Unsa’y ikatambal sa kasing-kasing nga nasamdam?
Unsa’y pwede ikapugong anin’g mga luha nga wa’y undang sa pag-agas?
Unsa’y akong buhatun para mawala nin’g nipilit nga kasakit
Sa akon’g dughan nga sa imu ra gihapon nipitik?

Ana sila mawala ra daw ni
Ana ka “this is for the better”
Ana ko, “asa ang better?”, “kanus-a pa?”
Kung sa paglabay sa mga adlaw, sakit gihapon
Sama atun’g adlawa nga ako nabiya-an.

Unsa’y akon’g buhatun anin’g dughan ikaw gihapon
Ginapangita, ginadamgu, ginahuna-huna?
Ako nagpabilin sa tunga-tunga
Sa pagsangpit nga ako balikan nimu
Ug sa pagbiya, paglubong anin’g paghigugma
Nga wala na lingi-a.

Ug samtang karun nga bisa’g gamay lan’g nga pagtakdol
Sa kasing-kasing ug sa mga kagahapon’g panumduman
Wala’y lain kan’g madunggan kundili
Hagulhol nga daw namatyan
Ug sa padayun nga pagpatay anin’g ala-ut nga gugma.

Ako padayun nga mamasin
Nga pag-abut ugma damlag
Mahuman ang kasakit
Magsugod ang bag-un’g
Kalinaw, kalipay, malipay
Akon’g kasing-kasing unta magmaya na sab.

Apan karun nagpabilin kon’g mangutana,
Unsa’y ikatambal sa kasing-kasing nga nasamdam?
Unsa’y akong buhatun para mawala nin’g nipilit nga kasakit
Sa akon’g dughan nga sa imu ra gihapon nipitik?

Ikaw at ako
Tayo
Meron bang ganun?
Oo, sabi mo
Isipin natin ang tayo
Isipin natin kung ano ang
Nangyari at mangyayari pa
Isipin natin
Hindi ang ating sarili kundi..
Tayo
Meron bang ganun?
Oo, sabi ko
Sa tuwing magkatugma ang ating mga mata
Iyo’y kumikislap, sinasabing
Oo, tayo talaga
Magkadikit ang mga kamay
Doon ako’y tila nalulusaw
Sa init ng mga palad ****
Aking naging tahanan na
Sa tingin ko ba meron talaga?
Oo, sabi ko.
Hindi ka maiiwan
Hindi kita iiwan
Hindi kita kayang iwan.
Hanggang sa huli,
Tayo.
Oo, pero nawala ka
Iniwan ako sa ere
Ganun naman talaga
Nagsimula ang mga
Sakit ng nakaraan,
Akala ko'y kaya kong
Pahilumin ang sakit ng
Mga pag-ibig ****
Noon iniwan ka
At babalikan **** muli
Balikan mo akong muli
Na parang wala
Tayo ulit
Tayo na
Tayo pa
Masakit.
Asahan **** andito parin
Hindi ko iisipin ang ako
Kundi
Tayo.
Masakit.
Paano ba bumitaw?
Kung nakalimutan ko ng isipin
Ang sarili
Dahil nga,
Tayo di ba?
Paano ba maging tayo?
Hanggang ngayo'y
Wala ka pa.

Ayaw lang unta kog ilara
Nga sa atong duha mas dali kong nakahawa
Nga sa pagkatinuod ikaw layo na.

Ayaw lang unta ko patuoha nga ikaw galisud sa pagbuhi, nga ikaw galisud nga ako maadtu sa lain,
Nga ikaw man diay ang nibuhi ug sa lain napalid.

Ayaw lang unta panganad nga pasakitan ko nimu
Ug ako mupahipi ra diri sa daplin
Kaning sakit sa kasing-kasing
Wa na gyud ko kasabut unsaon pagpa-ilin-ilin.

Ayaw lang unta ug balik nga murag wa kay nakit-ang lain
Nga murag ikaw ra gihapon ug ako ug ang kalibutan nga kita ray nakahibalo.

Nasakitan sad biya ko
Ug ikaw sad, kahibaw man ko.
Pero ayna kog baliki, ayna kog hilaki
Nga murag wala siya, iyaha na imung gugma
Ayaw nako binli.

I don't want to daydream of you.

