when you get the courage to finally dream again and fall in love, it's always the stories and people who've you used to that come crawling back into your mind

let me be

I can't believe I ever attempted to love someone like you and when we parted ways you called me a liar and a cheat as if my memory meant nothing to you

I hope you see me as I am now

Hopeful but still learning how to better my mind

I'm sorry for the distraught state I left you in but it was for the better... you and I would have never won

I shouldn't
I don't want to say it
You've already put a ring on her finger
Her delicate soft hair tangled around you
But I still miss you
Despite the arms that hold me close
Your smile always drives me mad
I can't now
I really shouldn't
Part of me did love you once
Yet I'm surrendering my feelings to the clouds
I would be a fool to think you could love me

sparrows in the wintered hedge
early grey clouds
the cold biting at my ears
the glowing red of holidays gone
traded in for windy afternoons
noses pressed against the window
we can't touch but we can cry

i just wanted to write
but something got in the way

you were trying to send morse code
i was just trying to get lost

i know we weren't good enough
to survive the storms

but I'm back now...
this time without you

fighting
clawing
scratching
gasping
for whatever glimpse of clean air
when the apocalypse is over
when the bodies outnumber the grains of sand
for whatever rain storm befalls
the rain will take over in waves to
cleanse
dry
redeem
purify

today I have run out of words

maybe tomorrow I will find a few

I am nothing less than tired

quite possibly bored with what time I have

wandering aimlessly in my mind

maybe tomorrow I'll wake up feeling better

told myself love was a waiting game
I got dealt cards I didn't know what to do with
I tried to set them up but they fell down
my house of cards couldn't withstand the rain
people taking advantage of me
people trading cards under the table

told myself just to hold out a little longer
throwing dice at the wind and screaming at God
thought it was all over for me
till I decided to go all-in and win
betting my soul on an ace of hearts
looking at your from across the game of chance