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Tim Benjamin Nov 2014
God made me the way I am
And sometimes I wonder
Why God
Why would you make a man to walk this world alone with a heart the same size as the grinches...
At the end of the movie
I realize that I am only 25 and some might think that is not a long time to be without love
To them I say spend the next 25 years of your life blind
Because in 25 years I have never been able to see what beauty really is
Spend the next 25 years of your life deaf
Because in 25 years I have never been able to hear her voice
Spend the next 25 years of your life ... holding your breath
Because since the day she was born I've had a pain in my side where God stole one of my ribs
He stole one of my ribs in hopes that when I came across her
I would recognize the missing piece of me in her smile
And on that day I would be able to tell her
That I will love her as if we are the only two people on earth
Because I'm her Adam
And she is my Eve
Tim Benjamin Sep 2021
Ernest Hemingway once wrote,
"Why darling, I don't live at all when I'm not with you"
Never have words spoken more clearly to my soul. I used to think my life was just mundane with brief instances of magic until I met you. When I'm with you I finally feel like I'm breathing. I feel my body fill with air, with each rise and fall of my chest. With each racing beat of my heart in those moments when your eyes meet mine, you've awoken my spirit and breathed hope in to fill my lungs.

See, all my life I've felt the shallow breaths of emptiness each and every day. Praying something magical could happen at any given moment and like a bang a new more fulfilling life would blossom from the burned down ashes of childhood hope. Sometimes things need to be burned down for new life to begin, you were the match and like a Phoenix my heart was reborn after you set my soul ablaze. And I am reminded that I am alive.
Tim Benjamin Dec 2012
These cracks in my heart are like a road map back to the start
To when i found my first love
Or so i thought
We sat on a hill side waiting for the stars to shine
Slowly watching the sun grow smaller in the distance
And in this instance
I feel love
But soon i realized the sun was gone
There were no stars or fireflies to ignite the night sky
The sky was left dark
And the air became cold
And the love i once felt became a realization that i was still alone
But you can be alone without being lonely right?
Or does it mean that every night when i fall asleep
Trying to fight the tears and the fears of being alone
That nobody cares
Nobody is there to share my hopes and my dreams
Or stand witness to the fact that my life
The life of a hopeless romantic with nothing more then a pen and a piece of paper
Is important
But what can be more unimportant than a romantic poet with no one to love?
Tim Benjamin Aug 2013
I have always walked through life like an incomplete puzzle
Desperately searching for the beautiful picture hidden deep within
But forever stuck fixating on the blank empty spaces
And while there is nothing there, it somehow manages to mock me

But today i have made my choice
This boxing match with depression has gone on long enough
I will gather all the strength i have and give depression a one two combo
A one two combo so hard it would make Muhammad Ali flinch

And it is today as i stand here smiling
Center ring with one hand in the air
Depression is out for the count
Tim Benjamin Sep 2021
I miss you like the earth misses the sun, during the night while the world is hushed in its slumber. I miss you like I miss breathing because I've been holding my breath since our last goodbyes. I used to think time stood still in those moments when our bodies were entangled and our lips embraced eachother in a way that always seemed so familiar. But without you my love time has come to a complete stop. Seconds seem like hours and hours like days without you by my side. The broken pieces of my heart now resemble the sands of time slipping through an hourglass. And yet I still feel the pulsing beat in the voided emptiness left in my chest. I still love you and I always will. I wish I could take the pieces of my broken heart and fill a snow globe just for you so you will never forget the story of how I fell for you.
Just pouring my heart out on paper
Tim Benjamin Mar 2013
What is my talent the room awaits in wonder?
Not knowing the talent of which I am about to awake from its slumber
While everyone knows I play music and sing
Sometimes tell a joke or two because let’s face it I’m good for a few laughs but that’s not the thing
The thing I’m about to unleash here is from the deepest side of me
If you couldn't tell by now you will soon come to know it
That the man you see before you is an “in the closet poet”
Afraid to come out and slightly ashamed
Because I can’t write anything more beautiful than “what’s in a name”
I write poems