~~
They take me farther from the reality of you until I reach a point where you become like a fictional character rather than a someone I've had sweet memories with.
~~

Oh, daydream just doesn't do you justice, love.

~~ Criss ∞

This was a story of letting go and moving on.

I was eating my heart out of cups of rice with nilagang baboy on the right side of my medium-sized plate. I was happy, it wasn't just of my almost-full tummy. It was that of enjoying myself without restraining to the possibility of getting myself fatter as if I'm fat enough to worry or worse, that getting fat was even possible. Diet was never something I waste my time worrying, I act as if it was never existing. But boom! My nilagang  baboy was gone. I was so blown away with my happy thoughts I hadn't notice I have eaten them all. I was about to get sad and push myself to stop until I heard my dad, "sisig coming up". I knew right there & then, there's a purpose to every letting go, moving on. So, do.

To My Dearest Love of All Time,

I'm going to allow you and give you the opportunity to find me. No, I mean, I will allow love to find us finally and lead us into each other. And no, I'm not expecting you to be somebody I know. for all I care, I'm living my life the best I can. I'm waiting for the time when we would finally meet. So, I hope you're living yours beautifully too.

My friends would casually ask me what's the best day I have ever lived, I haven't lived it yet as I'm reserving that day to be ours.  Know that I'm waiting here patiently, although I'm not good at that -- waiting. But know that I'm giving the best that I can because I want to give my best to you. Don't shun away, walk that road into our Happily Ever After because when I would finally find you, I'll walk straight towards you or maybe run if it's not a very desperate move to do.

Is it possible to miss someone you haven't met? Because that's how I feel every time I think of you. Is it possible to love someone whom you still have to meet in the future? I have all my love reserved for you.

-- Criss ∞

Ayan! Siya pala yung taong
Minahal ko
(At patuloy ko pang minamahal)
Oo, nakakalula yung tingin at ngiti nya
At kung marinig mo man ang mga tawa niya
Naku! Gagawin mo ang lahat para
Marinig at marinig at marinig at marinig
Paulit-ulit ulit-ulit at hindi mo pagsasawaan
Ang mga tawa niya.

Siya pala yun
Yung kaya kong gawin lahat
Ipaglaban hanggang sa dulo
Noon, walang kasiguraduhan
Yung pinagagagawa ko sa buhay
Hanggang siya..
Dumating nga siya’t lahat ng bagay
Ay may kabuluhan
Ang mga araw ay naging
Mas maaraw
Nakikisayaw na rin ako sa mga
Ulan sa hapon
At sa gabi
Di alintana ang lamig sa init ng mga yakap
Kapag yumayakap
Sa bawa’t sandali.

Siya nga yun
Yung nakiusap na bumitiw at bitawan
Mga kamay na hindi ko pa nga
Nahawakan
Mga ngiting hanggang sa litrato na lamang
Mga salita ng pag-ibig
Na hindi pa naipaglaban
Pero bumitaw na siya
At naki-usap ako’y bumitaw na.

Siya yun
Yung kaya kong gawin lahat
At ngayon ay paulit-ulit kong
Binibitawan
Sa puso at isipan
Kung kaya ko siyang ipaglaban
Siguro (sana naman)
Kaya ko din siyang bitawan.

No matter the beauty – your look, your make-up
Your measures, do you follow an ideal body shape?
Society should never dictate you, love
You are beautiful; take away that palm on your face.

And that while the world has her own
Standard of how beauty ought to look,
Wear your most beautiful self you’d find within
Do your walk, babe, show the world who you are.

Don’t tear yourself down, wear who you are
If you say you’re weird, dance it out to centerstage
The world needs crazy darlings who’d turn the world –
Turn this little world into a crazily beautiful haven.

And if you say you’re little compared to them b*tches
Let your little things creep in slowly
Go low and go slow, they say
You’ll build castles of pretty little things someday.

Wear your beauty – flaws and all –
You are beautiful, your promising eyes twinkle
Let your wings take flight, your soul be seen
Let it sing as you free yourself from within.

Take away that palm on your face, I say
Make them do facepalm not for how they thought you fail
But of how they did let such beauty pass them by
While they were looking for better, they took for granted the best.


~~ Criss ∞

Oh I still think of you
In the quietness of the night
And every time I see couples around
I wonder how we could have been
Oh how my heart could have been
Jumping up and down within
This tiny cage a chest that's mine.

