Gay.
That is what I am, or so I think.
I love boys, they make me feel weird.
I get skittish near a boy who says anything nice about me.
I giggle like a school girl, I blush and I get goofy.
But...
I am hidden; From the world outside my shell.
A egg who is yet to hatch.
A refugee, hidden from those who are there to
Hurt..
I scream and kick and snarl at those who
call me *******, Queer, or ****..
They think they are smarter than I.
Smart enough to use a word that means
THE SAME THING.
And laugh at me, laugh in my face.
So I cut, and lace away at my flesh.
Totally brainwashed by the idea that I am not perfect to these standards of living today, that I am abnormal, some call it. Different, or a monster to society. But I keep going, scars on my arm show me I can beat them.
I didn't choose to be gay.
But I sure as hell Love it.

-------   that if I

*******

while holding an image of a REAL GIRL

in my mind

That

When I am done and the image fades

I get to scream to both the

Mental image

AND

to the

REAL GIRL

that

I GAVE YOU MY LOVE / and
YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME ! ?

and that

I guess as an

ADDED BONUS

that

I get to be

INSANELY JEALOUS

of this

REAL GIRL'S
REAL BOYFRIEND

and not only that !!

I get to be DEPRESSED

and pretend I'm suicidal ?

••

And all this

Just because I'm really

Afraid of REAL PEOPLE

and I'm really

IN LOVE

with my HAND ?

//

Try as I might

To see it differently

That's all I seem to pick up from it all

//

also

I'd like to remind all you

LOVERS ( ha ha )

Out there

To be sure to wash your hands after

Your  " affairs "

So you don't

**** your keyboards up in your rush

To tell us about

How ****** up your minds are

///

Try as I might

That's all I see happening out there