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Mar 2018
Another candle on the cake
Another wasted year where nothing has changed
Ya know, when I was younger I thought by this point
I’d have my whole life arranged

“How’s the birthday boy” they ask
They’re not too wrong, you see
If I’m 22 two years old
Then how come I’m only half the man I used to be?

You asked me how I am?
Well, what am I supposed to say?
“Can you supply me with a basic, depthless response?”
I think that’s what you meant to say

Because if I told you how today makes me feel
You’d wonder why I’d have the gaul to ruin Your day
You’re here to celebrate
Whereas I’m here to entertain you until you go away

But Grandma, if you really want in
On today’s daily dose of looming existential dread
Let me blow out the candles first,
And then I’ll let you inside my head

They say when you blow out the candles you’re supposed to make a
wish
And every year- for as long as I can remember
I’ve had but one wish
That always goes unanswered

I wish that someone could love me
And fix me
Put on a suit of armor to help me fight my
Depression and anxiety

I wish for a companion
Who would never rest until I loved myself as much as they love me
Someone who’d never give up on me
For absolutely no reason or rhyme

I’m so sick and tired
Of being so eager for these wishes
Knowing that there’s no magic
But yet, hopelessly begging there’s power in this tradition

But this year, Mary
I didn’t wish for any of that
Because I’m tired of hoping and wishing.
I just wish for it all to be over
Poem could be better, but it’s really all I wanted to say
Alec Astaire
Written by
Alec Astaire  25/M/Fort Collins
(25/M/Fort Collins)   
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       someone, Glassmuncher, eileen, ---, Ek and 5 others
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