I still think of you
Your picture saved in
My alter reality - somewhere 'Us' happened
Your name still found
At the back of my notebook written
Oh you are still there
I don't know when you'll last.

But I still think of you
And I'm giving you that chance
Do something, move forward -
For us - so that in this reality 'We' exist
My patience running low; I'm getting impatient on you
Thinking is never enough, I should have done something
Only that I'm a woman, I could just wait..

But boy know that today
Just like all the days before
And probably all the days after -
I am thinking of you
Oh and that every thing in me
Every hope, every dream
You are there, you never left.

~~ Criss ∞

Oh you might say that all who waited
Somehow, someday, find their treasures been waiting
But I know of a girl who had a tragic in-between of a story
She thought was her end of the line but behold
Another story was set before her surprised.

She found him in her innocence
Between what supposed in the way of her - a woman and a girl -
He looked at her first, she got his heart after
But years for their ‘us’ was far ahead so they kept a promise
To wait for him was hers; to wait for her, he tried.

Their vows were broken out of a simple ‘yes’ he found
In someone else’s lips said what he thought was love
Left alone was she, and the years far ahead gone astray
Like fragile bottles only to be broken to tiny pieces
Nothing else was left but memories singing the winds have carried.

Alone she walked through life she thought was cruel
‘Why do I always have to let go those that I loved’?
She had recounted every single one of those
She had to let go, she was left with moving on
Until there was this light, enough that darkness had to say goodbye.

Light was sparkling through someone else’s eyes
Alas! It was the eyes of true love, she hoped
Hoping was the only thing she knew, well except
Of letting go, moving on, and walking away for a thousand times
But this she found was something else, something worth the wait.

Never wasting time, they winded up in each other’s arms
Like a moth captivated by the candle lit in the darkest room
Their story was like dancing to and fro, of being afraid and trying to risk
They tried to risk, but time again for them was far ahead,
They had to bid farewell of what supposed to be true love.

She dared continue walking, away from pain towards hope again
She was now more onto loving her own, life would be beautiful
If only she would like herself more than before
Contentment was key, waiting was another
But fate had something else in mind for her.

There was this man who thought life was more beautiful
In living through pain and near-death experiences
If only he could waste his very own than how he does every time
Wretched, ruined, even thrill-seeker, or just a time waster
But truth is, he is just a boy inside trying to un-made his pain.

She met a crossroad where he was lying so lonely
She was a little too hopeless,
He was trying to be a little bit hopeful
They shared a smile that was soon followed a thousands more
It was like stars shining brightly, the night sky was full.

But dear I never would know how their story would end,
The story has not ended as I am still the girl who
Has been exchanging smiles with him in our little crossroad found
Star-crossed lovers we may never be,
But at least to knit our lives at this little time was enough for me.

How to love, how to make it true
I never have known had I never asked You
What the words miss, the actions fill
How to trust, how to hope nonetheless
How do you do to this, Love never failing
But You have always been telling me
In the stillness and through lessons
Fearless isn't absent of fear
Be courageous, stand
Hide in my Love, You say
There is no fear in Love.

Every night, like a marathon
Of memories of you - with you - I have kept
My mind a player that only gets
That one CD replayed until I meet you in my dreams.

But somewhere between replays
I have to remind myself to senses
You are not the life I have to live
You're part of who I am, now part of who I was.

Somewhere between these lines
I so carefully written my heart out
I should be on my my way to moving on
From

How is it that you’d ask me not to forget to meet you halfway and forget about it? Does your mind ever wander or your voice ever whisper through the winds or your heart ever wish in every shooting star about this -- about us -- the way mine does

every.
single.
time.

For you?

If I could count all the tears shed and all the hours I’ve skipped sleep and those times when I’m drowned on songs and verses and memories all because of this that I have,

For you?

You'd know the depth of how much you have an effect on me.

If only I could write word after word until our worlds meet and collide so beautifully again, I’d write how my heart aches and crushes and hurts.

How is it that you said you’ll wait and left me here waiting? And yet I’m still here waiting,

For you, Topaz.

Bundak uwan
Di man ikaw ang gipangandoy
Sa kadaghanan
Bundak pa, ibundak tanan.

