I first saw you as an impression
But the more I stared,
the more enraptured I became
wandering deep within your textures
the way an artist stares far beyond his favorite painting,
desperate to find its purpose
yet you were a untimely masterpiece,
that I could never come close to dream of painting

Speechless as I gazed upon your complexion
I could see your soul bleed through the paper
how deep I could feel myself falling in love
with every single emotion you made me feel
I hoped that with each meaningful glance,
I would discover every mystery you had kept secret
underneath every blemish you had disguised so well
an imperfect, yet beautiful painting you were
that glowed with the liveliest of colors...

Art had never felt so real.

I find comfort in my sleep
when my thoughts think of you
So enraptured in your existence
My love feels boundless
in every thought that speaks of you
When in reality, you're away
being held comfortably in the arms of your lover
I fear that I must be insane,
here alone thinking of you

Those precious moments I've shared with you
Eternally trapped in the depths of my heart,
where they'll forever be hidden from you
I fear that I'm addicted,
obsessed with loving you
Love deep enough to make me sink
O dearest friend,
              my beloved,
                        *my most treasured thought to think...

A love so perfect
mysterious and infinite
breathing life in all that lives
found me stranded
in the blackest darkness
rejected and alone
you exalted me as your son
freeing me from all my fears
that had ever been or ever was
I was then escorted by your angels
who brought me before your throne
seated next to the King of all Kings
it was there when you declared
that your palace was my new home
a kingdom where love reigns and rules all

"I think I'm in love with you."


You ******* ruined me
and I'll always love you because of it
You blindfolded me
and showed me how to love someone
that is impossible to love
so don't act like you don't know I love you
and say I don't miss you,
as if you don't visit me in my sleep
and leave me in the morning
so I wake up thinking it was only a dream
and yet you scoff at that
as if I was only saying it to be cute
after you have replaced me
with fake friends
and some sweet and funny guy
you just met
after believing some *******
he might have said
that made you feel special
so you believed that it was real
so I listen for once and *moved on
drunkenly to the closest girl that made me forget about you
but why the hell would you care
when you've always pitied me as just some friend
when I was a jealous, selfish fool
who desperately wanted to be more than that
And don't mistake my vurnerability as a weakness
when I had always saw yours as an opportunity
to be brave enough
to find a love within one another
something we both desperately wanted
how badly at times I just wanted to grab your face
and wander helplessly within your eyes
and kiss you in a violent way
that made you realize how beautiful you are
where you'll never go another day in your life
feeling as though no one loves you
because in the back of your mind
you'll know I always will
but ****** you've already convinced yourself
that I'm not good enough
and I'll never be so I get it

I'm only a friend...

so once again you tell me to move on
as if I ******* could
so you can continue living your happy life
since you don't need me anymore
because after all

I was only a friend...

So I guess I'll just hear from you when you get lonely again...

You make my soul blush
You make my heart sing
Your spirit is incomparable

You are an intoxicating human being
in the best and worst of ways
just the way you talk
makes me want to listen to everything you have to say
watching each word drip from your lips like untainted honey

You can make the mundane beautiful
I remember when I made you laugh for the first time
I don't even remember what I said
but I'll never forget how it made me feel
for a moment I felt like the most important person in the world
it was then when I knew you were special

You possess a extraordinary spirit
filled with an undefeated joy
for life and all that lives
and a heart made of gold
that radiates for the world to see
never stop trusting it

I want to see how easy it is to break... to fall
to know what it's feels like
when it has become impossible to stand up
it's this same defeat
that's settled in the despair of loneliness that intrigues me
how a human spirit can be so starved
and defeated by its own transgressions
while simultaneously surrendering its will and desires
just to watch them crumble down a slippery *****
inevitably leading to death
not by separation of the body but of the soul
I want to feel that defeat but not out of self-pity
out of pure, anxious curiosity
I find comfort in the reassurance of this predetermined state
since I know where I'll be at the end of that slippery *****...

                                               alone.

Those **** blue eyes
will forever be my demise

The way they resemble the sky
being reflected off the universe
in all of its infinite beauty
effortlessly finding its way
inside the iris of your eyes

No longer am I soberly sane,
for my heart is drunk on the idea
that your existence is all it needs

but let us not forget the stars
from which we come from...

