I lie here awake at night.
Thinking.
Dreaming.
Believing.

I will never be the same person I once was.
But I can only hope, that I will become the person I want to be.
The person I’m meant to be.
For I have escaped.

And what’s that you ask?
What have I escaped?
You will only know through the truths I’ve encountered.
For I, will no longer give in.

I fear lies.
entitlements,
and envy.

For I don’t want to mistake your promises for prophecies that will never exist.
You destroyed me.
Your destruction compelled me into believing that there was better.
And that the pain would end.
But it didn’t.
It grew stronger.
And so, I grew stronger too.

But I did from you.
I ran so fast, that I no longer allowed your lies to fool me.
You couldn’t keep up.
And you kept trying to take me away from everything I built.
From the new person I became.
And the new bond I had created within myself.

But it hurt at the same time.
And it wasn’t easy to destroy the walls I had built around everyone else.
For you were the only one I let in for months on end.

And eventually, they came tumbling down.
Because I had so much fight in me, that I believed I could escape you.

And for a minute, just a moment, I second guessed everything.
But I knew it was you drowning me, because you swallowed me whole.
For years.
And this was my year to thrive.