Hilak pa
Di man tanan kasabut
Kung mao na imung kinahanglan
Sa wa'y pagduha-duha,
Ihilak na.

Get up and leave the broken pieces
Or take it all and give it up to Him.
Cry each day even when life throws at you joy
Or make every tear drop with a thankful heart.
Drown yourself in misery
Or drown misery out.
You are not okay, I know
It is okay not to be okay, you must know.
Life is full of variety and surprise,
It will either make or break you, make them all count.
Let it go,
Loose it all.
Someday you will see,
This is the reason you smile.
Life is good,
It is even worth the ride.

To whoever who knows him,

Tell him that although the world doesn't revolve around him. That even when I wake up it's not him I say good morning to. That even when there is so much more to life than him. This heart is still whispering his name at night, these eyes still cry for him, these ears still listening for some voice that might sound like his. Hey, I miss him. Even this far.

I'm about to get to twenty
About to say goodbye being a teeny
Oh the good life
And let's not forget the good years.

I was thirteen at first,
I was in love with him --
One I thought my first and hoped to be last
But for all I care now, I'm glad I've known him.

I was fourteen,
I ventured into something
That one thing I've been dreaming since child years
I had to let it go, glad I've some cheers.

I was fifteen,
I met another love, he ran in my mind
Yeah, he had a marathon right there
For a couple of years and I'm glad he did.

I was sixteen,
I was still in love with him while entering into
Somewhere that slowly reshaped my way of thinking
There had been stones along the way, I'm glad for 'em.

I was seventeen,
I thought I could make my youth last
But I was beginning to think I'm on a brink of something
I was about to be a lady, I was happy, yes I'm glad for it.

I was eighteen,
Oh and finally I could say I could decide for myself
Hey, I thought I would be happy to go
But I am happy with my parents, I'm glad I have them.

I was nineteen,
I let him go, he broke my heart but
Somebody came, broken too, much more than I
I'm happy, I'm waiting, I'm glad for him.

Tomorrow I'll turn into another year older
Hey, I don't want this to be written for somebody else
This if for me, this time I'll write for me
And for everything and for all I care, I love how my life turned out right now.


~~ Criss ∞

Tick-tock-tick-tock
I'm slipping out of you
You're slipping out me
Love, we're slipping out and into somewhere new
Grab a hold of me, of us, of everything in between
Let's slip away, away into each other's again.


~~ Criss ∞

I feel for you. It's something I can't put into words, really. Like I'm being this girly girl all over again. One step forward, two steps backward. That's how I am. I am insecure. Are you for real or are playing with my heart just like all them other guys? Your past was beautiful, so beautiful than I am. I am insecure. But then I think of how you stop and stare at me when you're in the middle of saying something and I look at you so suddenly. I like how you smile at me and whenever you turn red is for me what's needed for my security. I like how our eyes meet on that tinted glass door just so nobody else would see us looking so silly for each other. I like how you say my name. I like your honesty when you tell me about all your doings. I'm glad I let you feel what I have been feeling for you -- I LIKE YOU.

Childhood dreams, childhood cares
***** and strolls
Jumps and runs
Eat and sleep
Play, cry.

Not caring the world
Just what colors it's made of
Smiles and innocent gazes
Yawns and story tellings.

Big eyes full of wonder
How merry go round can go
Round and round
Yes, baby, keep wond'ring.

Tired and shoulder sleepin'
Teases and snorts
Slips and slides
Memories to last til next time.

And into a million pieces her heart is broken
He said all the things that might
Unbreak her fragile heart
But with his hands, the knife has cut her skin
Blood gushes and floods the aisle
To forever, forever was paved by the smell of her blood
He broke her heart; her heart is broken.

She's the woman I've been dreaming since childhood. She is goal-oriented, dream chaser, she is a travel, and an honest companion, a woman who writes of her own misfortunes and milestones. She is worthy to be proud of, she deserves to be happy after everything she went through. She is strong-willed and vulnerable, a risk taker and stubborn and fragile. She has a heart of gold. She is imperefect and yet beautiful. I'm proud of the woman that I've found. I'm proud of the woman I've become. And I'm still becoming the woman that I am. So hang in there, woman, because I will still write what I've written in letter a long time ago. It still is true up to now. I love you. No matter what you have or will become.