I write poems of love and the loves I’ve lost
Because love is worth it at any cost
It is the beauty that resonates deep from within our souls
Like a brilliant diamond that started from a lump of coal
Let’s face it everyone who thinks they know me has read me from cover to cover
Literally from front to back without even opening the book not even a crack
I was too afraid to let you in to let you see my world
Hiding in the closet like a scared little girl
But here I stand I’m not ashamed anymore
I write poems.
I'm performing this at a talent show. They dont know i write
Tim Benjamin Sep 2013
There she sits quietly in the corner,
Watching me
Longing for me to give her my attention,
Watching me
While I spend time with everyone but her,
Watching me

While I may pick up a guitar or two
Or tickle a piano every chance I get
She doesn't know that my mind lingers
And I find myself,
Watching her

Her smooth body curved oh so perfectly
To her perfect neck so long and slender
She was my first whether she knows it or not
And on the day we met
I found myself,
Watching her
Tim Benjamin Oct 2013
The day I learned what it meant to feel nervous,
you spoke my name for the first time.
It was funny, because your voice sounded like the next forty years of my life.
I somehow mustered up the courage that day to talk to you, and learned that your name was Jacque,
my darling Jacque.
While it was the most beautiful name I had ever heard, it somehow sounded incomplete,
like it needed my last name stapled behind it.
It doesn't take much more than knowing each other's names for something beautiful to grow.
I soon learned that your hair smelled like eternity, your skin felt like ecstasy,
and your kiss tasted like everything that forces a smile on my face.
From the first day I learned what it meant to feel nervous,
I fell...
In love with you.
Tim Benjamin Sep 2021
I wanted to take the time to write you this because you deserve nothing less than complete honesty. I know I've told you just how beautiful you truly are to me but I still feel as if you don't see what I see. Thats partly my fault because your beauty is more honest than I've ever been able to be with you. Your beauty is bold and unafraid so maybe it's my turn to be the same.

Honestly when I look at you I'm reminded that if you stare at the sun too long you can go blind but I wouldn't mind if the last image I  ever saw was your smile. Your smile reminds me of that, the sun. It leaves a lasting warmth that lingers even on cold nights. Ive painted your smile so many times in my head that I've memorized every little curl.

Honestly your eyes remind me of the north star. Like I could get lost in them, if they didn't point the way back home, to you. Under the bright city lights your eyes are the only stars that refuse to be outshined.

Honestly I've  learned that I'm my happiest when I watch you dance. Those moments where I can feel your happiness as your body glistens under the dimly lit dance floor. All I can think about is the mornings before winter, when the air is first getting cold. The frosted mornings that leave the world icy as if by magic.

Honestly your voice sounds like a song I've known my whole life but never knew the words to, so I just forever hum the tune trying to remember what's been forgotten. It echoes through me while the racing beat of my heart fights to keep time just praying it can be the next song you dance to.

I know you thought my eyes lit up every time another girl walked in but it's you who illuminated my world with just a simple smile. It's no wonder your name means God is my strength because I've needed the strength to breath after God stole one of my ribs and made you. So before you doubt your beauty again, look at yourself through my eyes, and know that,
Honestly,
You just need to smile and my whole world makes sense.
Tim Benjamin Sep 2021
I've lived an ordinary life
I have never accomplished anything grand
I havnt climbed a mountain or seen the northern lights
I've never discovered land untouched by man
I've never gotten to walk the great wall of China or seen the pyramids of Egypt.
But in those moments laying in your bed, feeling the way you body fills with air while you sleep in my arms I know what extraordinary feels like.
I've had the joy of gazing into your eyes in those moments before they close as our lips inch closer and closer with every beat of our entangled hearts.
I've gotten to see your smile illuminate an entire world.
My world became as bright as the sunflowers you held in the hands that I grasp in fear of letting you slip through my fingers.
Because of you Gabrielle my ordinary life has been touched by the extraordinary and I have felt love pounding in my chest praying it could soar across the sky. Writing you name across every cloud.
I have felt the magical wonder of beauty that refuses to stay quiet. Whispering your beauty to every star that has the audacity to try and outshine you.
And what more can the ordinary ask for than a touch of the extraordinary.
Tim Benjamin Dec 2012
I still remember our first date
I was so nervous i barely ate
But you thought
That it was cute
You looked so pretty standing at the door
My heart pounded so hard it nearly hit the floor
And that's when
I fell for you

