They say that insanity
Is doing the same thing
Over and over
Expecting different outcomes.

So what exactly was I thinking
When I tried to kiss your lips
Not a second after they spat lies
Like knives into my heart?

What went through my head
When I tried to hold your hand
Just a minute after it left
A red mark on my cheek?

What did I think I was doing
When I tried to embrace your body
A short moment after it pushed me
Further into the bathroom wall
To muffle my protest?

And why, oh, why do I keep crying
Every time you walk away
When a few glances later
You crawl back to me again?

And by what right do I keep crying
Every time you lie or fail me
If my arms are always open
And I love you all the same?

And by everything I know that’s true
By the last bit of sanity in my mind
I swear this will be the last time

And not because I’ll get up
Or be strong or walk away.

But because you’ve walked all over me
And all over again
I find myself holding on
To something-
someone that’s not there.

And with your next step,
I might just snap and break
And fall apart completely,
Just for your sake.