I'm doing only enough to get by
day by day
I force myself to get out of bed each morning
because of the pain of knowing that I will never be able to wrap my arm around you in a hug
And I will never be able to her your giggle as we exchange admiration  over boys  that we will never have the chance to hold
Each of us searching for our own sense of belonging but somehow
knowing that we belonged together
like peanut butter and jelly
like mashed potatoes and gravy
like you and I
an inexplicable bond we had
people look at us in as we giggle in confusion
but we only stop to catch our breathe
We had the type of friendship that
distance never mattered
time never matter
The bond only grew stronger
Laughter only grew louder
our memories only grew greater
our dreams grew grander
As we fed each other every ounce of strength we could muster when times were hard
We held each other close when the dams behind our eyes flooded over and we couldn't stop them
But now what am I supposed to do
When my mind is on an hamster wheel
Spinning spinning spinning
So fast that I don't know if I can stop it
When the dams that I've built up behind my eyes begin to overflow
When I am suffocating and have forgotten how to breathe
I wonder
Will I desperately call your number just to hear your voice mail again
Will I scroll through all your old photographs to remind myself
that you can't answer my messages anymore
Will I yell at you for leaving me so prematurely that I didn't have time to prepare my last good bye for you.