No
[noh]
adverb
def./ a negative used to express dissent, denial, or refusal, as in response to a question, action, or request.


I said it.
Over and over when I saw the drawings and heard their words.
I choked it out.
In a bathroom stall as tears ran down my cheeks
They didn’t hear.

I screamed it.
In my head when he held me against him
I whispered it.
Out loud when he touched me in a way i didn’t want.
He didn’t hear.

I cried it.
In agonizing pain as he stood in my room.
I pushed it out of my lips from the depths of my hurt with my voice shaking yet strong
It wasn’t strong enough
He didn’t understand.

I lied it.
When the doctors asked me if I wanted to die.
I murmured it in the ice cold room pulling my sleeves so my scars didn’t show.
I just wanted to go home but home wasn’t the blue house on 69th terrace
I didn’t understand

I sobbed it.
Into my pillow at 3am when it trapped me in it’s death grip at last.
Her voice had become louder than mine
And I can’t say it anymore.
No one listens.



-o.g