mind races at night as of late, eyes ache and i am uncomfortably warm; covers on and off, hourly trips to the bathroom just to break up my night of turning and tossing, thinking and dozing but never sleeping. aching with starvation and frustration itβs hard not to groan into my pillow and i squint at a screen for a few minutes yearning for a distraction but no one is there. too late: 1, 2, 3, 4 oβclock and the sunβs already shining through my sheer cream curtains. feels like a trap, like a room with no doors or windows but itβs ever so bright. my hair is tousled and damp with sweat, dreams are black and last no longer than blinking.