Sometimes
when I look at old pictures of you,
I cant remember you.
I cant remember
what used to look like
or what your face would look like now if it was looking back at me.
Because when I see you,
I see the sadness.
The sadness that I feel
without your presence
and the sadnes
that took you away from me.
I see the life you lived
that many times I couldn't be a part of.
I see the silence
that housed your suffering,
but also the joy that you gave
to every person that has passed through you.
I see the empty chair on my wedding day
and the vacant arms around my children.
I see myself reaching for you
and crying your name when I'm alone and forgotten.
So when I look at you,
I dont see your face.
I dont see your gray hairs
or brown eyes or fake smile.
I see your past,
and my future
and everything in between 
and I miss it.
I miss you.