You ask me why im so quiet,
maybe its from the hours spent at
home trying to get my opinions heard
under a shaking voice only to be yelled at
and told I am wrong.

When you wonder why we never hang out
or why I don't tell you anything too personal
don't take it personally, I've seen enough to know
that people you care about don't stay around
forever, people die and friends leave you.

And when people are shocked that I've never
been in love they don't know the hours I've
spent healing the wounds of friends with
broken hearts and reassuring my cousin
that she is in fact loved.

You don't know what it takes to drag myself
out of bed in the morning or how I take a 4 hour nap after
school because school drains the life out
of me.

You don't feel the constant fear
of public speaking, of even talking to a
teacher makes me tremble inside.

You don't know because I don't let
you know know, because I can't,
because letting you know means letting myself
be vulnerable to even more pain and stress.

You won't know because I've been open before,
and I've been hurt.