and somehow your words made their way through my tongue and into my heart urging it to beat to only your lips

i want you to pick my body up and hold it together with every ounce of sadness you have left in you so we can crucify ourselves at the cross of depression with hearts open to loving like never before

twisted thoughts form around how much you realise you care about someone during evenings that buzz louder and louder with each pressing word that passes your brain and i wonder how long it'll take until i scream in my sleep trying to call a name long forgotten by the walls of my room

and i'm running and running and running in circles to try to catch up with my own afflictions but they keep beating me to the finish line until i'm left so weak i collapse under the weight of every criticism i string out to define my cells to shoot my thoughts to shake my confidence and break my passion

you were a golden girl until you let yourself dull down; nobody likes gold if it can't sparkle.

the purgatory my ambiguity chains me in is enough to bury me alive

there aren't any cliches about being broken left for me to spill onto this screen without leaving traces of my blood hidden in each meaning that's been studied over and over and over again

i don't want to think about how little or much you sleep or how much caffeine you drink to wake those tired eyes up because i know caffeine can't help and love can't work to distract a mind so full of distractions already

when it's two am or i'm drunk i think i miss you the most because it's only then i realise how alone i am and how perfectly my head fit on your bare shoulder but maybe the lesson that needs to be learned is that i'm stronger than the pain of missing you and you're lost in the emptiness of not desiring me

i wish i could send telepathic pumps of electric waves fuelled by the thoughts in my brain to your heart so that for a moment you could wake into a coma of happiness but if it were up to me you'd be asleep forever and i'd never want to pull the plug

maybe happiness really only does last in the moments when we least expect them but all i know is that somewhere in-between my hundreds of bruises and your thousands of insecurities i got lost in the cliche of a rose world and i was never read to give that up and i never want to let that go

tell me  you'll stay, even if it's only for another few seconds of this dream

The oceans my tears produce aren't big enough to get through to you

it was simple with you

it was simple with you at the beginning but the further we got into this the more my poems included maybe's in them

I told you im afraid of thunderstorms but the worst are when you're not here and I'm alone staring at a screen that causes what feels like a bucket of bitter salt water to come pouring down my cheeks only to remind me how human I am and how impossible to save from the things I fear most

Maybe you're here to teach me a lesson on love even when I thought I had learned them all but if that's the case I want to be left alone now because I don't have a warning alarm and I feel like I'll drown soon

Lifeboats are unnecessary but maybe next time you could bring something other than a rope that I keep cutting my hands on because all I do is hold on and on and on and on until eventually my skin cracks and no lotions can help it anymore

You can't keep giving me mountains of ambiguity because my rivers don't work well with them and eventually you'll cause a drought that perpetuates long past the end of this relationship and long past the end of maybe's