Human beings is a carnal metaphor
we constructed and materialized
from generations of practice
out of the fear of accepting
who and what we really are
we are too infinite to be defined
the very substance that produces miracles
within our infinite galaxy
is homed at the very foundation
of our existence
free-willed celestial beings
crowned with the insignia of victory,
created by the very power and divine Love
which moves the Sun and all the other stars

It's 2 am
my mind begins to drift
it's then when her face races across its horizon
like a sunrise in all it's beauty
I can only imagine how bright it would be
as I drift off to sleep
only to dream
that her mind wanders off
thinking of me

Remember when we were kids and how we used to play inside boxes? No, literally. We were so clever, and powerful, that we could have the time of our lives playing inside of a box.

We would effortlessly transport to other worlds and transform ourselves to be anything we wanted. We genuinely believed, with every ounce of our hearts, that we could be and do anything that we could put our minds to.

So what the hell happened to us? Have we really changed that much?

Or have those same boxes become more real than we ever imagined?

It all starts with our first day of school. We are thrown from one box to the next:

"Oh you didn't fit in that box? Here, try fitting into this one instead."

Boxes and boxes of stuff. The same stuff we are told will give our lives meaning yet we are left miserably confused when we realize that it doesn't.

All of our lives we are taught to think that we're growing up, but we're not. We're simply just changing boxes. Ignorant to the intimate parts of us that we carelessly leave behind.

In the end, we gave away our innocence to gain experience, our freedom to be taught obedience. We stood by and watched our curiosity flattened by our deepest fears. What we're left with is this isolated existence we've become enslaved to obey and never question.

I believe it's this inescapable system of life that rots us from the inside out. The only thing that saves us is death. In fact, the only thing natural about our death is that we simply accept it.

After all these years and decades spent in boxes, we learn that death is our only way out.

Is this really how life's suppose to be?

I fail in the most crucial of times
and yet you still love me
Even though I'm not perfect as you are
you still call me your son
An imperfect child honored in a perfect family
Overwhelmed am I by your grace,
forever will your love fulfill every thirst
and hunger my spirit may have
I will wander down this dark path of Life,
while knowing that I'll never be alone
or ever away from your presence

Yes she’s a dancer
but her soul is one too
she glides across the floor
that she calls her home
yet I never fully understood
how she could float in the emptiness
and still feel so full

Just by the way her body interacts
with the surrounding air
and the ground beneath it
how her limbs move together in a harmonic motion
that illuminates the explicit beauty she bestows
just as the planets dance around the beaming sun
it was poetry

It made me feel as though
deep down she believed her Creator
had designed  her to be a dancer
not only for me but for the rest of the world
and that is how she found her purpose
better yet how purpose found her

She knew it and I could tell
by this half smile that stretched
across her face when she twirled
as though in that moment the world was hers
and yet she was modest enough
to never tell you that it was
simply because she knew that she was yours
the fallen Lucifer never fell as far as I have for her

She's my dancing angel.

the human spirit is like a fire*
it rages, bellowing out
cries of passion and fury
yet is silenced
by the fear of the dark,
where we lose ourselves
between what is real
and what is not
let us remember to dream
as though we'll live forever
dream on, dream on
let our spirits cling
to the knowledge of truth
that will forever shine
where there is no light
an everlasting fire
that burns at the core
of our existence
shaping the very foundation
of our lives

How could we ever find our own purpose in life,
when we busy ourselves trying to find true love?

from the fear
that you sleep with at night
awake your eternal being
clothed in this temporary flesh
and remember that after you die,
you will always find your loved ones
on the other side
of time and space
where over there,
you won't know them
by the appearance
of their face,
the color of their skin
nor flesh or bone
but by spirit,
with soul and all
it will be a beautiful sight
and you my dear
*would be the first one I recognize

Let's play make believe
old souls like ours
are the best at imagining things.

We can pretend we're gods
and from there we'll make our own heaven
out of this hell we live in.

We'll watch and applaud the planets
as they dance around the sun.

