I revisit long-forgotten places
and a past that no longer offers warmth.
I yearn to return to where the spark ignited, to the realm
of genuine emotions and dreams.

I flee from my own essence, reaching for the stars,
as frigid as my heart.
I have become a stranger to all that once was.

The day concludes, giving way to night,
during which my heart
awakens to beat more fervently
in a torrent of memories
and illusions that rise repeatedly.

Only in the morning do
I rediscover my true self within the vacant walls.
And I aspire to become a star –
Just as frigid, to radiate from the heavens
and remain unattainable to all.

My thoughts drift to distant valleys as
I seek the ancient past that eludes me.
I experience a continual demise within myself,
yearning to feel the warmth of beloved hands,
if only in my dreams.

I escape from my own being by reaching for the stars.
There is no affection in castles built in the air,
and my heart remains shattered.

I wish I were a boy.
I wish I could ruffle my dark hair
I wish I could kiss other boys
I wish they'd see me as a boy too
I wish I could dress in boxers
I wish my neck's apple was seen when I laugh
I wish my voice was rough and smooth
I wish girls looked at me and think
I wish he were a boy.

Friendly advice...

when you wake up

from your allotment

of dream.

Please focus on what

people say.

I run my fingers over my skin,
it feels like the touch of a lover.
Some distant other,
engraved into me
etched into my soul.
Burned deep into my skin
is the touch that was once there,
a touch that will.
Never leave,
Never fade,
marking me forever
like the faded kiss of another.

I miss her
I yearn for her
I adore her
I cherish her
I long for her
I ache for her
I love her

And I envy him.
I envy him
For the little more love
She offers
Despite getting nothing
In return.
And I despise him
For not returning
This love
The love that I desire
From the girl I see
Every
Single
Day