You’re about to give in
You’re collapsing
The walls are surrounding you
It makes you think
About life
Your past
The little details
Then you grow claws
Long mangy things you cannot control
They’re not part of you
But they have become you
It's not the end of the world
But it could be the end of you
You try to scratch at the walls
Bend them
Claw their insides out
But will it stop the walls?
Can they come to a complete standstill?
It is not you against the walls
It is you against time
Because in the end,
We are all up against the passage of time.
Don’t worry about the walls
Worry about the claws you make
Because each one defines a part of you
As they come from you
You make them what they are
And you can control that.

i want to peel your skin back
and reveal your deepest sweetness.
to look at your veins
and memorize their paths.
maybe then i’d understand
why you are so rough on the outside.
it takes a lot of work,
digging your fingernails into the flesh,
pulling and pulling until you are bare.
but it is all worth it;
to visit your center,
to break past what conceals you,
and take you apart
slice by slice.

You never stray far
Always shouting
Always screaming

Attention
Attention
Attention
It is what you crave

I pray to break these chains
I pray to be set free
I pray to hear silence from thee

I fall into tragedy
Wishing you to die like Romeo
But never to resurrect like Juliet

Why must it always be you
But never me?

Why must you cling like a leech
******* me dry of all I have to offer
Why must you exist

Why can I not be free
Why can't I be healed
Is it because you stand in my way?

Must I cut these strings?
Must I shear away the pain?
Or forever let you drag me down

Because when I am alone
It is always you and me

But not today

Did you know
the girl I see
every night
every day
every second I live
is never the same?

Did you know
she walks like me
she talks like me
but it cannot be me

I have no reflection

I’ve never seen it
felt it
looked at it
touched it
nor spoken to it

So girl, yes you
You who mock me
You who ridicule me
You who see me
Did you know we are not one and the same?

Did you know
I moved on
And yet you
drifted
And became a monster?

Did you know
because
I wouldn’t have
if not for
Your lurking presence.
Taunting me
Crying for me

Did you know
Despite your shouts
Despite your fear
I cannot be you?
How can I
When you didn’t know
You were real
And I was not.