We'll make love on solar systems
and give birth to new worlds
each one better than the one before it.

We'll turn the people into stars
and the stars will be their galaxies
and our love will be the universe that holds them all together.

Our powers will be infinite.
*Just like our love.

I believe there's a soothing peace
that creeps through your veins
you can feel it in your bones
this indescribable feeling of warmth
that comes in a flash of lightening
like the flickering of a light
that illuminates the soul

In that moment of clarity your eyes are opened
as though they were awoken from an eternal sleep
this unconquerable feeling of courage explodes within you
the human spirit is utterly helpless to this impenetrable force
that transcends your soul to a blissful solace of serenity
where just being alive doesn't suffice
for the heart has finally found its home
built on the foundation of its true purpose
to  love
passionately, genuinely and wholeheartedly
without reason or by circumstance
I believe in that single moment,
one truly begins to live

I stumble
   with every
     *step I take
   away from
you, but too
  drunk to
     *get too far...

Every aspiring artist knows
how to silence the voices
in their head–– by turning them into art.

Why is it so hard to accept loneliness?

We are only what we allow ourselves to be, so I shouldn't feel like I need someone but I do and that makes me feel empty.

I am worthy of joy and happiness but I blindly try to find ways to avoid it.

It's about time to accept that I'm not going to be someone's "Prince Charming".

I'm not going to be the one that comes to save the day, nor should I.

People are selfish creatures and always will be.

Why should I be any different?

Eternities from the past
that are not threatened by change
and have become of me
and who I am today
it may not be what helps the beating of my heart
but I would be a fool to think it does not flow
through the streams of blood within my veins
the sadness that once caused pain
within the happiness that comes from a new day
moments that once were real
or am I wrong and they still could exist
in the sense that I can still feel
the joy they bring to each day of my life
when I realize
from within the depths of my own feelings
which now waver like the sea
how real a photograph can truly be

Don’t let life get too busy
that you don’t pause and appreciate
the tiny moments
that made you feel the most alive

We can get so detached with all of our fears
and worries this world empties into us
with our big jobs and big goals
just these empty sacks of nothingness
and ******* to feed our egos

How little we know!
about the quiet moments
we share with loved ones
mean for our soul
they fill our cups up with a joy
that always overflows

They make the weight of the world you feel
on your shoulders light enough
that you can carry on your own
they’re the subtle moments that you feel
the most in tune with your soul

Cherish those moments
worship them if you can
they’re what’s keeping you alive

The connective tissue
between our humanity
is what sustains my hope in it

It is the instincts we act upon
to protect the ones we love
the humility we show
when we cry into someone’s arms
remind us of how fragile we are
because sometimes
all I’m really looking for is someone
who can hold my fragility
and still love me for it
even when I break

After all
our life is fleeting away
with each palpitation
bouncing against the brittle
walls of our hearts
is a spectacle of God’s love
desperately longing to be acted upon

In how many ways
can I be broken
rejected and forgotten
misplaced and lost
before I come in arms
of your presence?

Holding me
as if you were the one
incomplete without me!

You stitch me back together
fearfully knitted
wonderfully made
in the mightiest of ways
my weakness perfected
in your grace.

I’ve never made you laugh
but I wish that I knew how to
I’m just too clumsy to be a comedian

I always fumble with my words
at the beginning of the joke
tripping over the fear
that you might not laugh
leaving me alone
in an overcrowded room of regret

Yet you’ve given me a stage and a mic
so I can prove myself wrong
with you sitting there
in the front row of empty seats
I can see you wearing a smile
that sends a tsunami wave through my chest
as I’m left standing there drenched
with my heart lost at sea
telling jokes about love... is not easy

I watched as the world around me
shivered beneath the snow
until finally the blessed sun brought its favor

The earth
welcomed its face
shining upon it and all the life it held
was bearing fruit of its long awaited spring

The riverbanks
found their voice again
as the water applauded against its currents

The birds
sang from their thawed lungs
a song that reminded me of
how far I had come
to finally see the world around me
become alive again

I whistled along with nature’s tune
delighting in how
this season will pass too