool, rash and at impasse
I jest not to joy, instead for self deception
Not impure, Not indifferent; just wish for affix
I lay patient for notification; trying to be connected
Yet feeling completely neglected

Is there an end to the charade, drab and full of flab
I resent it all the more, unable to change
Not growing, Not diminishing; stuck in place
I watch the clock hoping its passage will help gain
the unbearable feeling of pain

How suddenly it all changes
From Friends to Lovers
From Lovers to gone
How suddenly it all changes

Despite the pain, I feel free
Unshackled by guilt
Unshackled by anxiety
Despite the pain, I feel free

Out with the old, in comes change
Free to reinvent
Free to try anew
Out with the old, in comes change

The Day After is comforting
Yet full of Suffering

To think of sending her blabber
A chuckle is my chorus
My attention fails to grab hers
How my mind is going cautious

Pen in hand I study my convictions
Unsure if I am too impulsive
My feelings to me feel of afflictions
I would hate to seem repulsive

This grounds my humanity
I do not wish for isolation
Fearing to be more in banality
I write this lone conversation

Complicated is my life with my muse
Questions form only to be unspoken
So I feel more and more of confuse
My mind the evermore awoken

How I yearn for thee
Your smile my reprieve

Yet you lack the same gaze
I feel short in your praise

For I am in love with your esthetics
Simply blind by your aesthetics

But, I feel you find me not comparable
It simply feels that you fine me tolerable

How I yearn for thee
Alas I feel no reprieve