I have excrutiating back pain from carrying double heartbreak.
It has been three months since my liberation,
three months since I stopped envisioning my nails scratching a kitchen table,
screaming out his name, my back arched.
Three months since I have kissed sanity on the lips and watched it undress me ever so gently.

I have been in bed with insanity for months now, letting it tear me open in my sleep.
For months, I have involuntarily let loneliness hold me in the night and ***** every inch of me.

Every ounce of my heart is rolling around in my throat.
It chokes me in my sleep.

I swallow my own tears,
let my arms lay limp and my legs drag behind me.
At night, when the dim moonlight dresses my skin in glow,
I rip my clothes off,
I allow the darkness to follow the moonlit floor, and watch it dance with me, all in my bareness.

I sleep,
it touches me.
I awake,
it watches me rise and take the day.