But now
It's over
And I'm still not over
You

Like a road map your lost in my heart
And i don't know where to start
But it's true
That I'm still in love with you
When i see your face in the hall
And when you say nothing at all
I know it's true
That I'm still in love with you

I still remember our first kiss
When you told me to put my lips like this
And you took
My breath away
Summer was ending it was almost fall
And i didn't know it then at all
But that's when
I fell for you

But now
It's over
And I'm still not over
You

Like a road map your lost in my heart
And i don't know where to start
But it's true
That I'm still in love with you
When i see your face in the hall
And when you say nothing at all
I know it's true
That I'm still in love with you

So I'll have one more sleepless night
Because when i turn out the light
All i see is you
Because I'm still not over you

Like a road map your lost in my heart
And i don't know where to start
But it's true
That I'm still in love with you
When i see your face in the hall
And when you say nothing at all
I know it's true
That I'm still in love with you
That I'm still in love with
You
This is actually a song i wrote
Tim Benjamin Sep 2013
She was the shortest poem I ever knew
She was five foot two with eyes of blue
And while we had just met,
I felt as if I knew her my whole life

She was the shortest poem I ever tasted
I drank her in like the summer sun
And while I was intoxicated after one sip,
I can still remember the taste of her kiss

She was the shortest poem I ever heard
Her voice sang the correct combination to my heart
And while her song has long since ended
I can still feel the beat within my heart

She was the shortest poem I ever felt
My finger tips traced her body under the light of the moon
And while I can't read braille,
I could feel her skin say I need you

And in that moment I whispered the shortest poem i ever knew...
"Danika I love you"
Tim Benjamin Apr 2014
When I see you looking my way everything fades to black
A spotlight hits you and we become the only people in the world
It is in these moments when I want to tell you everything I've been keeping secret like
From the first time I saw you I became imprisoned in your eyes, imprisoned to multiple life sentences with no chance of parole
Or if your voice was my alarm, my snooze button would get so lonely it would be forced to use dating sites in hopes to finally get some action
I want to tell you that your laugh sounds like my favorite song, and I want to keep it on repeat until it
keep it on repeat until it skips
I want to keep it on repeat until it skips
I want to tell you that your smile is my favorite movie, that I could know it line for line and still watch it like it was the first time
And to be honest I've spent so many nights talking to the moon about you, telling the moon all the things I'm too scared to tell you because when I see you looking my way I get really nervous and all that comes out is
"Hi...uh nice... shoes"
Tim Benjamin Apr 2014
To the girl who will one day take my last name
I want to tell you that you look beautiful,
Beautiful like in the way the summer sun bends around the north pole because it refuses to set its constant and lasting
Just like the way my heart jumped the moment i saw you for the first time and it has refused to come down
Everytime since, when i see you, although i have never been much of a dreamer, i daydream about all the things i want to do to you like...
Make you smile... or blush
So that my daydreams will have the perfect backdrop of love to memorize your every freckle, and then i want to drink the smile i put on your face beause i know it is the only thing that can quench my thirst
I want to tell you that I want to learn ballet, just so i can catch you everytime you jump and make sure that ill never let you fall... unless it's for me...
I want to learn to draw
Because I want to draw my way into your life, van gogh my way into your past present and future, i want to spend my whole life with you, and on your dying day i want to roundhouse kick death for even thinking of taking you away from me
But most of all i want to make you... happy
Happy in a way that is unexplainable
Like why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near
It would be to easy to say that just like me they long to be close to you
And i want it to be unexpected like when you fall asleep after a long day
Slowely at first and then it engulfs you completely
I want to tell you that I want you to be able to feel the sunlights warm caress even on the darkest of days
And on days when you can't see the stars in the night sky
I will cut stars out of my paper heart
Even though they always seem to rip when held in hands that aren't careful enough
and then I want to hang them from your ceiling
So you will always have something beautiful to look at
And if you would just notice me I promise that I can love you like that...
But instead when I finally noticed that you caught me staring at you about 15 minutes ago... I opened my mouth and instead of all the soliloquies that dance through my head whenever you saunter into a room all that came out was hi.....
I think it was a good start.
Tim Benjamin May 2014
Here I am pen in hand
about to write another stupid love poem
still unsure if i have ever been in love
See I used to fake love to get handsy under the bleachers
now I'm so practiced at faking love that I could probably get Grammys
My words have always been adequate enough to put smiles on girls faces
But my words have never been concrete enough to find a place with anyone in particular
Maybe that why I find it easier to bounce around from girl to girl making declarations of love to you and then again to her
I've even gotten so good at faking love that I have fooled myself into believing I'm someone worth loving
So good in fact that there are days when I wish my hands were made of sandpaper because I've been stroking my ego so much that I've started devoloping carpal tunnel in my smile
But then again I've always had pain behind my grin
Tim Benjamin Sep 2013
When I told you that I love you like a fat kid loves cake,
what I really meant to say was that for the first time in my life, I'm nervous.
I have a kindergarten crush so big I feel like cupid flew an airplane into my heart the moment I met you,
and that this kind of love is the kind that can grow to be so much more

