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If you are seeking
May you find what you’re looking for
And if you don’t find what you’re looking for
May you be found by what is seeking you
you have to find
your own voice
he said to me
but he did not tell me
where to start looking
 Dec 2021 Phillips
Benzene
It's time to change your living,
time to follow your dreams
Doesn't matter even it requires
passing through all streams.
.
Steps may falter,
Roads may be steep
But your dreams shouldn't alter
even if you gotta jump or leap.
.
I know it won't be easy
but it's time to decide.
There'll be people to pull you down
and foxes to mislead you
Turn them away with a tint of frown.
because
To your dreams you must always be true .
Hope you all are doing good .
Just keep following your dreams .
 Dec 2021 Phillips
Bowedbranches
These nervendings
Stopped working again
Embellishings'
A hell of a crime
I'm not quite sure
But I'm determined
To learn from him
From any "HIM"
Mix a batch of medicine
Make certain it's poisonous
... A potion to open  you up

A potion
to make you devoted
But,  I know it don't
work that way
Yes, I've said
Magic is REAL

As any ideal
Forget what you know!
Throw it out
With the bitter wind
Oh I needa a plan
Needa plan
For today
No sense in really
Planning anything

I'm spent
So I
Sit and
Slander the page ...
Make .
It.
My.
*****.
Either I'm with you
OR I'm questioning if
This is who
You really are

Stay smart
Let's just part
Ways early
Separatism
Accept that this prism
Isl all  in
How you envision it
Different colored ribbons
I reminisce
Made space
In my memory bank
For these certain thangs
*Not sure what the title means but it was scribbled at the top of the page to look up later.
 Dec 2021 Phillips
Bowedbranches
Fill in the blank
We _too much
and
_too little

"Don't worry
IT'LL be quick"
Man, you's a
Manic nerd
Rambling some spoken word
Mad libs based off
Charlie Chaplin / Speeches

Maybe she's mad at the fact
I got my eyes on my own work,
   And that personality
comes natural to me
I guess
That irks some people ???

I suppose, because
everything comes easy
besides the easiest things
...........
Which we continue to
feign for
(Meaning that being in the world
Now seemed more like a chore)
Deep down
I'm really
Ready to enjoy this
These extra pages
In my story

I NO longer create
Alternate endings
When I'm slipping

This void
we keep feeding
With fake sh**t
It can't be taken,
Or obtained
Can't be caged,
or traded for
Glistening gold stones
trophies,
  hoes
Or a home
Alternate endings

Wanna love every minute
They can give me,

But most of the time
I can't give 'em that
 Dec 2021 Phillips
Surkhab
What is this between me and her?
Our moments hold love and hate
Why is she like this?
Fighting everyone, who hold flowers
on their tongues for me
They feel sad for her for being this way...
criticizing me for my ways
As they say, that I am no genius
And why can't she accept...
a life so normal for me?
I hold tears in my eyes
As her words hurt my soul...
But now, a part of me knows
those words coming from her...
hold a meaning lot deeper...
I see someone, there in her eyes...
Someone shouting behind those words...
"You are not normal...
There is a reason...I gave you this name..."
I have begin to understand the enormous love,
She holds behind those thorny words...
My past holds a thick account of good deeds...I guess
As out of all, the creator of stars gave her to me...
She, who has the courage to leave her own joys
to help the ones in sorrow...

Somedays, I don't like her ways...
But, at the end of the day...
She is the best part about me...
But, even at the end of my life...
She will be the best part of me.
 Nov 2021 Phillips
Benzene
Title ?
 Nov 2021 Phillips
Benzene
I know
There is time when when you can't keep up with your smile .
THEN
People say "stay strong" ,
"stay positive ",
"everything will be alright" ,
STILL
Deep inside you know ,
you are tired of being strong
and there is nothing positive for you .
You question yourself "when will everything be alright?".
BUT.
Only you know your story
only you know what you have been through
only you know how it feels to be you.
.You're not born to please others ,
you are born to be a WARRIOR .
.
I
believe
DO YOU ?
The Divide of you and me came gradually over the years.
You became a monster of your own making scarring me with trauma of you wanting to **** yourself when we got into fights, you obsessing over me and making me the reason for you to live.
This codependency I can't take it anymore.
I can't stand your sexist jokes, your pleading for us to be more than friends, you draining all of my mental energy, you thinking your better than everyone else and you repeatedly ignoring the fact that I would never be happy with you. I am one of the rare good humans.
I remember you being a sweet boy with bluish green eyes and now you are a shell of a man pining for me, a woman that will never love you the way you want me to.
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