I grew up
       In a run down family,
               A run down place

Where passive aggression was
         The fluent language

Underhanded comments
                 Were considered compliments

I grew up
           Where words were really
                     Just swords in disguise

And while we tried our best,
          It was a negative place.
                     Where I was taught never to rise

Where positivity was a mocked
         Friends seemed like enemies
               And my head was always on the

Defense, defense,
Don’t cause anyone offense,
Even if what they teach is down,
Just pretend you don’t see

Because really, my darling,
No one can never be kind,
No one is truly happy


Anxiety runs in my family,
     And I see it through genealogy

In our veins is depression
        In our DNA is dependence

Our sight was clouded,
Full of sadness and low esteem
Where sunshine is not all it seems


Despite my environment
      I realize positivity exists
            And actually, it fits!
            The sun shines through clouds,
      I see grass with a dewy mist

Rainbows and fairies;
                    How did you not see this?

Because of all of these,
       I do not trust
              My anxieties

I know that really,
        It is the enemy
               Whom lives inside of me

Well, Anxiety-
Get out!
Your clouds are not welcome,
Your fog is now gone!

I open the windows
         Let the morning in
Because you
         Will NEVER win.

Sleep well darling,
For tomorrow is another day
A day away from yesterday’s pain and the stress of today
A fresh outlook, a fresh beginning
The sun will smile down upon us,
My dear,
For you worthy of all the happiness in this world

You are worthy of all this peace,
All this love, all this embrace
For you are wanted, and needed,
Supported and all we want is

To see that you have already succeeded

Mommy, are you awake?
The man I married, I can’t seem to keep him happy.
I try my best, but he yells at me.
Mommy are you there?
I think I’m part of a mismatched pair
My husband says he cares,
But often I feel scared.

He never hits me, and he always says he’s sorry.
That I just really irritated him this time,
He’ll get better, don’t worry.

Mommy, is this what happened with daddy?

He would raise his voice, get upset.

Mommy, how many times did it take

Before he raised his hand with the first hit.

Dear Little Girl,
Putting on that shirt,
Wishing your body was different.

Dear little girl,
Trying new concealer,
Wishing your skin was clearer.

I see you,
Watching the others,
wishing you got the same attention.
Babygirl, it isn't a competition.

Little girl,
Close your eyes,
Open your ears and listen.

You are a beauty
You are a beauty

Don't be insecure;
Be assured.
We've all felt this way,
It still goes on today.

(You are a beauty,
You are a beauty)

Your heart, it beats for a reason:
You are a work of art.
(Beauty, beauty)

Dear little girl,
Wear what you'd like,
Love your body the way it is.
(Beauty, beauty)

Dear little girl,
Wear make up if you'd like,
But know your skin is perfect.

You are a beauty,
You are a beauty!

Don't be insecure,
Be assured.
We've all felt this way,
It still goes on today.
(Beauty, beauty)

Fingerprints on your skin;
Of the creator man.

Your heart, it beats for a reason:
He made you a work of art.

(Beauty, beauty)

Don't be insecure,
Be assured.
We've all felt this way,
And it still goes on today.
(Beauty, beauty)

You are a beauty,
You are a beauty!

I watch from afar,
And suffer in silence

I say "amor y amor"
But you have resistance.

I show amar y amar
Let me be your princess

I'm gentle as a dove,
But to you I'm a mess

The way you see her,
I no longer exist

Oh how you loved her,
Yet she clenched her fist

She had the world
In her hands

Yes threw you away,
Into desert sands

I would treat you well,
I would never rebel

Your pain I could defy,
On me you should rely

You guide me
I look around
Mist is all I see
The sun shines down
Through the leaves

The nature trail leads
Up to Your steps
Beautiful, white
Marble stairs
Strong and sturdy

I slowly turn
To ask
"Where are You?"
I feel calm
Even if I am
Without an answer

You have led me here;
I know You will lead me
Through the fog

You lead me across water
That is miles deep
This depression
Is my shadow of the valley

But I know that if I keep trusting
Keep hoping
And persist in prayer
You will lead me through it.

My heart is broken
My heart is shattered

The pieces fly
Side to side

As destruction sets in
Pieces fall to the floor

As I forget the truth
And believe the lies

Your false compliments
I cling to

The drugs I use
Really only bruise
They only give false hope

I try to cope,
Cover up my pain
But deep down, I know:
It is in vain.

Who will come
To mend my heart?
When will the prince
Ride up on his steed?
And re-start my heart
Against my abuser's plead

When will he
Find the key?
When will my garden's
Gate open?

He will find the pieces
That are scattered
Among the dead flowers.
And use true love
As his power.

He will mend
The shattered pieces
Put them back together
At last, I will be able to feel
Finally, my heart will heal

Because I will find
The tailor of my heart
And he will find me
Never again will
My heart need a re-start.

Here
Here is where you sat
Right upon my lap

I remember those days
When I would curl my arms around you
and you would look up and smile

I remember those days when you mumbled
"I believe in you."
And you would hold my hand

Your tiny little fingers would curl around my pinky
I would feed you hope
love

I would show you determination
commitment

And then I was deceived
I could no longer believe

You were my reason to live
But I let you go

You were my dreams
No, you were not a baby
You were a dream

Of hope
of faith
and of love.

She looks so nice
Nobody hears her cries at night
And her beautiful voice-
Is her only choice
What's going on at home,
Nobody knows
Nobody sees
But honestly,
I can see
Cause that used to be me
(That used to be me)
Her problems, her trials
She makes them so small
A true follower if Christ...
And I saw her in the paper
Nobody heard the cries
Under all her ties
Confidence, she shows
A true follower of a Christ
Her heart:
Breaking
Hurting
Crying
She keeps it to herself
No one seems to see
And at every cry, came a sigh
Heaven watchin' over her
Can't seem to find
My mind,
Must be in a bind
Saw her in the paper,
She's gone
Father finally killed her,
Filled her withies
And we hear the sighs,
We hear her sighs.

(Written around May 2011)

Every day I'm beat, but I still won't cheat
Every day I'm hurt, but I still don't flirt
All the time I cry, but I still won't buy
Into your lies
It's the new thing we try.
"Here's some crack, I promise you'll get yourself back."
Broken and bruised
The drugs I have used
I can tell you're amused
I am a prize,
You fill me with lies
And wrap me in ties
Mock my large size,
Then show me the guys
You say I am
Not of worth
But I have had a re-birth
You cannot deceive
Because Jesus I have received
You have no power
For I am God's flower
You cannot steal, or make me a deal
Because every day He has provided my meal
No matter what you have said, He is my daily bread
You think you've won,
but God is number one
You think I am done,
But I am God's son
To Him,
I am worth a ton.