When I told you that I would love you until forever,
what I really meant was that I would always be there.
That God himself couldn't pry you from my loving arms,
and that I would follow you through hell and high water

When I told you I wanted to die in your lap and be resurrected in your smile,
what I really meant was that I want to watch the sunrise in your eyes.
I want to be caught up in ecstasy every time I lay my head next to yours,
and then experience the sunset in every quivering last breath.

And when I told you that I would see you soon,
what I really meant was that I was too scared to say good bye.
That every wish from this day forward would be used in hopes to see you again,
and that no matter where you go, you will always have a piece of my heart.
Tim Benjamin Sep 2013
When I was a child, I wondered if monsters really did exist.
I would check under my bed and in my closet,
not because I was scared, but because I was curious.
And when I was a child I learned that they do.

Monsters don't always appear as people would expect
They commonly hide in our cities, schools, and sometimes our families.
They scarey part though, they can hide in our hearts,
our tongues,
or even our subconscious thoughts.

I met my first monster while I was still a child.
And while most would think it appeared to me with a shaved head,
driving a truck with confederate flags,
and a ******* tattooed inside his lip
so racial slurs can roll unfiltered off it's tongue.

My monster was the mother of my best friend.
She stood looking down on me like a doctor looks at a forty year old fry cook.
And while I never did understand why the brown of my skin resembled filth in her eyes,
or how she could look at a child, with that look of disgust.
When I was a child, I could understand, that these monsters do exist.
Tim Benjamin Aug 2013
When people ask me to describe my father,
I try to do so as best I can.
He is a giant standing at least seven feet tall.
He is stronger then Atlas and Super Man put together.
And when he smiles, he can illuminate even the darkest of days.

When people ask me to describe my father,
I try to do so as best I can.
Because truth is he was never really there.
He was a magician, who at the drop of a cape would disappear.
He always smelled like old cigarettes and cheap alcohol.
And when he yelled at my mom, it would wake me from any dream.

When people ask me to describe my father,
I try to do so as best I can.
Because truth is, I never really knew my father.
But I can imagine what he would be like,
if he was still here.
Tim Benjamin Oct 2013
Who am I?
I ask myself this question almost on a daily basis.
People say no matter how hard we try to fight it,
we always end up like our parents.
But with a nonexistent father,
and a gambling addicted mother,
I have nobody in my life to learn from,
or to grow to emulate.

So I'm left an empty vessel,
with the choice of who I am.
After years of trying to fit in,
And trying to find the affection I never got at home,
I look into a mirror unable to recognize the man standing in front of me.
I've chameleoned my way through every situation,
And now I'm left asking,
Who Am I?

— The End —