emotions are running through my veins so much I'm convinced my blood has turned into a tide of tears love and heartbreak

battlefield after battlefield trying to fight through a screen with words that are so sharp they could pierce a bullet proof vest and shoot a man's heart dead, remember when we used to argue about things like who takes more sugar instead?

running away from problems like my shoes can afford to do that, like my feet have memorised the feelings of stones beating against them, like my body has learned the rhythm of something other than how it reacts when it's against yours, really I'm lying to myself in a drawn out way because somewhere I heard a slower death gives you time to appreciate life a bit more

blame falling on he who cares the most, they taught me to love was a weapon and how was I supposed to know that it could truly **** what was there, living in the cold spaces and silence between us when we were lying in the bed and I couldn't imagine my life any different

everything happens for a reason but reasons aren't given for everything; I'm sorry but I just can't accept an end built on only atoms and empty screens

Maybe that's what love is, when I've been fighting battles with my mind for nineteen years until somebody finally listened to me cry out I'm a *pacifist

perfection is how beautiful we walk out of sync while shivering in the cold, my jacket too long and puffy to be comfortable and yours too black to be neutral in the face of my foundation

it's how you take little moments to look at me when ordering something because even though I've never learned how to admire eyes being held onto me something about catching your gaze still gets me a year later and if that isn't special **** I don't know what is

it's how my hand still searches for yours when we're together and how when you touch me it lingers for longer than it should all the while my skin shouting to break free just to hold you forever because in the face of nothing and everything we somehow found the now and I don't want to let go of it

falling in love is ******* messy and imperfect and beautiful and baby, that's absolutely perfect to me

darling, didn't you know I'd turn you into poetry?

missing you used to come and go but now it's that constant feeling behind everything i do and everywhere i go
2. kissing you at certain places in the city was a mistake because they seem to be engraved in my mind with that moment etched into their cobble stones forever
3. when my feet make a run from everything that's in my mind i realise that there's always a hope somewhere you'll be the thing that i run to
4. i want to take back everything i tell you because i never feel like it's adequate enough
5. whenever we talk my brain turns to mush and i'm stuck stumbling over words trying to connect some kind of saying from a string of sounds that come out like i either give too much of a **** or too little
6. whoever invented playing hard to get hasn't met me and my capabilities
7. i've forgotten how you kiss but i remember how i felt and that feeling is all that's stayed with me this long
8. i can't sleep anymore because i'm scared to fall asleep and scared to wake up and i wish you were here because for a while you were the main reason i was motivated to do either
9. metaphors aren't coming as easily as before but maybe that's because my hands have forgotten what it's like to write down anything but i miss you i miss you i miss you
10. seeing everybody in love around me ******* *****
11. bettering  yourself stops being beneficial when you realise no amount of bettering is going to help the situation
12. i don't know what i'm going to do when i see you next because twelve weeks has made me comfortable in your ambiguity and i don't know if i can leave this state of numb