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Jessica S Jan 2018
A couple hours from now, as we are toasting a farewell to a neoteric past, a new year will emerge from the ashes of 2017. Like a phoenix, it will rise again, and sing sweet songs of new beginnings and manifest hope for a better year. We wait for this day in anticipation praying the months to follow will be anything but a repetition of a life once lived. We convince ourselves that we will be more productive, that we will be more active, and that THIS is the year that will change our lives. So we set New Years resolutions, we mark our calendars with exciting new adventures, we establish new goals and reimagine our old dreams hoping that in this new year, we can accomplish them all. But, for many eager and willing people, months will go by without any true transformation. And as the year draws closer to its end, they are again transfixed by old habits and excuses. Their excitement and determination will have faded into the mundanity of reality setting them back to where they were before. For a new year can’t be the driving force for change. A new year shouldn’t be the starting point for innovation. Because refinement shouldn’t be pushed to a certain date and time. And if someone really wants to revolutionize their life, why wait?
Jessica S Aug 2017
The irrevocable emotion
I have about you has got this ocean
swaying back and forth on a motion
that can only be swayed by you.
The soft sound of your soothing voice
has got my head spinning
and other grinning
because it can only be saved by you.
But it scares me
how the words and phrases
that come out of your mouth
seem so flawless
like you always know what you’re talking about.
And it simply amazes me
that everything you do fazes me
and the days with you
always gazes me
into what I want our future to be.
Remembering the way you hold me
and the way the cold breeze
doesn’t seem cold when I’m with you.
The way you talk to me,
like I’m wearing your ring,
saying “baby I love you”.
But I’m always taken back
like I‘m suddenly off track
because those three simple words
carry so much meaning on their back.
And I don’t want to be one of those people
that say it without its meaning
because meaning it
means more than feinding it,
if you know what I mean.
I believe in love and romance,
not cheap titillation from cold hands.
I believe in flowers and cute notes,
not always coming over to rock the boat.
Sing to me,
play me a lullaby,
call me randomly
or just graze into my eyes.
I want you to look at me
and see who I am,
cuz baby I’m not perfect
but I’ll do the best I can.
Jessica S Aug 2017
Lately my vision of the future has been hazed with excuses that flow out of me like some form of muscle memory. Refused to answer the door for opportunity because of the fear I have instilled in me. And so I'm sitting here, deferring what could have been, for a comfortable life that should have been temporary. Watching other friends run past me and overlap me, making the end seem further than it should be. Letting myself dodge the responsibility of taking the risk to be a better me, so that I can say I tried without actually doing anything. But I'm sick and tired of all these excuses. I'm dumbfounded that I even let myself excuse this. And I'm shocked that I thought I couldn't do it. But, nows the time to prove to myself that nothing will stand in my way. That, no matter how long it takes, my future will no longer be grey. That, I can be stronger than who I let myself be. Because in the end, the only person who will benefit from this, is me.
Jessica S Aug 2017
These thin walls couldn't keep our rage between us. Our stinging words would leak out between the space of the door ways and fill the house like rising water. The walls would pulse with anger creating more cracks for our disconnected language to seep through. And we would die drowning in the chaos.

So instead we stay silent. We lay on opposite ends of the bed and let time sit between us. We hold our tongues while we let our hearts sink into the lava boiling inside of our bodies. We wrestle with our own inner monologue arguing with words unsaid. Going back and forth between ourselves thinking that's what the other would say. Coming up with reasons why we're more angry than the other; silently resenting every second that passes by. Eventually we'll both fall asleep with heavy minds and burnt hearts.

— The End —